rejection

[Necromancer]

what is the norm, is it normal to get rejeted 20+ in a row? How does it go for most people?

[ThaWholigan]

what is the norm, is it normal to get rejeted 20+ in a row? How does it go for most people?

We're talking straight up, balls out cold approach??

 

Yeah, 20+ rejections is normal - especially if you weren't good at it before. I'm still not good at it .

[Necromancer]

We're talking straight up, balls out cold approach??

 

Yeah, 20+ rejections is normal - especially if you weren't good at it before. I'm still not good at it .

Ye and just if people in general are getting allot of rejections.

 

Rejections, can be hilarious at times, when you don't care of the out come.

[ThaWholigan]

Ye and just if people in general are getting allot of rejections.

 

Rejections, can be hilarious at times, when you don't care of the out come.

Exactly.

 

I used to play the PUA games sometimes:

 

I would give my friend 50 pounds, and for every 2 girls I talked to, he would give me back 10 pounds of my money. The other one was the rejection game: first to 10 rejections wins.

[KathyM]

The problem with cold approaches is that many of those you approach will already be in relationships, and therefore not interested. That's why I think OLD or singles events or being introduced by mutual acquaintances is more likely to be successful. But just to give you some comparison point, I recently read about a famous psychologist, Albert Ellis I think his name was, who as a psychology student, wanted to get over his social phobia in approaching women, so he decided to spend one entire day approaching women who were by themselves. He managed to approach 100 women, and was rejected by all 100 of them. You would think that would have discouraged him, but it actually made him lose his fear of approaching women after so many attempts. So my point is, it doesn't hurt to try the cold approach, it gives you practice, but don't have too high of expectations for that method, since many of those women will be unavailable. It's best to try methods where you know people are single and available.

[ThaWholigan]

The problem with cold approaches is that many of those you approach will already be in relationships, and therefore not interested. That's why I think OLD or singles events or being introduced by mutual acquaintances is more likely to be successful. But just to give you some comparison point, I recently read about a famous psychologist, Albert Ellis I think his name was, who as a psychology student, wanted to get over his social phobia in approaching women, so he decided to spend one entire day approaching women who were by themselves. He managed to approach 100 women, and was rejected by all 100 of them. You would think that would have discouraged him, but it actually made him lose his fear of approaching women after so many attempts. So my point is, it doesn't hurt to try the cold approach, it gives you practice, but don't have too high of expectations for that method, since many of those women will be unavailable. It's best to try methods where you know people are single and available.

It's mainly to desensitize the anxious sensation of talking to women. I find it much easier now talking to girls than I ever did.

[Ninjainpajamas]

If cold approaches for you aren't working, then you need to at least find situations where you can ease yourself in without coming off so forward to these women.

 

Basically, If you get rejected to 20 times in a row you're doing something wrong. Whether it's in your body language, the things you say, the ways you look like a weirdo without realizing it..or whatever reason...I know a lot of guys like to say It's because you're not good looking enough.

 

So If you're not good looking enough, then maybe try to find other ways to talk to women and get to know them first. If that's not feasible or realistic at least talk to women in a setting that is more laid-back and sociable...where you might expect someone to come up and talk to you randomly or be friendly....and try to tone down the "hey baby...I'm single right now but depending on the next few days...I might not be ::wink wink:: catch my drift sweet cheeks?" Ok I may be exaggerating a bit but I find it confusing to figure out why If one thing fails then just keep trying, you've got try something different? and if that doesn't work then you try something else.

 

Maybe there's a disconnect here...since guys like Singledude I think his name is always shoots down any kind of advice as being useful, even though he's an average looking guy and others state that as well when they have difficulty...so what is the real problem here?

 

When I go outside I don't see only good looking women walking around, I see mostly average looking women more or less, women who'd probably like to have a boyfriend, and women who are open to men with other qualities other than looks. So let's say even If all these women wanted good-looking men, or really good looking men I'm not too sure that's the case because for one there's not really enough to go around and they're probably not all that enthusiastic about hitting on average women.

 

So what's the X factor here? What would guys who say they have difficulty with women blame their low success rate on other than their looks? and could those things be changed to improve the odds?

[ThaWholigan]

If cold approaches for you aren't working, then you need to at least find situations where you can ease yourself in without coming off so forward to these women.

