d'Arthez Posted June 19, 2012 Posted June 19, 2012 But mind you, I see myself as being capable of changing the world. Maybe that is more naive than me actually being an optimist. NEVER lose that belief! 2
Author ThaWholigan Posted June 19, 2012 Author Posted June 19, 2012 NEVER lose that belief! I surely won't
fishtaco Posted June 19, 2012 Posted June 19, 2012 Hope for the best but expect the worst. Maybe that's too practical, but that's one of my faults. I see dating as just another activity you do in life. It doesn't deserve a special "magic" status. So any sort of life wisdom applies to dating just the same. 1
Ross MwcFan Posted June 19, 2012 Posted June 19, 2012 I just hope you don't end up being a virgin at 55 and optimistic that things will work out. Yeah, by that age I think it's time to accept reality and move on. Unless the reason why you're still a virgin is because you've been in a coma for most of your life, or something.
Ross MwcFan Posted June 19, 2012 Posted June 19, 2012 I learned something really cool from this badass bouncer I dated a while back. Basically, even arguing was fun with him. We had some disagreements along the way, and we both encouraged the other to express the anger, sadness, fears, and get them out. Then we'd deal with them, and move on, usually working out the last of the angst through hot, teasing makeup sex. This wasn't a relationship for the long term, but one of many important lessons I learned from him is that disagreements and fighting don't have to be storm clouds that ruin your day. They can actually be fun, challenging, and sexy. I've never been afraid of confrontation. I think sometimes it's necessary to bust through an issue and progress. But now I feel totally fearless about confrontation with anyone - a friend, a client, or a lover. What about a stranger?
Ross MwcFan Posted June 19, 2012 Posted June 19, 2012 Disagreements are one thing but look at how this country is pretty much splitting apart at the seems over disagreements. Look at how some people even kill over them. I would love to be optimistic about the state of this world but it looks like things are getting darker. There's a lot of good that goes on in this world too.
Feelsgoodman Posted June 19, 2012 Posted June 19, 2012 I'm curious about this, as it seems that since I have been here, and especially in the last few days, I've encountered some interesting views about things. This might be a bit of a ramble, but I have to get something off my chest. I'm a naturally optimistic person. Even at my darkest hour, I will see the silver lining in things. Does that make me overly-positive? No, it doesn't. I am well aware of pretty much every dark element in life and in dating, in fact I am often drawn towards it with fascination. I am realistic in that I expect bad things to happen every now and then, or conflicts and clashes etc. This is a given, and not to be scoffed at and to be taken seriously if called for it. Now, there is this notion that if you subscribe to the viewpoint that one shouldn't allow negativity to color the majority of your view on life and yourself, it means you are too optimistic or too positive, and not realistic. What does this mean? I'm genuinely confused. I understand that one must be aware and have a level of caution in most things, but when did it become a problem to have a positive view on life and dating? Optimism and pessimism are the opposite ends of the spectrum. Too much of either is a bad thing. Being too pessimistic makes you depressed and being too optimistic makes you delusional. A realist is someone who can detach himself from his negative and positive emotions and evaluate the situation objectively. 1
Bristolius Posted June 19, 2012 Posted June 19, 2012 Optimism and pessimism are the opposite ends of the spectrum. Too much of either is a bad thing. Being too pessimistic makes you depressed and being too optimistic makes you delusional. A realist is someone who can detach himself from his negative and positive emotions and evaluate the situation objectively. Simple, but difficult. Very much worth trying to achieve. Also, pessimism can be delusional. 2
Author ThaWholigan Posted June 23, 2012 Author Posted June 23, 2012 I think I should bump this thread, and add another question onto it..... Wouldn't an optimism about dating energize you or at the very least motivate you to become a more confident dater? (reaching??........) Optimism and pessimism are the opposite ends of the spectrum. Too much of either is a bad thing. Being too pessimistic makes you depressed and being too optimistic makes you delusional. A realist is someone who can detach himself from his negative and positive emotions and evaluate the situation objectively. I agree with this by the way.
denise_xo Posted June 23, 2012 Posted June 23, 2012 I think I should bump this thread, and add another question onto it..... Wouldn't an optimism about dating energize you or at the very least motivate you to become a more confident dater? I think a positive and confident attitude energises you for anything in life. I prefer to live my life with a positive attitude coupled with low expectations. It's a formula that works well for me. 2
Author ThaWholigan Posted June 23, 2012 Author Posted June 23, 2012 I think a positive and confident attitude energises you for anything in life. I prefer to live my life with a positive attitude coupled with low expectations. It's a formula that works well for me. Precisely . Exactly the way I like to do things 1
joystickd Posted June 23, 2012 Posted June 23, 2012 I know some of the users shoot that psychology article about pessimism but just remember pessimism didn't help the self made millionaire and billionaires of the world optimism did. The most successful people in life are on some level highly optimistic. 1
EasyHeart Posted June 23, 2012 Posted June 23, 2012 I think people should approach dating the same way as everything else: Hope for the best and plan for the worst.
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