phil00 Posted June 20, 2012 Posted June 20, 2012 And I'm more just frustrated at myself for letting myself go through this again. Super brief history. We met 4 years ago. She was quite a bit younger. She pursued me, but I was unsure about the age difference. But it was still hot and heavy. Throughout our 2 year relationship, things would come up about her past that would contradict what she told me. Then she started seeking attention from other guys, and thought that was ok. Near the end, I caught her in lies about other "guys", so I started kinda "watching/stalking" her actions, and I was right, but never told her I knew. She then noticed me changing, asking more questions about where she's been, then labeled me "controlling/needy". That was pretty much the end of it there. She had a quick rebound after me, then started seeing someone else exclusively for the past 2 years. Near the end, she would ask me to stop talking to her. I would, then she would come back, pretty much so we could hook up. Then in my mind, things were back to normal, then she would seek attention from other guys, I would ask her questions, and the whole cycle would happen all over again. This happened about 5 times before we broke up. It took me a long time to even think straight after that, but what I came out of it was that she was a very selfish person, just thought about her needs, etc. I took care of her, housed her for a bit, paid for everything. I helped her try to finish school so she could reach a professional level that I have, and tried to be there whenever I could. She reciprocated nothing. In fact, then only thing she brought to our relationship was her looks, charm, and sex. THis relationship scarred me, but it wasn't so much her, but it was me wondering how I let myself take so much abuse. And the moments I ever missed her was when I was going through a "dry spell" sorta speak. After the breakup, we still had some money issued to resolve so there was communication due to that. After that was resolved, I sent her a few emails until she told me to stop contacting her because she had a boyfriend. This was early last year. I don't want to say I ever was 100% over the situation, but I got to living again, formed some meaningful relationships, advanced my career, and enjoying my life again. Fast forward to a month ago. I posted about it here, so I won't repost the circumstances that let us to seeing each other again. In a nutshell, I mass texted my friends to see if someone could come get me from a bar, the text went to her, she answered and got me. She was extremely charming, and a little flirtatious, and if not for her friend that was in the car running interference (looking out for her because he knows our past), things would've happened that night.( Not real clear if she is still with the guy after me, but seeing how she used to live with him, and now lives with a gay guy and 2 other girls, who knows.) Then we have a few texts in the next few weeks. I butt dial her when I was in a bar. SHe called me back, but I didn't answer. I sent a text the following week to see that my number had been blocked on her phone. This is the first time she ever blocked my number. Even when we were going through our stuff, I wasn't blocked. I sent her 2 emails asking why I was blocked, and I finally got a response yesterday, to the tune of "I have no desire to communicate with you. We dated a long time ago. I've asked you before to stop contacting me. Please stop" And, there you have it. She has sent me this email about 5 or 6 times in the past. She always came back except for the time just before this, and that's probably because she was in an LTR. Same pattern. Charming, seemingly misses me, even tells me she'll see me the next day (which she didn't), then slowly disappears. I ask why, she responds with the same (I asked you to stop contacting me" type of email. And I don't know how I really feel about it. I mean, it's not like I lost a girlfriend. And for the past 2 years, I only spent a total of half an hour with her. If I am sad, it's because that email is bringing back all the crap I went through 2 years ago when she sent me the exact same email. Which is why I'm venting. Why am I losing sleep over this girl? What power does she have over me? Anyways, thanks for letting me vent.
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