jobaba Posted June 19, 2012 Posted June 19, 2012 So, every woman here says they can sniff out bitter men. Give us stories of bitter men you have encountered and were turned off or rejected because of it. Detailed...
Philosoraptor Posted June 19, 2012 Posted June 19, 2012 Well I spot bitter people in general and avoid them. But I do enjoy people watching. I've noticed the biggest key in watching bitter men approaching women is how they hold themselves and just the lack of enthusiasm. From the obvious ones you just see they are going in expecting to be shot down and already have that look of "well screw that slut anyways" bubbling under the surface. Often even if they get past the initial conversation starter they've already psyched themselves out so much that they blow it and complete their self-fulfilling prophecy. Again, I've not been approached by bitter men. The guys who approach me are usually pretty happy 3
Joaquin Posted June 19, 2012 Posted June 19, 2012 You can spot bitter in how they handle rejection. Bitter will be rude to the girl and often get agitated, healthy will move on with a smile, really healthy will try it on with her friend before moving on. 1
Philosoraptor Posted June 19, 2012 Posted June 19, 2012 You can spot bitter in how they handle rejection. Bitter will be rude to the girl and often get agitated, healthy will move on with a smile, really healthy will try it on with her friend before moving on. I'm one to generally wish people the best. Being mad surely isn't going to make things any better. Rejection is simply someone being honest with you. They simply are letting you know right away that they don't see it being a good match and you are much better off looking elsewhere. It's a gift, be happy they aren't leading you on.
firehawk_1 Posted June 19, 2012 Posted June 19, 2012 pretty much all women say men are bitter. no wonder so many single people and game playin going on. as for women - plenty of them. far too many...yeesh there is a difference between rejection and playing games. please get it right.
NYC-BigKat Posted June 19, 2012 Posted June 19, 2012 pretty much all women say men are bitter. no wonder so many single people and game playin going on. as for women - plenty of them. far too many...yeesh there is a difference between rejection and playing games. please get it right. Cant tell the difference 'cause I get rejected almost all the time. Its hard to deal with so much . Once been called ugly in the supermarket & then if I get lucky & get a girl to give me a shot she usually runs away after a couple texts & I'm always friendly in it so I dont know what else to do.
USMCHokie Posted June 19, 2012 Posted June 19, 2012 What makes someone "bitter"...? It's always helpful to establish what we're talking about here...
AD1980 Posted June 19, 2012 Posted June 19, 2012 I dont buy the whole womens intution thing and that they can see through people magically more then Men can.. If that were the case no women would be on these forums because theyd be able to see through every Man and never get in a relatinship with somebody toxic who pulled the wool over their eyes.. I have friends who are bitter and misogynstic towards women but get women all the time because theyre extremely good looking which is the no1 key to attract initial interest from women not some magic aura women can see through..
USMCHokie Posted June 19, 2012 Posted June 19, 2012 I dont buy the whole womens intution thing and that they can see through people magically more then Men can.. If that were the case no women would be on these forums because theyd be able to see through every Man and never get in a relatinship with somebody toxic who pulled the wool over their eyes.. I have friends who are bitter and misogynstic towards women but get women all the time because theyre extremely good looking which is the no1 key to attract initial interest from women not some magic aura women can see through.. Agreed. I have a coworker who became admittedly bitter after his divorce that goes through women like you would go through a door. Yet all these women love him and fight for his attention. Even when he tells them he just wants sex, they stick around. Even if they think they're not the only women in his life, they stick around. I have a feeling this sort of situation is not uncommon...
Els Posted June 19, 2012 Posted June 19, 2012 Oh, no. Not everyone can, and not every man with a poor attitude has been rooted out, either. But in general, it does tend to show as you really get to know someone. I've spoken to guys who complained that girls were shallow because 'hot girls' never wanted anything to do with them - they aren't really interested in any other sort of girl themselves, of course. One of those guys even tried to cheat on his gf with a 'hotter girl' and then complained the girl was shallow for rejecting his advances ultimately. Guys who complained about girls 'taking advantage of them' because they bought them a drink in a bar in hopes of getting laid that night and the girl refused sex. Really, quite a few RL stories. Not ever dated a man like that because they don't get past the friends phase with me. I fully admit that there will be the odd one that I may not be able to spot. Doesn't mean I can't spot many of them. 1
Algermas Posted June 19, 2012 Posted June 19, 2012 Women and their fabled intution is a gargantuan lie. I am the original misogynist but I look good and I make a large amount of money and hence nothing else matter to the average woman.
