StellaA Posted June 20, 2012 Posted June 20, 2012 It has been approx 7 weeks since I last spoke with my ex. We split up about a year ago, got back together but it didn't work out, there were still too many issues. It has been a tough year and the lowest I have ever been but Im slowly starting to build myself up again with time. I miss him, of course, I was with him for 6 years, friends for 4 years before this. Some days I feel like I really miss him but is it him or the relationship I miss?
iambookworm Posted June 20, 2012 Posted June 20, 2012 Both. I miss him. I miss his laughter, his smile, his intelligence, his jokes, his kisses, his stories. I miss the cute short but sweet messages he sends. But I think, I just got used to doing these things. Habit. Now, I need to move on and change my habits.
no_more_tries Posted June 20, 2012 Posted June 20, 2012 This is a good question. For me, I miss the person I THOUGHT they were. As time passes, I don't think I really miss the relationship. It was very one-sided, and in retrospect, emotionally abusive. I sometimes think I miss the person, but when I'm honest, I only knew a facade. I miss me, though. 2
Winning Posted June 20, 2012 Posted June 20, 2012 I miss me, too. I miss the happy me I was before I met him. I want that me back. I wish I'd never even met him. 2
edwards99 Posted June 20, 2012 Posted June 20, 2012 i miss everything every minute of every day...everything.
RogerWallace111 Posted June 20, 2012 Posted June 20, 2012 Both for me, but I think I may grieve the loss of the general relationship/bond more. Especially being as my ex was my first real love and i don't have any priors to help reassure me of the potential for it to happen again (though obviously there is tons, sometimes logic can't assuage heartache). I know there are equally sweet, caring, beautiful girls out there- I just hadn't loved/needed and had one love/need me back so deeply before. And in hindsight it seems like heaven. But since I know I can/will find equal or greater happiness with other girls more compatible with me (as far as life goals/timing), I suppose it's the relationship I miss more ? But then again who knows, i ****ing miss the **** out of her, in a way I'd never known possible. Haaaa, oh well.
RogerWallace111 Posted June 20, 2012 Posted June 20, 2012 I think it's harder to differentiate between the two than people often simplify it to seem. I remember trying to tell myself - it's just losing the comfort of her and the habit I'd formed that's killing me - she's just some girl... And friends, etc reinforcing that. But that can never be fully the case i don't think. Unless youre just the very needy type who needs that to lean on and one relationship is truly just as good as another.
Coffee20 Posted June 20, 2012 Posted June 20, 2012 it would be a surprise for him but I miss HIM, I mean the real him, he has a few personalities inside, but I miss the one he was so ashamed of, because this one was real and the best, pity that he hates himself that much
Mr Scorpio Posted June 20, 2012 Posted June 20, 2012 I miss both. I miss her laugh and her smile. I miss her intelligence and passion for her work. I miss her personality. I also miss being part of a "team". I miss knowing that someone had my back emotionally. I miss knowing that I "would" never be alone because I could almost always hang out with my best friend. And of course, the sex.
Jose11 Posted June 20, 2012 Posted June 20, 2012 I agree with Mr. Scorpio. i miss both I miss the funny interesting conversations we would have. The fact that we were open enough to talk about everything. I miss her funny personallty. How she would show she cared for me just by listening and wanting to be with me. I miss knowing that we had each other's back. Us against the world. and yeah i miss the sex.
RogerWallace111 Posted June 20, 2012 Posted June 20, 2012 yeah... i also really miss her having my back and the shelter it provided me when all else seemed ****ed. and me having her back. a lot. never before her did i know the part of myself that could take care of and protect another (emotionally & physically) with such strength and certain loyalty. I miss that part of me. the part that would gladly kick anothers/get my ass kicked to keep her safe. the part that would hold her head against my chest and listen/talk to her as long as it took to take her out of her darkest moments. and yeah, scorp, i also miss feeling like i "would" never be alone, because she was such a consistently steadfast friend, and always made me such a priority to her. As much as I miss the sex, that longing is dwarfed by the pain of losing the rest. as much as i've learned to accept it, it really hurts at times.
Quickfast Posted June 22, 2012 Posted June 22, 2012 I miss the comfort of knowing I was loved. I miss the person I became when we were together.
xpaperxcutx Posted June 22, 2012 Posted June 22, 2012 I miss the relationship more than I do him. He never tred and I was tiredof giving.
Author StellaA Posted June 22, 2012 Author Posted June 22, 2012 I miss his smile, his cuddles and he would listen to me BUT he the down sides outweighed this. I want a home, a child, someone who can support me in that and he couldn't. I miss him but knew the relationship was never going to give me what I wanted, so perhaps now I miss the dreams I built with him in them. It's weird to try and picture someone else being the father of your child, that's if I meet someone again
lovinglife21 Posted June 22, 2012 Posted June 22, 2012 Neither. I was unhappy. Sometimes I miss his penis (it was lovely). Then I realise it's just a penis and there are plenty more It only still hurts because of the utter rejection, the realisation that what he did to be was despicable, and that I had no idea how unhappy I was. The break up set me free. xx
DuchessKaye Posted June 22, 2012 Posted June 22, 2012 I miss both. I miss the idea and the comfort of being in a relationship with the person I love.
Eternal Sunshine Posted June 22, 2012 Posted June 22, 2012 I miss being in a relationship, the company, regular sex. I don't miss him at all.
SerCay Posted June 24, 2012 Posted June 24, 2012 I definitely miss him. Our humor, cooking, shared interests, our friendship.. A relationship I can start with any person just to be in a relationship..but there's only 1 him
january2011 Posted June 24, 2012 Posted June 24, 2012 I found that it was not him or the relationship but the dreams that we had and the plans that we'd made that I missed the most. When I was 'over' my ex and accepted my singlehood, I realised that I could have/make my own dreams and plans. And that being single again did not mean that I couldn't have a fulfilling and bright future. Since meeting my current SO, some of those dreams and plans have changed a little but some still remain.
Ang.gg Posted June 24, 2012 Posted June 24, 2012 I don't miss him. I miss the first half of our relationship not the last half. It was then I slowly started to realize who he really was.
M30USA Posted June 24, 2012 Posted June 24, 2012 I'm still sorting out the answer to that. We did have many good times. She is a pretty girl with a good sense of humor. The overriding factor was her abusive tendencies. (She assaulted me and was taken to jail.) What made it even worse was she accused me of the very things she was blatantly doing herself. So as much as I love her (still do), I can't handle being with her. She is like an exploding firecracker and causes me much turmoil.
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