k100danny Posted June 20, 2012 Posted June 20, 2012 Well I was feeling pretty good about things the last couple of days, very optimistic and looking forward to the future or so i thought. This was maybe me just keeping myself very busy and trying to block everything out. I spoke to my ex around 6 days after the break up and we talked just friendly only referring to us breifly and she was calling me darling ect like she used to and it seemed a bit like a couples conversation. we text briefly afterwards saying how nice it was to hear each others voice ect then no reply. Ok I'm fine with that or so i think and I go two days NC. and my ex gets i touch asking how i am. I say im good hope you are too and i get the reply. yes im good thanks x So I'm left thinking why has she contacted me to just say that? If she wants to be friends then I have a bit more of a conversation with my friends, Maybe she got weak and contacted me then realised she didnt have anything to say so i ask. Did you just want to ask if i was ok or was there something you wanted? she messaged me the next morning and said she just wanted to see how i was doing really and she doesnt want to not speak to me. she hopes i am well and told me a bit about her at the minute and asked what i have been up to. In my reply I basically said look, I don't have any hard feelings toward you at all and we may be able to be real friends in the future but I dont know if it is a good idea at the minute. I said that she being the one to innitiate the break up obviously had a bit of a head start in moving on but I was still having a little moment now and again and if it's over I don't think talking is the way to go really. She replied saying ok thats fine we don't have to talk, you can delete me from facebook if you like i won't be offended. Glad business is going well ect take care. x So I'm thinking WTF!! I reply again saying Look I just don;t think it's a good diea, it was nice to talk to you the other day but as you can see from my texting you after that you didnt reply to that It obviously made me think about you (my fault i called) I said I think we can be friends again when you can picture me with someone and not care and vice versa. I told her when i have moved on we can see if we would like to be friends again and i get a reply saying, she just wanted to chat, she hasnt moved on and doesnt want to think about anyone else but thats fine she wont message me again. I cave and call and we have a little chat, Everything went ok but i did find myself getting a little jealous when she told me her and her friends who she is travelling with have met some local people (some guys) and they were all thinking of going to a concert together but I didn't say anything about it really. She had had a couple of drinks by the time she called (I called she called back) and she kind of made a ffew sexual innuendo things and mentioned she missed sex (thats what all ex's want to hear isnt it!!!!!!) then she said she had to go because the other guests were looking at her while she was talkig to me and we ended the convo. I'm left think what the hell. this convo she didnt mention anything about it being nice to talk ect as she seems quite emotional last time we spoke on saturday. I ended up texting saying sorry but I wont be in touch again, no hard feelings towards you but its changed and its not coming back. take care and I might be in touch in the future when we have bothed moved onto new places. x I thought I was fine and now im thinking about her more. still nothing like i was the first week but she is definitely back in my mind. FFS im so mad at myself
blotter Posted June 20, 2012 Posted June 20, 2012 Don't be too hard on yourself, lots of people make mistakes and break NC. Now you have seen the results of breaking it and responding to breadcrumbs. So just pick yourself up, start NC, heal and move on with your life.
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