Twins Posted June 20, 2012 Posted June 20, 2012 Well, I'm on day 11 of NC since I last saw my ex. We were in a bad place back in March when he told me he met someone. Wanted to be friends. I made some mistakes by crying in front of him, apologizing for all the wrong things I had done, blah blah, well, I asked him if he loved this girl and he said he just started talking to her, but she was nice and she was like him. (We are very different and come from different backgrounds.) I tried to calm down and stay strong. I said I understand that people go through hard times. He said he didn't love her but did not want to try witih us. So when I tried to tell him we would not be friends, he got upset. He couldn't understand why. He said can't we stay in touch and talk from time to time. I asked him please not to give me false hope. We were together 7 years. Anyway, we stayed LC. (mistake probably). I found out that she and her kids have been around more than I thought or needed to know. I called and we fought about the fact that he lied. He said he wasn't dating her. He told me that what he said was Ii wouldn't call it dating. But that people's perceptions are not always correct. I said what would you call it when she is at your house, her kids are around and your family has met her??? He said I'm sorry. So I said, I want my boys guns that you gave them as gifts and just leave them in my garage. He seemed upset that I didn't want to see him. What was the point if I didn't even want to look at him. (In his eyes, he was honest and up front about meeting someone when we were not together) Whatever!!! Go be with her and best of luck. It was angry and heated and it was horrible. So I settled down and finally texted days later and said look, I get it, you are with someone else, I just hated the way we left it. I don't want to move on with angry emotions lingering. I asked to meet. He said okay. He couldn't meet when I suggested and then I just said, okay whenever. So then he stopped by a week later unexpected when I was home. we had good conversation. I asked him once again, do you love this girl and he said with emphatic NO. I asked are you happy? He said he didn't know what he was. I told him I loved him enough that I wanted him to be happy. He asked me if I was seeing anyone and I said no. He flirted with me, told me I am still hot, gave a hug and kissed me (not passionate, just loving) and he said it was really great to see you. He said he had to go and said he would see me. That was 11 days ago!!! I will not and have not contacted him. I feel in my heart of hearts that I will see him again. It just won't end here. I am however, moving on. I will date when I'm ready and will get it together. I've lost 10 lbs and down to like 123lbs. Can't sleep and obsess over him and HER. Part of me wants it to blowup in his face. Sorry. Can't help feeling that way. But I do love him and want him to be happy. Because in the end if he isn't happy with me, then I would never be happy always begging for love. No one should ever have to beg for love!!! I am in counseling and am working on things that I need to work on and I've made horrible mistakes in my relationship with him that I would NEVER do again. Probably cost me the love that I once had. I'm not 30 or even 40. I'm older and wiser, finally. Took me a long time, but I'm working toward being an amazing person that deserved to be loved. It did feel good to still have that spark (sexappeal, whatever you want to call it). That was always something we had that never wained in all those years. Hard to find that. Question: What to do about those guns? Why does he still have them? He has always been generous with my boys. He loves them still.
confusedheartlessbxt Posted June 21, 2012 Posted June 21, 2012 He is probably using that to try and keep in contact with you.. I think you should just call it a loss.. If he pops up don't let him even come in.. If I was you, I wouldn't answer the door. He can not invade like that when he made the decision to leave.. Best of luck!!
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