AD1980 Posted June 19, 2012 Posted June 19, 2012 Agreed. I have a coworker who became admittedly bitter after his divorce that goes through women like you would go through a door. Yet all these women love him and fight for his attention. Even when he tells them he just wants sex, they stick around. Even if they think they're not the only women in his life, they stick around. I have a feeling this sort of situation is not uncommon... Same here..my friend got divorced and is using women left and right now and most are ok with it..he even is getting sexting messages from a women he used to work with who got married a few weeks ago its crazy the power this dude has over women.. Even the married women in our social circle know about his past yet love him im guessing because of his looks..i dont know if its a competition thing for women to get this ddues apprval or women just lose their mind and think with their vaginas around really good looking guys but you see the ugly side of some women around guys like this..
Nohbody Posted June 19, 2012 Posted June 19, 2012 I can smell my own, usually. Fortunately- I have started objectively analyzing my thoughts and actions - and I know I don't want to be that way. Can i change? We'll see
Author jobaba Posted June 19, 2012 Author Posted June 19, 2012 Again, I've not been approached by bitter men. The guys who approach me are usually pretty happy You're gay? I didn't know that.
somedude81 Posted June 19, 2012 Posted June 19, 2012 So, every woman here says they can sniff out bitter men. Give us stories of bitter men you have encountered and were turned off or rejected because of it. Detailed... Interesting thread. I'm willing to bet, that every woman I've known on a somewhat regular basis, has no idea that I'm bitter. None of them have a clue.
Philosoraptor Posted June 19, 2012 Posted June 19, 2012 You're gay? I didn't know that. Nope, but I smile a lot at just about everyone so I get the looks and approached by both sexes. Optimism and self happiness pays off again. 1
curlygirl40 Posted June 19, 2012 Posted June 19, 2012 I had a Match date a few weeks ago, the guy kept saying over and over again "I have been burned so many times!!'. What he meant by burned was that he had been on dates and the girl hadn't been into him so he wasted his time/money. That whole victim mentality really turned me off. To me, OLD is a way to meet guys that I wouldn't have ordinarily run into in my day to day life. Some of them I'm into, some of them are into me. When it's mutual we go out again and see where it goes. If a guy isn't into me and we've spent some time emailing, talking on the phone, out on a date, I would never think that I had been 'burned' by that experience.
somedude81 Posted June 19, 2012 Posted June 19, 2012 I had a Match date a few weeks ago, the guy kept saying over and over again "I have been burned so many times!!'. What he meant by burned was that he had been on dates and the girl hadn't been into him so he wasted his time/money. That whole victim mentality really turned me off. To me, OLD is a way to meet guys that I wouldn't have ordinarily run into in my day to day life. Some of them I'm into, some of them are into me. When it's mutual we go out again and see where it goes. If a guy isn't into me and we've spent some time emailing, talking on the phone, out on a date, I would never think that I had been 'burned' by that experience. Seems like to me that you didn't have to sniff out that he was bitter, he just straight up told it to you.
Green Light Posted June 19, 2012 Posted June 19, 2012 So, every woman here says they can sniff out bitter men. Give us stories of bitter men you have encountered and were turned off or rejected because of it. Detailed... When you stop and think about it everybody is bitter in some way. What's so great about being positive and upbeat 24/7? I would find it very tiring being in a relationship with someone like that. A man can be as bitter as he wants and still get plenty of female attention as long as he has "the gift" which usually means caveman good looks.
zengirl Posted June 20, 2012 Posted June 20, 2012 It's rather hard to give details because it generally went like this. Guy approaches me. Guy seems bitter or pessimistic. I get bummed out and want to get away from guy as soon as possible. I leave the place and/or go hang out with happier people across the room and/or whatever is next. I forget about said guy because he was a bummer and try never to talk to him again. Granted, there are some men in my social circle -- not my closest male friends, but in the circle -- who are cynical or bitter, ranging from extreme to mild. Some of them I can put up with only in small doses or actively avoid, but I do know them. One guy, A, is the worst I encounter. Super-bitter, annoying guy. He has tried to go out with me and basically every girl in my social circle to no avail. I can't be in a conversation with him for more than a few moments before I'm totally drained by his negativity and pessimism. But he's the best friend of a friend's husband, so he's around sometimes. As to how I see bitterness? Well, mostly it's literally a feeling --- I literally feel drained when I encounter it. There are signs to describe, I'm sure (verbal and nonverbal), but it's hard to remember them when I feel like that and just want to get away. That's like saying tell a detailed story of that time you were nearly buried in toxic sludge and felt overwhelmed, exhausted, stressed, and panicked with the need to get away. That's LITERALLY what someone who is really embittered or negative makes me feel like, but I have high empathy and pick up on others emotions easily. And, yes, everyone goes through a phase sometimes where a bit of negativity seeps in --- that is very different from someone who chooses negativity regularly and is literally drenched in the stuff, and it looks different too. I mean, my best male friend was a bit bitter after his exGF screwed him over, but he wasn't applying the bitterness to everything in the world --- he was just pissed at her because she cheated on him. Understandable. He forgave her (not saying they stuck through it or anything; he still doesn't really speak to her, but he's made peace with what happned), moved on, and is his cheerful self again. No one is saying ignore hardship --- but becoming bitter is about much more than simply being upset about something. It's the hardened shell of constant negativity. 2
somedude81 Posted June 20, 2012 Posted June 20, 2012 Other than actually being negative and speaking pessimistically, I highly doubt a woman can tell a guy is bitter.
