truth_seeker Posted June 20, 2012 Posted June 20, 2012 Why date an 18 year-old if you are looking for a mature partner? Sounds petty dumb to me. He has a good thing going. Young, hot, impressionable girl to have fun with but her friends see this and are trying to ruin it for him. I can see why he is angry. What we don't know are the friends reasons for this. Are they doing it to protect her or doing it out of jealousy? 1
january2011 Posted June 20, 2012 Posted June 20, 2012 From experience, I think it's normal to feel defensive when your partner shares details of your relationship with someone who is not supportive of that relationship. It can also seem like a betrayal of sorts. I agree with zengirl that your girlfriend may be looking for validation. However, it sounds like she's not going to get it. You may have to accept that this is the price of entry for dating this girl and a source of potential conflict.
RedRobin Posted June 20, 2012 Posted June 20, 2012 If I remember right, she's a teenager and you're quite a bit older. I'd say that her friends are trying to protect her from what they see as an unhealthy relationship. I hope she listens to them. She needs time to grow up before dating someone so much older and, sorry, but you do sound controlling. yes, and sometimes (not always) friends have insight and the best interests of their friends at heart. My perception of the OP is that this 'thing' is all about him and his needs. Whether she got that insight from friends or through a personal conversation with her own self in the deep dark night... the observation is the same. Move along OP.
RedRobin Posted June 20, 2012 Posted June 20, 2012 He has a good thing going. Young, hot, impressionable girl to have fun with but her friends see this and are trying to ruin it for him. I can see why he is angry. What we don't know are the friends reasons for this. Are they doing it to protect her or doing it out of jealousy? oh please. What's to be jealous of, seriously? Except other older guys who wanna get with teenagers. Give me a break. Her friends are clueing her in. Sure, the OP is angry. Looks like he's gotta find another naive youngster to have 'fun' with. Aww, shucks.
serial muse Posted June 20, 2012 Posted June 20, 2012 He has a good thing going. Young, hot, impressionable girl to have fun with but her friends see this and are trying to ruin it for him. I can see why he is angry. What we don't know are the friends reasons for this. Are they doing it to protect her or doing it out of jealousy? So "impressionable" is a positive trait -- but only if the OP is the one with the influence, rather than her friends? Sometimes in life, you just can't have things both ways. 3
MrNate 2.0 Posted June 20, 2012 Posted June 20, 2012 Is this the Target girl you kicked out of your house because she said she could cook, and when you asked her to cook you Rice-A-Roni, she didn't? wtf?? hahaha. This might be built up tension from this previous interaction.
snug.bunny Posted June 20, 2012 Posted June 20, 2012 wtf?? hahaha. This might be built up tension from this previous interaction. Oops. (lol) That was the last thread I remember reading, that's why I asked.
dizy Posted June 21, 2012 Posted June 21, 2012 its funny how people think that just because she listened to her friends' advice, that she doesn't have her own opinion, that she needs people to dictate her etc. I don't know what you were told. but I have always been told that taking positive criticisms and advices are tough and usually people can't do that. Obviously there are some teenagers out there who care way too much about their social image and what their friends would think if they date this "lame" guy. But Other MATURE women perfectly capable of making decisions also want advices and opinions. its actually hard for people blinded by love to listen to what others who might see more clear have to say. and personally, I wouldn't date someone who couldn't get along with my family or best friend because we have so much in common.
Author Shaun-Dro Posted June 21, 2012 Author Posted June 21, 2012 You sound creepy and controlling. Her friend was right, good for her for listening to her friend. Oh please. If I was so creepy she wouldn't had been with me from the get so get a clue! These other people are just jealous. Like I said, they would not like it if I butted into their daily lives.
Easyguy14 Posted June 21, 2012 Posted June 21, 2012 If I remember right, she's a teenager and you're quite a bit older. I'd say that her friends are trying to protect her from what they see as an unhealthy relationship. I hope she listens to them. She needs time to grow up before dating someone so much older and, sorry, but you do sound controlling. thats the op's business who he wants to date. as long as its legal its none of your or anyone else's business to be perfectly honest. it does seem the more women are always looking to their friends for approval of what kinds of men they should date. thats just wrong wrong wrong.
