Quest4_TheLost Posted June 19, 2012 Posted June 19, 2012 So I started this with a thread asking about this guy who seemed interested and yet didn't.. Blowing hot and cold. He would txt me but we would rarley have real convos he never asked how i was doing or what I was up to. Yet we were hanging out ALOT.. He was say things sending me mixed signals.. About loving me being my bf etc. Then he would be cold. The ppl I went to, to seek advice from agreed they couldn't make heads or tails of it but it was all odd. I then decided to read threads here and it seems alot of us are in this mixed signals fog.. Well after a few drunken txts realizing it kind of sounded like I was breaking up with him. I said I just need to chat with him. He agreed to it. But never called me he might have been expecting I would call. No I didn't txt often. No I didn't call either. No I didn't put in a whole lot of effort. But after 4 months of this on and off behavior and breaking up with him a few times. I'm done with putting in the effort and getting none back. Well I txt him and told him my problems and that basically I wanted to know his intentions and I wasn't to sure if he was really in to me romanticly. Well NO ANSWER!! That actually pissed me off more then if we would have said no!!< LOL We were really good friends we had a very strong great connection that seemed to have dipped off somewhere. Well obviously I didn't txt back. I don't know how I fell into this cycle of break up together again etc. But I'm startin to feel like we're in highschool. We would hang out as "friends" and one thing leads to another. I really did want our friendship to continue because we had a pretty great one before falling into this sleeping together scene. Which I blame myself for but I am only human. My thoughts now.. I don't know if I will hear from him again but I have definelty played this game long enough to know it isn't going to change.I really care about this guy. The thought of losing him hurts. But when its time to let go, you just have to. If someone is blowing hot and cold, they are confused don't know what they want. Maybe they have someone else and they're thinking about leaving you as the option. Maybe they have issues from they're past or present that keep them from making a real comittment. If your fine with this and it dosent bother you at all maybe your going with the flow as well and just having fun. GREAT!! But as soon as you start feeling the burn of not being happy. Knowing you want more with a person. Don't torture yourself. Don't play games, it leads no where. If they can't or won't talk to or just come back with excuses. Just get the hell out of there!! There are ppl out there that will give you their time attention and can be honest with you about their intentions.. The best advice I ever heard was .. When your dating a person with issues, its not your job to put the puzzle together or figure them out or fix them. Find someone worth your time. Lifes to short!
Eddie Edirol Posted June 19, 2012 Posted June 19, 2012 If someone is blowing hot and cold, they are confused don't know what they want. Maybe they have someone else and they're thinking about leaving you as the option. Maybe they have issues from they're past or present that keep them from making a real comittment. Had to disagree with you here, if someone blowing hot and cold, they know what they want, they just dont want you. BUT, they dont want to lose the booty call, or attention before they succeed in getting someone new. It took you a while to realize this, but now you know what to do next time someone is wishy washy with you. 1
Author Quest4_TheLost Posted June 19, 2012 Author Posted June 19, 2012 Well he was just out of an 8 yr relationship.. So he has his own issues to deal with.. But yes. That very well may be the case aswell.. I might have forgot to put that in there. Booty calls generally thats all it is.. You don't go out hang out and have fun.. I look at it more as he did like my friendship and yes the sex. I was just someone he was passing the time with. I put up with it aslong as I did because I aswell wasn't sure if I wanted a relationship with him and was ok with our situation. But as soon as I start thinking I might want more is when I have broken up with him.. He was asked by a friend to his face if we were together or fwb. He denied that we were fwb and when asking if we were together he smiled and looked at me for the answer. I said we were just friends because I wasn't willing to be vulnerable, when I myself had no clue what is going on in his head!! Its very possible because of my actions and not putting in the effort gave him cold feet and made him act cold. But I was just as afraid that he wasn't into me and I would be to pushy or needy. I blame myself aswell and just look at it as whatever the true reason was its just not working..
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