Notforever Posted June 20, 2012 Posted June 20, 2012 The manual I wish I would have read two months ago! Not saying to listen to everything- pick and choose what might work for your situation:) Whether you're wanting to get back together or move on this miiiight help! First off: -When you find his/her things lying around put them in a basket in the closet. (I had to sleep in my ex's bed for weeks before he finally picked it up so I could replace it with mine eek) -delete your text history, know that he probably has them saved as well but deleting them will allow you to not fret about picking up your phone and seeing sweet messages. You don't want to reread all your cute texts. -block them on Facebook- you do not want to be tempted, and it will give you time to reconsider. -clean up! It will rejuvenate you! And make you find things that need to be put away. You'll feel fresher. -do something for you! Get your nails done, hair done (nothing drastic!), or bungee jump! Something that makes you feel good. -DO NOT find reasons to contact them. Wait. -if you're going to see them, be as friendly as possible but surfis level, even les of you can help it. Let them be curious about you. -realize that your true soul mate would never put you through pain like like that or leave you. -realize that everything really does happen for a reason. An unanswered prayer is one of gods greatest gifts. -REALLY discover yourself, make this time worthwhile! Even if you want to get back, live your life! You will in the end be much more appealing. Don't do anything with them in mind, do what makes you happy. I'll add as I think of what helped me, just trying to remind people that it will get better and easier! It's been two months and this week I am genuinely happy:) 2
skyisfalling Posted June 20, 2012 Posted June 20, 2012 this is such a great post!! Today is NC day 11 and Ive found it helpful to keep busy! There are times of sadness but I feel it and let it pass. I just got back from working out and I know that I can overcome this- i dont wanna feel miserable any longer. Lets do this together LS, let's kick our exes to the curb! 2
AlexanderJames Posted June 20, 2012 Posted June 20, 2012 Aw, you managed to post one with 8 million less words than me, how do you do it? >< lol. It's a great guide, pretty much everything I did to move on is right here. We've both taken the same actions and we both made heaps of progress. We must be doing something right
iambookworm Posted June 20, 2012 Posted June 20, 2012 Thanks everyone. I like going through this site, as this is a good support group.
Author Notforever Posted June 20, 2012 Author Posted June 20, 2012 Thank you guys for being so sweet:) Writing things like this help me feel better and it's something to look back on in case it happens again, but next time I'll be better prepared! Keeping busy is definitely something to add, I like have like 5 minutes of wallowing and then be busy, I dont want to ignore any feelings because I know I need to confront them in order to move on. Another thing I read that was helpful- of you're thinking about calling or texting wait 30 minutes. That will give you time to watch an episode of How I Met Your Mother, and re think it! Thank guys:) Im going to keep copying you Alexander(:
AlexanderJames Posted June 21, 2012 Posted June 21, 2012 Helping people by understanding their position takes your mind off of your own situation, and it helps others at the same time. Very rewarding I like the how I met your mother idea, its clever, and I love the show haha. I feel like Ted sometimes >< Hahaha. You've got it all under control. I was going to suggest allowing yourself to wallow and feel sad but only letting yourself do it for 5 - 10 minutes and no more. Same for talking with friends about it. Tell your mates that you only want to make them listen for 5 - 10 minutes then to change subject and move on. It lets you release pent up stress and thought without obsessing. BUT you beat me to it. Keep up the good work
Author Notforever Posted June 21, 2012 Author Posted June 21, 2012 Alexanderjames- Of course I beat you, silly! I want the Lilly/Marshall thing so watching it makes me realize my ex is hopeless! I'm hoping I have it somewhat under control! And you're right sometimes I worry that I don't want to wallow with my friends or keep talking about it- sometimes I feel like I could go on for ages!
AlexanderJames Posted June 21, 2012 Posted June 21, 2012 (edited) Shh I'm not slow Yes the Lilly marshall thing would be pretty good. But I'm still young, I think Im still younger than they were in the show when they met? haha. Sounds to me like your doing just fine. And yes I was the same, I got worried about annoying them thats why I made sure they only let me moan for a time limit heh. You should read up on my most recent thread! My ex lashed out last night, I had a challenging night But it worked out in my favour so yay. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/331927-alexanders-latest-challenge-ncs-apparent-impact-his-ex There ya go Edited June 21, 2012 by AlexanderJames
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