fortyninethousand322 Posted June 20, 2012 Posted June 20, 2012 Other than actually being negative and speaking pessimistically, I highly doubt a woman can tell a guy is bitter. I'm convinced women can read minds. They just act otherwise to maximize their use of the skill. 1
RedRobin Posted June 20, 2012 Posted June 20, 2012 ok, here's one. A few of you might remember that I was approached by another motorcycle driver when I was gassing up my bike a couple of weeks ago. We had a nice chat. He asked for my number and I gave it to him. We chatted later in the week, and he mentioned he was traveling to Laconia, NH for bike week there. That's about a five hour motorcycle drive from where I live, but what the heck? I've been looking for an excuse for a road trip and the weather was gorgeous up here. I re-upped on my camping gear (after passing on the offer to share their room with him and his buds... tell-tale sign number one). So, I've just driven 5 hours for a first 'date'... although, I hesitate to call it a date, really. Just talked to the guy once on the phone... but whatever. I show up at the crazy biker haven (if you really knew me, you'd know I was out of my element, but love people watching, so ok). The guy has obviously had a few drinks... proceeds to talk f-this and f-that. Shouts out rude comments to ladies walking by. Gotta laugh, huh? This guy is blowing it big time. So, later, after things calm down, I get the whole story (I'm actually not bad at calming down the animals most of the time). He's been divorced for five years... and 'never wants to go there again'. Marriage that is. Lots of negative talk about the wife. Another lady comes over to the bar next to us, and he can't help but make negative comments about her body or look. Calls her a 'witch'. I tell him "hey, she didn't do anything to you?" He didn't apologize. Right around closing time at the bar (I wasn't drinking... driving a motorcycle after drinking is just retarded).... I'm looking around. Him and all his friends are divorced. They are sad. You can see the distant look in their eyes. One of his friends who was actually a nice guy smiled at me with a wistful look. I'm thinking I wish I'd met HIM at the gas station instead. too bad, though. the whole scene has got me grossed out by then. Alright, alright. It's a biker bar What did I expect eh? So I go back to my little tent at the campground... I text my peeps that I'm home safe. Pitched up next to some nice, elderly, biker Canadians who looked after me all weekend. Biker guy? Didn't ask me to text when I got back. Poor manners all the way around. He texted me yesterday morning. Guess he is hoping we can pick up where we left off. Um. Nope. All said and done, a great adventure
zengirl Posted June 20, 2012 Posted June 20, 2012 Other than actually being negative and speaking pessimistically, I highly doubt a woman can tell a guy is bitter. First of all, I seriously doubt a bitter guy would not act negative or pessimistic AND seem genuine. A guy who does not seem genuine is also a red flag, but in a different way. At any rate, why would someone put that much effort into hiding he is bitter instead of just not being bitter -- would take far less energy. It's all the energy used up in negativity that makes bitter people seem draining and all the energy used up in putting up a front that makes fake people seem draining to me, I'd say. I can spot both pretty easily. Second, even when someone isn't saying something that is intrinsically negative, the WAY they say it makes it negative sometimes. Like the guy, A, I mentioned. He can talk about tennis and make it seem like he's saying life sucks, even if the words copied into text wouldn't sound that way. But fakers are even easier to spot than negative people, IMO. Depends on the person doing the spotting, of course.
fortyninethousand322 Posted June 20, 2012 Posted June 20, 2012 First of all, I seriously doubt a bitter guy would not act negative or pessimistic AND seem genuine. A guy who does not seem genuine is also a red flag, but in a different way. At any rate, why would someone put that much effort into hiding he is bitter instead of just not being bitter -- would take far less energy. It's all the energy used up in negativity that makes bitter people seem draining and all the energy used up in putting up a front that makes fake people seem draining to me, I'd say. I can spot both pretty easily. Second, even when someone isn't saying something that is intrinsically negative, the WAY they say it makes it negative sometimes. Like the guy, A, I mentioned. He can talk about tennis and make it seem like he's saying life sucks, even if the words copied into text wouldn't sound that way. But fakers are even easier to spot than negative people, IMO. Depends on the person doing the spotting, of course. Depends on the situation. Even on my most bitter days I'll be carefree as a butterfly playing basketball or at a ballgame or a concert or something. If you met me in one of those venues you'd probably never guess I was bitter or negative. In other situations, maybe that's different.
Recommended Posts