 

Basically, If you get rejected to 20 times in a row you're doing something wrong. Whether it's in your body language, the things you say, the ways you look like a weirdo without realizing it..or whatever reason...I know a lot of guys like to say It's because you're not good looking enough.

 

So If you're not good looking enough, then maybe try to find other ways to talk to women and get to know them first. If that's not feasible or realistic at least talk to women in a setting that is more laid-back and sociable...where you might expect someone to come up and talk to you randomly or be friendly....and try to tone down the "hey baby...I'm single right now but depending on the next few days...I might not be ::wink wink:: catch my drift sweet cheeks?" Ok I may be exaggerating a bit but I find it confusing to figure out why If one thing fails then just keep trying, you've got try something different? and if that doesn't work then you try something else.

 

Maybe there's a disconnect here...since guys like Singledude I think his name is always shoots down any kind of advice as being useful, even though he's an average looking guy and others state that as well when they have difficulty...so what is the real problem here?

 

When I go outside I don't see only good looking women walking around, I see mostly average looking women more or less, women who'd probably like to have a boyfriend, and women who are open to men with other qualities other than looks. So let's say even If all these women wanted good-looking men, or really good looking men I'm not too sure that's the case because for one there's not really enough to go around and they're probably not all that enthusiastic about hitting on average women.

 

So what's the X factor here? What would guys who say they have difficulty with women blame their low success rate on other than their looks? and could those things be changed to improve the odds?

I have earmarked every disadvantage I have that impacts my dating life (and life in general really) and proceeded to tackle each of them systematically:

 

1) Autism/Developmental Dyspraxia - learning to read body language, learning to improve my posture, learning to understand subtle social cues to an advanced level, as well as how to use words even more effectively. Also to become acclimatised to situations that can cause overload of the senses (it happens). Especially touch. Learning to seduce.

 

2) Anxiety/Mild Social Phobia - learning to cope talking to people, learning to deal with conflicts and minimizing the fear of anxiety itself.

 

3) Being Broke - The one proving difficult to tackle at the moment, but tackling it I am. Starting a business is my current plan to fly the nest and make some money.

 

One advantage I allegedly DO have is that I'm reasonably good looking. If I reach my current fitness goals, I could become very good looking. Possibly anyway.....

[Necromancer]

If cold approaches for you aren't working, then you need to at least find situations where you can ease yourself in without coming off so forward to these women.

 

Basically, If you get rejected to 20 times in a row you're doing something wrong. Whether it's in your body language, the things you say, the ways you look like a weirdo without realizing it..or whatever reason...I know a lot of guys like to say It's because you're not good looking enough.

 

So If you're not good looking enough, then maybe try to find other ways to talk to women and get to know them first. If that's not feasible or realistic at least talk to women in a setting that is more laid-back and sociable...where you might expect someone to come up and talk to you randomly or be friendly....and try to tone down the "hey baby...I'm single right now but depending on the next few days...I might not be ::wink wink:: catch my drift sweet cheeks?" Ok I may be exaggerating a bit but I find it confusing to figure out why If one thing fails then just keep trying, you've got try something different? and if that doesn't work then you try something else.

 

Maybe there's a disconnect here...since guys like Singledude I think his name is always shoots down any kind of advice as being useful, even though he's an average looking guy and others state that as well when they have difficulty...so what is the real problem here?

 

When I go outside I don't see only good looking women walking around, I see mostly average looking women more or less, women who'd probably like to have a boyfriend, and women who are open to men with other qualities other than looks. So let's say even If all these women wanted good-looking men, or really good looking men I'm not too sure that's the case because for one there's not really enough to go around and they're probably not all that enthusiastic about hitting on average women.

 

So what's the X factor here? What would guys who say they have difficulty with women blame their low success rate on other than their looks? and could those things be changed to improve the odds?

 

I have almost maxed out my appearance, I have had girls into me but its always the wrong timing 1) they have boyfriends 2) they have interest in me, but i didn´t have in them at that time they had.

 

Most girls i know are not the kind of a girl i am looking for....they are not crazy enough. I am looking for one of those girls who would go sky diving.

 

As far as i know, those girls are rare. social circle way is not going to work for me. So i have to look elsewhere.