exotic_angel Posted June 20, 2012 Posted June 20, 2012 so the story is, we met over a year ago at a wedding, it was fantastic, we danced, we connected, he took my number and we spoke everyday for almost two weeks and went out once as friends. Soon after he got into a relationship with the woman he was dating. it was mutually accepted then that we sort of lost contact. they broke up in october and him and i started speaking again in january. Again as friends but since then we have kept in close contact, we speak to each other every day and see each other often. However, he told me that this time around he is looking for a serious committed relationship and hes taking his time as hes tired of the chase. i truly enjoy his company and considering that he opens up o me about things that are deemed to be personal i get the feeling that he does consider me as more than just a casual time filler or am i?? along with this, he sometimes speaks of a woman who he claims is just a good friend, a women who is already in a relationship. i get the feeling that he's waiting out for her. my question is, how do i recover from being too available to him??? From always taking and returning his calls, being there, going out with him, listening, advising???? i did these things out of the basis that i tort after everything he would appreciate certainty and comfort as so do i. the problem is he is not consistent, sometimes hes open and understanding and available and then hes suddenly not. I spoke to him about it and he said that hes sorry he didnt meant for it to be like that but he was busy.
truth_seeker Posted June 20, 2012 Posted June 20, 2012 Sounds like he sees you as a friend and you see him more than that.
Emilia Posted June 20, 2012 Posted June 20, 2012 This has nothing to do with your being too available. He doesn't want you more than a friend, sorry.
Author exotic_angel Posted June 20, 2012 Author Posted June 20, 2012 how should i react now then??? he's not telling me about the other women in his life so it makes me feel like i'm a relationship prospect to him. to be honest, im looking for that secret code that makes a man find the rational appeal in a woman who he spends a great amount of time with, a woman that is understanding and compromising to his needs..
curlygirl40 Posted June 20, 2012 Posted June 20, 2012 This has nothing to do with the fact that you are too available and everything to do with the fact that he sees you only as a friend. I would start dating others and not put your eggs in this basket. If he was interested in more than a friendship, he would have acted by now. He is not seeing the other girl anymore, and possibly doesn't have another relationship brewing, so he is spending more time with you but just as a friend. He's filling his time with someone he enjoys being with, but someone he's not interested in being in a relationship with. For whatever reason, he's not that into you. Date other people. There might be a slight chance that when he sees you are dating he will realize he doesn't want to lose you and may step it up, but I doubt it. If it's hard for you to just be friends with him, then you should probably distance yourself. Don't be his best friend if it hurts you to do it. Best of luck
curlygirl40 Posted June 20, 2012 Posted June 20, 2012 how should i react now then??? he's not telling me about the other women in his life so it makes me feel like i'm a relationship prospect to him. to be honest, im looking for that secret code that makes a man find the rational appeal in a woman who he spends a great amount of time with, a woman that is understanding and compromising to his needs.. Sorry after I responded I read this again and wanted to comment some more. You're not a relationship prospect to him right now or he would be taking you out on dates. Chances are VERY good he knows you like him 'in that way' and that's why he's not talking about other women around you, because he doesn't want to hurt your feelings. You're hanging around him as a friend, giving him advice, taking his calls, being nice to him, being his friend but you're hoping that one day he will wake up and realize that everything he has ever wanted is sitting right in front of him. Not likely to happen. You might think "But I would be good for him". People don't always want what's good for them. They want something else. Excitement, intrigue, passion, chemistry. He knows what you have to offer, he might not want to lose you as a friend, but yet make no mistake, he is not CHOOSING to be with you as a girlfriend. I know it sucks, been there myself. The best thing you can do for yourself is to move on.
darkmoon Posted June 20, 2012 Posted June 20, 2012 he might yet come on to you most of my male friends have me. too available? cool it for now stop discussing him and you i think he's a bit confused about what he wants date others
Author exotic_angel Posted June 20, 2012 Author Posted June 20, 2012 thanks for all the input. So there's no way of salvaging this into something more at this point?? Nothing I could do?
FitChick Posted June 20, 2012 Posted June 20, 2012 Talk about dating other guys and see how he reacts. 1
Author exotic_angel Posted June 23, 2012 Author Posted June 23, 2012 we talk alot, talk talk talk about everything. so a few days ago i was going to the movies with one of my friends. i didnt tell him about it but he realized i was getting dress to head out, when he asked i casually said i was going to the movies. we continued talking about other things and saw each other yesterday.. was normal. i realize that sometimes he doesnt tell me where he is or was when i ask and when i talk about other men he usually find some fault in their action or what they said. at this point i guess i should jus accept this as a good friendship and enjoy it for what it is and stop trying to make it into something more. Just be myself and have fun and stop trying to make this into something else. i was hoping for some sort of specific guidelines to get his attention and get his heart stirring for me.
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