Author Shaun-Dro Posted June 21, 2012 Author Posted June 21, 2012 Friends usually have a person's best interests at heart, if they're a true friend that is, so it's pretty normal for them to express their opinion about a guy their friend is dating. I do that with my friends and relatives as well. It's pretty normal, and people usually want to get feedback from their friends on the guy the person is dating. Nothing wrong with that. It helps to get second opinions on a guy, because sometimes the person doesn't see things that should be red flags or concerns because they are too close to the situation or too clouded to really see things clearly. There must be something about you that is a concern for these friends. If you are much older than your gf, I'd say the friends are right for expressing their concern about this. No, that's where you're wrong, my dear. Her friends have no right to judge me when they never even met me. They're basing their naive opinions of me on photos of us together, which was a silly move on the behalf of my girlfriend to have distributed them. If these so-called friends had at least met me once, then I can say, okay, at least they had a chance to form coating of judgment, but this hasn't happened. Everything has been superficial and I'm dead against it. My age shouldn't be the issue here because my girlfriend is a full consenting adult. And to another poster about dating women closer to me in maturity isn't even an issue because I come to realize that women of all ages do this old silly thing when it comes to dating men. They always look for reasons to rock the boat. After this girl, I'm done even considering dating. I'll just do the pump and dump scenarios from now on.
Meeks7 Posted June 21, 2012 Posted June 21, 2012 First thing's first: instead of worrying about what others are doing, just focus on being the best you. As long as you do the best, you can retain dignity regardless of how unfavorable situations may become in a storm. No, that's where you're wrong, my dear. Her friends have no right to judge me when they never even met me. They're basing their naive opinions of me on photos of us together, which was a silly move on the behalf of my girlfriend to have distributed them. If these so-called friends had at least met me once, then I can say, okay, at least they had a chance to form coating of judgment, but this hasn't happened. Everything has been superficial and I'm dead against it. My age shouldn't be the issue here because my girlfriend is a full consenting adult. If this is truly the case then take solace that your GF doesn't sound like a catch at all.... could be a blessing in disguise in fact, in all honesty...
Cracker Jack Posted June 21, 2012 Posted June 21, 2012 (edited) Nevermind. Not going to even bother. Edited June 21, 2012 by Cracker Jack
d'Arthez Posted June 21, 2012 Posted June 21, 2012 If these so-called friends had at least met me once, then I can say, okay, at least they had a chance to form coating of judgment, but this hasn't happened. Everything has been superficial and I'm dead against it. My age shouldn't be the issue here because my girlfriend is a full consenting adult. Yet her age is an issue for you. In fact you defined your relationship as being superficial. So why would you expect her to act as if she was an enlightened woman who knew what she wanted in life? If she really knew what she wanted, chances are that she would not even be spending time with you to begin with. If you mess with emotionally immature people, do not expect mature responses from them. It is as simple as that.
RedRobin Posted June 21, 2012 Posted June 21, 2012 OP, this is a classic case of the young, naive woman becoming not-so-naive anymore. Since this is a dynamic you cherish so much, you will have to learn to read the signs and be ok walking when a woman decides to develop her own personality and begin to demonstrate she has needs of her own. Or just pump and dump. Sounds like a reasonable plan for a man who refuses to grow up emotionally.
Author Shaun-Dro Posted June 21, 2012 Author Posted June 21, 2012 OP, this is a classic case of the young, naive woman becoming not-so-naive anymore. Since this is a dynamic you cherish so much, you will have to learn to read the signs and be ok walking when a woman decides to develop her own personality and begin to demonstrate she has needs of her own. Or just pump and dump. Sounds like a reasonable plan for a man who refuses to grow up emotionally. It's not about refusing to grow up emotionally. It's about women refusing to act correct and be correct. I've only until recently been like this since the majority of women I come across are all pretty much the same, aside some small differences in personalities. They all wound up playing games and doing silly things to mess it up. It's in ya'll nature. This same issue would've happened even if I were with a woman my age, because I been there done that multiple times already. If anything, these women closer to my age are worse because of past problems and then it's thrust upon the next man they meet. It's the same vicious cycle. So I figured why bother with a woman around my age, who most likely is going to have kids, a serious chip on her shoulder, and on the decline in the looks department, not to mention looking for reasons to rock the boat, when I can just get the same thing with a younger girl, who's looks aren't on the decline and doesn't have kids. It's the lesser of two evils.
RedRobin Posted June 21, 2012 Posted June 21, 2012 It's not about refusing to grow up emotionally. It's about women refusing to act correct and be correct. I've only until recently been like this since the majority of women I come across are all pretty much the same, aside some small differences in personalities. Sounds like the problem is with you though, if this is what you keep coming across. Your biggest issue is expecting women to give you what you won't give them.. then you come here and complain about it. You come across as selfish and superficial. That's fine. You choose women who haven't learned to screen for that yet. High fives to you. However, even teenagers figure it out eventually when they are being used. That's how it goes. Sounds like the jig is up on this one. Time for you to move along and find another sucker, me-thinks.
