zengirl Posted June 20, 2012 Posted June 20, 2012 Depends on the situation. Even on my most bitter days I'll be carefree as a butterfly playing basketball or at a ballgame or a concert or something. If you met me in one of those venues you'd probably never guess I was bitter or negative. In other situations, maybe that's different. I'm not saying such a person can't have a good day. In fact, I'm sure there are many bitter people who had a good day, met friends or a potential romantic prospect and did better with them than they normally would, only to have it fall apart when they reverted to their old processes. Happens all the time. At any rate, people are rarely 100% or 0% bitter. We're dealing in abstractions. Most people are not self-aware enough to track their behavior moment-to-moment on this matter (nor is that necessarily healthy) but if someone has a bitterness towards women and romance, it's going to flare up more when that comes up. Likewise, if you're bitter about something unrelated but milder (not enough to make you a giant, bitter pessimist all the time), then it may not affect dating at all. The triggers to your bitterness are important too.
fortyninethousand322 Posted June 20, 2012 Posted June 20, 2012 I'm not saying such a person can't have a good day. In fact, I'm sure there are many bitter people who had a good day, met friends or a potential romantic prospect and did better with them than they normally would, only to have it fall apart when they reverted to their old processes. Happens all the time. At any rate, people are rarely 100% or 0% bitter. We're dealing in abstractions. Most people are not self-aware enough to track their behavior moment-to-moment on this matter (nor is that necessarily healthy) but if someone has a bitterness towards women and romance, it's going to flare up more when that comes up. Likewise, if you're bitter about something unrelated but milder (not enough to make you a giant, bitter pessimist all the time), then it may not affect dating at all. The triggers to your bitterness are important too. Definitely. I think the hope at that point is that the romantic prospect had already fallen for you by the time the bad stuff leaks out. Possibly a dirty trick, but hey, you got to do what you got to do.
zengirl Posted June 20, 2012 Posted June 20, 2012 Definitely. I think the hope at that point is that the romantic prospect had already fallen for you by the time the bad stuff leaks out. Possibly a dirty trick, but hey, you got to do what you got to do. I would say that would be very hard to do with someone who was perpetually bitter, and like I said, hard to do when consciously controlling it (because then you're being and will seem fake). Much easier to just let go of anger and resentment and find acceptance, rather than be bitter, IMO. At any rate, even if someone has already fallen, they can certainly un-fall. Happens all the time.
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