Your thoughts about this date?

[Hallo]

Hey!

 

I was on a date a few days ago with a girl I met online. We had two chat conversations and then we decided to meet at a cafe.

 

I'm very unsure how it actually went since I'm unused to online dating. anyway I'll tell the whole story so you get the picture.

 

Her buss was very late and when she arrived she apoligized a lot but I said it was cool and I'm not in a hurry or anything. She brought it up several times during the date but I said I was not mad couse it was not even her fault.

 

Both her and I laughed a lot as we spoke, we talked about friends we had in common and humorous things we had been through. (I'm good at making jokes and this meeting was not an exception, made her laugh a lot). We did not have many certain interrests in common but we agreed on a lot of things.

 

What kinda confused me though was that when she talked she would mostly look at other things (out the window/ her phone and so on) and not into my eyes. Does this have to do with shyness or was she simply uninterrested in me?

 

Another thing was that now and then there would be moments of silence. I feel kinda awkward afterwards because I normally would have been able to keep the subject going but we would at some points just sit without saying anything and then simply change the subjects.

 

The date lasted for little more than one hour, she then said she had to take the next buss.

 

I followed her to the buss and we hugged and said goodbye. She said "see you!", I asked if she felt like meeting at some other point. She said "Yeah we'll decide something!"

 

I normally wouldn't make forum thread about things like this, but the thing is she is kind of what I'm looking for; good looking, smart, aestethic and so on. I'm not sure if she has enough interrest in me that it'll be worth spending more time on it. Thoughts? Does she really wish to see me again? How do first online-dates usually go when you barely know the person you're going to see?

[Vintage79]

I've been on enough first online dates, and this sounds kind of par for the course - namely, ok, but not great - meaning you probably won't see her again.

 

A few thoughts:

 

1. She kept mentioning being late - that's probably a good thing, at least in the sense that she feel's bad/guilty - if she didn't care, she likely wouldn't have kept mentioning it.

 

2. Laughing a lot is a good thing.

 

3. Perpetually looking away from you essentially says there's not much interest, unless she's obscenely shy. If she was really taken with you, she could care less about her phone.

 

4. A few silences are fine, but if you thought they were a bit awkward, chances are she thought they were that much worse...it speaks towards lack/low chemistry.

 

5. "See you" is a cop out - if she really wanted to see you again, she would have said something a bit more definitive, at a minimum, "let's do it again soon".

 

 

As mentioned - I think it's done, but in the same breadth, asking her out again isn't a tough thing. Unless things were hellish for me, I usually ask them out again - just because you don't really know. If you get as many mediocre signals as you did, I wouldn't assume she respond with a huge, "yes", but a quick note proposing a day/time/location for another meeting isn't hard. If she responds and says yes - awesome. no response - well, you probably were expecting that.

 

If you ask her out again - just do it once, and don't perpetually bug her if she doesn't respond...makes it cleaner for both parties, and doesn't escalate your interest.

[Hallo]

Thanks for your reply! It was kind of like what I thought but it felt really good to hear it from someone who knows this stuff.

 

I texted her today, just letting her know it was nice to talk with her yesterday (without asking her out again)

 

If she doesn't reply then I won't bother asking her out on a second date !

 

Again, thanks for your reply

[Vintage79]

That's probably what I would have done - if she responds, it's probably a go.

 

Best of luck!