avon20 Posted June 19, 2012 Posted June 19, 2012 So it has been about 16 months since I got out of a 3 year relationship with my ex girlfriend. Who dumped who? Well she dumped me but depending on how you look at it you might conclude that I really was the dumper since I didn't want to commit to her in marriage. Really in hindsight our relationship I can tell our relationship had a falling out and a rift started to form in the summer of 2010 after I met her family for the first time. Why? because soon after I met her family she said she thought it was time for us to take the next level in our relationship and get a place together & live together and start sharing our lives together. I wasn't ready for any of that and I told her that's completely out of the question. I told her I don't like living with anybody and that it's too much work. I told her I love living alone. So after that is when I believe the rift started. She slowly began to get more irritable and pull away. Usually when women pull away there's a decreased interest in sex on her side but that's a moot point in my case since we were not having sex in the first place. In the entire 3 year relationship I had no desire to have sex with her for many reasons. It's not anything against her personally. I just do not want to have anything to do with any of my girlfriends in a sexual way. So the arguments and stuff got more and more frequent over the next 6 months. I think that caused my interest level to drop and it began to feel more and more like a chore to go out on dates with her. I was withdrawing myself and spending less time with her. She still called me more than I called her. So in February 2011 she had enough and called it quits and told me she was going to date other guys & see what else is out there. At least she was honest about that and didn't try to let me down gently with "I need space" or "It's not you it's me". None of that BS came out of her mouth. She just flat out told me that if I don't want to commit to her then it's my choice but she's moving on. She also went on about how she's a sexual person and that I rejected her for 3 years. So from that point forward I initiated no contact with her. I stopped all contact because I learned from reading articles on the internet that it's the only way to heal from a breakup. Well it worked for awhile. I went through my own relief stages of having my single freedom back and not having to be accountable to her anymore. I did no contact for a good 4 months. She would still call sometimes. Now we're in limited contact where I let her initiate all the calls & I just answer. She admitted to dating and sleeping with 2 men since the breakup. Now in the last 3-4 months I've been feeling empty & depressed and maybe it is because I am missing her. But if that's the case I don't understand how I can miss someone and still not want to commit to them. I probably couldn't get this girl back even if I wanted to and even if I had some epiphany that I'm ready to commit to her but what I do know is that I still don't have the desire to live with her and still no desire to make love to her. I can't make sense out of all this. I feel more like the dumpee and she's the dumper since she's having an easier time processing the breakup than I am.
FitChick Posted June 19, 2012 Posted June 19, 2012 Perhaps you are gay and need to experiment with men. Gay men like women as friends but don't want to have sex with them, just like you. Nothing wrong with that. Better to find out sooner rather than later and be happy.
CarboniteCammy Posted June 19, 2012 Posted June 19, 2012 Soooo...like... you do realize that *most* people like having sex, right? And that sex is a HUGE part of a relationship for *most* people. have you ever had sex with a girl? have you ever found a woman attractive? do you have some kind of sexual disfunction? did you at least give her oral sex or stimulate her in other ways? I agree with Fitchick- are you sure you're doing it right? Maybe you like dudes. Nothing wrong with that.
Joaquin Posted June 19, 2012 Posted June 19, 2012 Does the idea of sex with a guy appeal more? I've heard of low sex interest/drive, but to have zero interest in having sex with a girlfriend seems a little mismatched.
Author avon20 Posted June 19, 2012 Author Posted June 19, 2012 The last time I had sex was in 2002. After that I decided no more intercourse. Yeah I gave my last ex oral sex 4 times but eventually that wasn't enough for her. That's okay. She likes penis. What can I expect?
luvinthesun Posted June 20, 2012 Posted June 20, 2012 I am still stuck on the no sex part... Best wishes... So it has been about 16 months since I got out of a 3 year relationship with my ex girlfriend. Who dumped who? Well she dumped me but depending on how you look at it you might conclude that I really was the dumper since I didn't want to commit to her in marriage. Really in hindsight our relationship I can tell our relationship had a falling out and a rift started to form in the summer of 2010 after I met her family for the first time. Why? because soon after I met her family she said she thought it was time for us to take the next level in our relationship and get a place together & live together and start sharing our lives together. I wasn't ready for any of that and I told her that's completely out of the question. I told her I don't like living with anybody and that it's too much work. I told her I love living alone. So after that is when I believe the rift started. She slowly began to get more irritable and pull away. Usually when women pull away there's a decreased interest in sex on her side but that's a moot point in my case since we were not having sex in the first place. In the entire 3 year relationship I had no desire to have sex with her for many reasons. It's not anything against her personally. I just do not want to have anything to do with any of my girlfriends in a sexual way. So the arguments and stuff got more and more frequent over the next 6 months. I think that caused my interest level to drop and it began to feel more and more like a chore to go out on dates with her. I was withdrawing myself and spending less time with her. She still called me more than I called her. So in February 2011 she had enough and called it quits and told me she was going to date other guys & see what else is out there. At least she was honest about that and didn't try to let me down gently with "I need space" or "It's not you it's me". None of that BS came out of her mouth. She just flat out told me that if I don't want to commit to her then it's my choice but she's moving on. She also went on about how she's a sexual person and that I rejected her for 3 years. So from that point forward I initiated no contact with her. I stopped all contact because I learned from reading articles on the internet that it's the only way to heal from a breakup. Well it worked for awhile. I went through my own relief stages of having my single freedom back and not having to be accountable to her anymore. I did no contact for a good 4 months. She would still call sometimes. Now we're in limited contact where I let her initiate all the calls & I just answer. She admitted to dating and sleeping with 2 men since the breakup. Now in the last 3-4 months I've been feeling empty & depressed and maybe it is because I am missing her. But if that's the case I don't understand how I can miss someone and still not want to commit to them. I probably couldn't get this girl back even if I wanted to and even if I had some epiphany that I'm ready to commit to her but what I do know is that I still don't have the desire to live with her and still no desire to make love to her. I can't make sense out of all this. I feel more like the dumpee and she's the dumper since she's having an easier time processing the breakup than I am.
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