KungFuJoe Posted June 28, 2012 Posted June 28, 2012 How I deal with temptation (or NOT have to deal with it, I should say) and why I say DON'T CHEAT are linked together. I was in the same boat as you...though slightly different situations. I was with my first gf for four years. It was a good relationship. We loved each other, cared for each other, and the comfort level was amazing. But something was missing. I didn't know what it was at the time but I know now looking back. Passion. Desire. Fire. Heat. Whatever you want to call it...it's that feeling you have for someone when all you want is to ravage their body and f*ck every inch of their soul and your partner feels the same way. Well...I ended up cheating on her with a girl that made me feel desired...and I desired her. I'm now married to that same girl I cheated with and after 12 years of being together (10 married) and 3 kids, we still want each other like this was our last day on earth. Just 2 nights ago, we had such mind blowing sex, we both said it was the most amazing night of sex we'd ever had..and we've had some ridiculously crazy times. And that's after 12 years of sex between the two same people over and over again. Anyways...all I'm saying is...you only live once. Go for it! Get what you want and keep trying until you find it! If you're not happy with who you're with and you don't think it will work out, find someone who WILL make you as happy as you possibly can and is everything you possibly want. THAT is how I deal with temptation. I have everything I've ever wanted and then some. My wife has ruined me for other women and I've ruined her for other men. BUT...DON'T CHEAT!!! And always be 100% honest with EVERYONE, ESPECIALLY your gf, because she deserves your full honesty. I know it's not easy, but let me tell you...if I could have gone back in time and just broke up with my gf before I cheated, I would do it in a HEARTBEAT. What I didn't mention in my previous story was what happened after I cheated. I didn't move on with the girl I cheated with (my current wife) and we didn't live happily ever after. I thought I would do the "right" thing and stick with my gf. It ended up being a one night stand. I tried to make it up to her, but nothing could change the fact that I wasn't happy with my current gf at the time. I ended up cheating on her again a month later with someone else. I broke up with my gf after that but it was in a very bad way. I tried to get back with the first girl I cheated with but she hated me and wanted nothing to do with me. So I tried to get back together with my first gf, but she was now sleeping with someone else. I was a complete mess. I didn't want to be awake because all I could think about was how I ****ed everything up. I took sleeping pills and whiskey and would sleep all day and all night. I ended up ****ing up my ex-gf's relationship with her new man. Things got even WORSE, which didn't seem possible. I eventually hit rock bottom. I recovered eventually...and 3 years after I first cheated on my gf, I somehow bumped into the first girl again...one thing led to another...the fire was still there between us and we decided to give it a try. But it didn't start out good at all. It almost didn't make it. There were still some hard feelings between us and she labelled me a cheater for a while. Which was fair because I WAS a cheater, but also somewhat unfair because she "helped" me cheat. We were rocky for a year and almost didn't make it. But above everything was the connection we had. We really were perfect for each other and eventually that conquered all. But I absolutely shudder...STILL TO THIS DAY...on how I almost ****ed up the best thing that ever happened to me...because I was weak and dishonest and cheated. I could have saved myself SO MUCH MISERY if I had been strong and honest with my gf at the time and especially...myself. Be strong. Be wise. Be honest. BE HAPPY!!!!
Els Posted June 28, 2012 Posted June 28, 2012 You know what actually, I think I'll tell my gf about everything and see what her reaction is. