Cyberpunk Posted June 19, 2012 Posted June 19, 2012 (edited) So my Ex called me up the other night after I told her a month ago that I didn't want anything more to do with her. She called to "apologize" for not returning some of my stuff, and I said, "Not a big deal. Anything else?" Then she got upset and told me "Not to be short with her," or "Mean to her." She also told me that she misses me. Then I went off. I told her I didn't like the person who she became, that I know she was only using me for money, and blah, blah, blah. Her tone shifted instantly. Finally, I went on a short tirade about how I'm sure she'll find someone else to leech off of and never to contact me again. First, why is she contacting me again after I told her I wanted nothing more to do with her? I think she is trying to mess with my head, because she tried acting cute with me like nothing had happened between us. Once I wasn't going for it and started telling her off, then her real vindictive personality surfaced. I'm really confused about this. Did I do the right thing, or should I call her up and apologize? Edited June 19, 2012 by Cyberpunk
AverageJoe80 Posted June 19, 2012 Posted June 19, 2012 Women are nuts, we know this. Obviously, I don't know her, but sounds like she might be just toying with you. I guess, if anything, make things right with her so there's no hard feelings down the road, if you end up having to deal with her again.
Ruby65 Posted June 19, 2012 Posted June 19, 2012 Dumpers -- male or female -- are often nuts. Stick with NC. Whatever you said, forgive yourself and move on. Who cares what she thinks? She dumped you. YOU and your healing are the number one priorities right now, nothing else matters. Years from now, when you're completely over her and happily living the life of your dreams, if you still feel bad about it, you can track her down to apologize. She was probably just feeling guilty or contacting you for a quick ego boost..... either way, continue your awesome job of maintaining NC and move on! 1
Peanut9330 Posted June 19, 2012 Posted June 19, 2012 A lot of time dumpers contact you because they need a boost. They make themselves feel better by knowing your miserable, its best to stick with NC and you'll see it gets better with time.
billythefish Posted June 19, 2012 Posted June 19, 2012 N/C is one of the toughest things you will ever experience.......its breaking away from your ex big style...look on this site & you will find plenty of posts on the subject
Chi townD Posted June 19, 2012 Posted June 19, 2012 You played right into it, dude. She was feeling guilty and putting out breadcrumbs. You could have handled it better and informed her that you had to leave and that's that. But, she got you to argue. It only reaffirmed her belief that you weren't the right person for her and you eased her guilt. Just let it go and go back into NC. It's done and there's nothing you can do about it now. 2
Author Cyberpunk Posted June 19, 2012 Author Posted June 19, 2012 Thanks everyone. NC is rough, but I'll get through it. Do you think she actually misses me though?
Ruby65 Posted June 19, 2012 Posted June 19, 2012 Thanks everyone. NC is rough, but I'll get through it. Do you think she actually misses me though? I'm 100% absolutely positive that she misses you. Why else would she call? She's thinking of you and looking for a reason to call and talk. You have so many great qualities and there's all the memories and maybe she's feeling lonely and some other guy just rejected her. The problem is, whatever stupid issue made her break up with you is still there.... whether it's GIGS or something else.... That's why anytime an ex contacts you for any reason OTHER than to ask for a second chance, you have to ignore it. It gets easier.
k100danny Posted June 19, 2012 Posted June 19, 2012 You could have maybe handled it better but as someone else had said these are your emotions and your feelings and you are entitled to them. i truly believe that unless someone is awful to you, cheats on you, abslutely abuses you you will one day wish the best for that person and probably be thankful. I don't know why she contacted you but if that is how you reacted I'm sure it was right for you at the time. An ex of mine from a previous bad relationship that i found it hard to get over contacted me after a month of no contact, I still wasnt ready to fully talk and was dealing with it quite bad but i knew it was over. I didnt read the message she sent me until I was totally over her and I just came across it by accident in my inbox. I then replied and said I am sorry for the way i acted during the break up, I handled it bad and could have done things better and so could you but we are the way we are. Im sorry I didnt contact you back at the time but i was moving on for myself and it was what was best for me. I wish you all the best and hope you are doing well. x she practically hated me and i felt so ****ty during the break up. Now almost a year on and when i was in a new relationship and she was we became friends again, I mean true friends, if she needs advice i give it to her and vice versa. Hate and anger is a lot to carry and you have to remember one thing, resentment ect doesnt effect the other person it only makes you feel bad. But when you get to that point you will know and you will care what they think and hope they are well but if they don't wish the same for you you wont care.
Author Cyberpunk Posted June 20, 2012 Author Posted June 20, 2012 I'm getting really frustrated at this point. She called again about ten minutes ago and I let it go straight to voicemail. I called her back literally two minutes later and apparently she already blocked my number? What the hell kind of game is this girl playing?
AlexanderJames Posted June 20, 2012 Posted June 20, 2012 I'm getting really frustrated at this point. She called again about ten minutes ago and I let it go straight to voicemail. I called her back literally two minutes later and apparently she already blocked my number? What the hell kind of game is this girl playing? The kind you dont want to play. Keep up NC and move on. She's clearly not worth the time or stress shes causing you. You made a great accomplishment in initiating NC and refraining from talking to her, but unfortunately you let her get the best of you. But dont blame yourself we are only human! Stay positive and remember why you chose to cut her out of your life completely. Dont let her weasel her way back in. You've come too far to let her drag you back down to her level. Good luck mate, Im going through NC at the moment too, it has its bad days, just keep your eyes on the prize, a happy, healthy life
wilsonx Posted June 20, 2012 Posted June 20, 2012 I remember this post http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/329827-list-about-my-ex Honestly, I have never laughed so hard in my life when I read this. "Hi! Use me and abuse me then break up with me and then call me whenever you want. I'll continue to be your lap puppy and call you back." Grow a pair of balls already. The problem isnt her, the problem is you at this point. Here's a list of things you should have for yourself before even attempting dating/relationships in the future Self-worthSelf-loveSelf-respectBoundariesNot being desperateNot settling
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