I cant get over that he probably cheated in the begining of our relationship?

[babey]

Hello, so me and my boyfriend have been together 13 months now and he is my everything, I think about him 24/7 and im so happy when we are together and he treats me amazingly aswell, we get along like best friends and we both love each other so much, and he treats me like a princess, hugs me and wont give up finding out whats wrong until i tell him, and trying his best to make me happy. When we first got together he was on top of the world and told his friends he couldnt believe his luck and so was I. We would sit watching the stars, say sweet things to each other and he stopped going out with his friends to spend as much time as possible with me.

 

Then 3 months in my happiness was crushed, just being nosey (becouse i had no suspicions, why would I?) I found an old cell phone & looked on it & to my horror there was messages when we had been together 1 month back & forth to a woman saved as 'Katie Ew' a 34 year old mother with him saying things like 'come pick me up and we can have sex in youre car' and this was inbetween messages to me telling me he was stranded & couldnt get home. So i rang him up screaming and shouting & we met & he said he was very sorry to upset me but he was just saying it to get a ride home (even tho she didnt come) and nothing else and he was genuwinely upset and couldnt believe he'd done this to me.

 

I said i was going to stay at my mums for a few days & he begged me to stay but i didnt, the whole time i was at my mums he was contantly texting & ringing me, But then 3 days later when i went to his place I noticed 2 condoms had disapeared from his draw (We didnt use them i was on pill) & i confronted him & he said he didnt no were they were then a few weeks later i found the 2 empty wrappers behind his bed, crushed I sank straight into depression, i wouldnt eat or sleep or go out, just lie there whilst he denied cheating & said those wrappers were probably there before we met ect, I tried to go over in my head what could of happened?! Id deleted this womans number & no girls had called or texted him & he was talking to me constantly in the 3 days it could of happened and WHY would he do this to me after being so sincere???! I spoke to a couple of his friends about it & all i got was 'are you crazy? he doesnt even see us anymore becouse of you! he probably had a 'posh wank' after finding out what that was (ew) i asked him if thats what the condoms were used for and he said 'NO, they are from a long time ago' (tho i have heard him talking about masterbating into socks)

 

I think all the time & he doesnt even no how depresed i am cos i act so happy with him but inside i am hurting so badly, when weve had arguments I mention the texts & he says 'that was nearly a year ago let it go please' but i dont mention the condoms, please help? i dont no what to do, im driving myself mental

 

I am 19 and he is 21 (Oh and i have also contacted the possible woman asking for her to tell me the truth but no reply yet)

 

Oh and he had never met this women before the texts and still he says he never has

Edited June 20, 2012 by babey

[veggirl]

yes all signs point to him cheating on you.

 

Offering sex in exchange for a car ride, but wasn't gonna go through with it. Please. Don't be naive. The missing condoms, the wrappers you found...strike 2 and 3, he's out. Dump him, you are WAY too young to be settling for someone like this. You are towing a dangerous line here, stay with him and set the precedent for all your future relationships I'm afraid.

[BetrayedH]

My opinion...his excuse is complete crap and you are way too young for this sh*t. You're not married and haven't got kids with this guy. Find a guy that wouldn't send such ridiculous texts to some other woman and tell stupid lies about it. C ya.

[Leigh 87]

One month in is too long to be saying that sort of sh*t to girls... Even if he was joking.

 

When my boyfriend and I started seeing each other, I wanted to keep it casual, and insisted he see other people if he wanted, before he knew for sure he wanted to settle down with or or become serious. I was stillt alking to other guys, until I knew if I wanted to be serious too....

 

He tried kissing a girl once, but felt sad, and left. That was a week after we first met ( we met online).

I was also guilty of continuing to talk to, and even meet, guys online. And sleeping in the same bed as male " friends" , along with other dubious behavior....

Neither of us admitted this until months down the track, because we made a mistake and did not want to risk losing one another over something that happened before we even knew each other.

We told the truth in the end, most importantly, and did not lie or water it down.

 

 

..I would not tolerate any uncertantly like this, if it was a month after you met - a month is enough to know if you see each at least two days a week, if you are serious about getting to know each other better.....

 

I might have a period or gain weight and have an off week.. but a month is enough for me to paint an accurate enough picture of me, for a guy to know if he stll wants to get with other girls...Or even flirt with them.

 

 

ONE THING - I was guilty of saying sexual things to men, even when we were serious, to this ONE guy I had previously hooked up with....

WE texted and fb messaged, and he said thiings like " hey what are you up to, want the company of a sexy man?"

He also called me gorgeous, beautiful, etc...

 

My boyfriend saw the messages after a few months, about 3 - 4months, and was rightly very hurt - I never did anything with the other guy or even THOUGHT about cheating, yet the fact I did not flat out refuse to talk to a guy I had previously hooked up with was already WRONG.

I know now. I was inexperienced in relationships, my bf is my first, therefore I was genuinely sorry and inoccent of wanting to try anything with any other guy...

 

Your boyfriend MAY be innocent, but ... I do not mean to sound bad, but I think I am an exception! Most people when they act shady, actually ARE.