Jane2011 Posted June 21, 2012 Posted June 21, 2012 Be careful. A guy friend of mine dated a 19 year old girl who was 14 years his junior (he was 33 at the time). It all looked good on the surface for about eight months, but he confessed to me later that she verbally abused him most of their time together. She called him a pedophile for dating her (it was her way of teasing him, but that's downright cold to say to one's boyfriend), told him he was "awkward" and "weird," etc, and, furthermore, never wanted to hang with his friends because they were "too old." He didn't mind any of this, apparently, because she was such a hottie. I wouldn't date an 18 or 19 year old if I were a guy in my mid 30s. I can understand that some of y'all want younger, but think 24, 25...not 18 or 19.
Peanut9330 Posted June 21, 2012 Posted June 21, 2012 I as a woman never really listen to my friends when they give me advice about my relationship. Also on the other hand I don’t give out such advice and here is why. No matter how much you tell your friends about your relationship they will never be able to truly understand the depth and feeling the couple feels toward one another. When I get in a fight with my SO and I want to vent sometimes I turn to a friend. However I’m not looking for her opinion or commentary about how my man is "like this or that" I just need to vent and want someone to listen. I do the same in return for my friends when they vent I just listen I don’t judge or make any comments. I feel the a relationship between two people is very complex and no one from the outside can ever look in and truly understand what is going on there. You should talk to her and stress that this is a relationship between you and her not between you her and her friends. 2
sally4sara Posted June 21, 2012 Posted June 21, 2012 Kinda hard for them to get to know you before trash talking you. There isn't much socializing with each others friends when you don't consider it a relationship and how did you put it? You're just having fun and screwing? Something along those lines. So her friends are left judging you by the information she gives them and boy howdy! it doesn't sound like you've given her much to proudly crow about if the information she gives them has them telling her to drop you or that she could do better. And you say this happens all the time? Seems no woman or girl who goes out with you has a nice thing to say about you to anyone and eventually wants more space away from you. But they are the ones who can't act correct? God damn! you really sound like a bag of suck! Any guesses as to how you ended up being this way?
Author Shaun-Dro Posted June 21, 2012 Author Posted June 21, 2012 Sounds like the problem is with you though, if this is what you keep coming across. Your biggest issue is expecting women to give you what you won't give them.. then you come here and complain about it. You come across as selfish and superficial. That's fine. You choose women who haven't learned to screen for that yet. High fives to you. However, even teenagers figure it out eventually when they are being used. That's how it goes. Sounds like the jig is up on this one. Time for you to move along and find another sucker, me-thinks. Typical feminist responses because you don't know what you're talking of. If you were to simply ask me what I do for women in relationships, you'd know to keep your mouth shut.
RedRobin Posted June 21, 2012 Posted June 21, 2012 Typical feminist responses because you don't know what you're talking of. If you were to simply ask me what I do for women in relationships, you'd know to keep your mouth shut. Do tell. Because everything you post here is about how accomodating and no pressure she is. Looks like a one-way street to me. But with men like you, women aren't supposed to have needs. When they do, they are called 'feminists'. Whatever. Doesn't bother me at all. I keep telling you this 'well' has run dry, buddy, but you won't listen. Time to tap some other teenager for your fun since self-awareness is not a goal of yours. 1
Imajerk17 Posted June 21, 2012 Posted June 21, 2012 (edited) Dooood. Your rant is nuts on a couple of levels. (1) Getting upset that an 18-year-old girl puts so much stock in what her friends think is like getting upset that babies cry, toddlers have tantrums, or that 14-year-old girls are "overly" emotional at times. It is what it is, and that is how it is for like 99.9% of girls that age. What were you expecting her to have the maturity of a mature 30-year-old woman? That's just crazy! (2) Getting upset that women aren't giving you what you want in general is like Nice Guys complaining that women don't like them. At some point you have to look in the mirror instead. Edited June 21, 2012 by Imajerk17 5
Mme. Chaucer Posted June 21, 2012 Posted June 21, 2012 It's about women refusing to act correct and be correct. I literally cracked up when I read this. You reek of fear, Shaun-dro. Fear of the unknown. Women. You wouldn't have a clue about "correct" in any of its forms if it bit you in the ass. You are so clueless, yet arrogant, it's depressing. Yet, funny. 3
Author Shaun-Dro Posted June 21, 2012 Author Posted June 21, 2012 (edited) Dooood. Your rant is nuts on a couple of levels. (1) Getting upset that an 18-year-old girl puts so much stock in what her friends think is like getting upset that babies cry, toddlers have tantrums, or that 14-year-old girls are "overly" emotional at times. It is what it is, and that is how it is for like 99.9% of girls that age. What were you expecting her to have the maturity of a mature 30-year-old woman? That's just crazy! (2) Getting upset that women aren't giving you what you want in general is like Nice Guys complaining that women don't like them. At some point you have to look in the mirror instead. I'm surprised that a fellow male would fail to correctly review what I had written about women in my age bracket. And yet you come at me as if you know any better. Edited June 21, 2012 by Shaun-Dro missed a word
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