jobaba Posted June 20, 2012 Share Posted June 20, 2012 I don't know if it would "stop" someone from forming relationships with others or not. I mean for me this is the kind of relationship I'd want. Just sort of hanging out and not much else so it's not like I'd be seeking out other relationships. "Surrogate girlfriend" isn't really my term either, just one I borrowed from another poster. If someone has a better term feel free to mention it. 'Surrogate girlfriend' implies that although the woman only sees friendship, you are 'using' her to get several of the benefits of a GF, such as being seen in public with an attractive woman and having somebody to go to fancy restaurants with. I use the word 'using' in a non-deragatory manner here because everybody uses everybody to some extent. Of course, for me, I wasn't really using them. It just felt good to be out with a woman one on one at times. And I didn't fall for all of them. Some are still just friends. Although I won't lie. I did want to sleep with every single one of them. Link to post Share on other sites
Author fortyninethousand322 Posted June 20, 2012 Author Share Posted June 20, 2012 Of course, for me, I wasn't really using them. It just felt good to be out with a woman one on one at times. And I didn't fall for all of them. Some are still just friends. Yeah this is what I mean. It just feels nice to hang out or socialize one on one with a woman doing date-like activities. Unfortunately I haven't really met any women who are interested in such a setup. Obviously I don't come out and explain the arrangement, but very few women want to do anything with me like that. So I don't know. Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted June 20, 2012 Share Posted June 20, 2012 Yeah this is what I mean. It just feels nice to hang out or socialize one on one with a woman doing date-like activities. Unfortunately I haven't really met any women who are interested in such a setup. Obviously I don't come out and explain the arrangement, but very few women want to do anything with me like that. So I don't know. You don't approach it as that kind of thing. It really is just making friends and inviting them to spend time with you. Of course it helps to come of as sexually neutral so they don't think that you'd want to be anything more than friends with them. That's something I've become pretty good at............... Link to post Share on other sites
Author fortyninethousand322 Posted June 20, 2012 Author Share Posted June 20, 2012 You don't approach it as that kind of thing. It really is just making friends and inviting them to spend time with you. Of course it helps to come of as sexually neutral so they don't think that you'd want to be anything more than friends with them. That's something I've become pretty good at............... That's the problem. Whenever I invite a girl somewhere to hang or get a bite to eat, etc. almost always they find an excuse not to go. These aren't total strangers either. This is part of the reason I've concluded that I creep women out. Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted June 20, 2012 Share Posted June 20, 2012 That's the problem. Whenever I invite a girl somewhere to hang or get a bite to eat, etc. almost always they find an excuse not to go. These aren't total strangers either. This is part of the reason I've concluded that I creep women out. My guess is that you haven't built up enough rapport with them and they feel uncomfortable with you. They may also not consider you as "safe" so they don't think it would be possible to spend time with you in a platonic setting. And believe me, that's not a bad thing. You don't want a girl to think you are harmless. Link to post Share on other sites
jobaba Posted June 20, 2012 Share Posted June 20, 2012 That's the problem. Whenever I invite a girl somewhere to hang or get a bite to eat, etc. almost always they find an excuse not to go. These aren't total strangers either. This is part of the reason I've concluded that I creep women out. I don't think so. Most women won't spend a lot of time one on one with men they have no attraction to. Not only does it lead the men on, it wastes time that could be spent chasing after hot studs... So, it's relatively rare. It takes a woman with a certain kind of personality who is in a certain situation in her life. Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted June 20, 2012 Share Posted June 20, 2012 Isn't this what gay men who are still in the closet do? Link to post Share on other sites
Princess71 Posted June 20, 2012 Share Posted June 20, 2012 Isn't this what gay men who are still in the closet do? Good point!! I would imagine it's an ideal situation for a guy still in the closet. It gives the appearance of having a girlfriend. Link to post Share on other sites
Author fortyninethousand322 Posted June 20, 2012 Author Share Posted June 20, 2012 Isn't this what gay men who are still in the closet do? I suppose it is. I'm not in the closet though if that's what you're getting at. Link to post Share on other sites
Princess71 Posted June 21, 2012 Share Posted June 21, 2012 I suppose it is. I'm not in the closet though if that's what you're getting at. No, I wasn't getting at that. Lol Link to post Share on other sites
joystickd Posted June 21, 2012 Share Posted June 21, 2012 In another thread, I expressed a desire for a situation another poster referred to as a "surrogate girlfriend". This is a situation in which you are "seeing" a girl socially (dinner, movies, ball games, etc.) but not technically dating. Other people may or may not think you're a couple, but from the woman's point of view the situation is totally platonic. Assuming this is what both parties actually want (socializing, no sex with each other ever, etc.) is there any harm? Or is it inevitable that signals would get crossed or feelings hurt? Lastly, how does one actually get into one of these "relationships"? I can't do that. I got to have sex at some point. Link to post Share on other sites
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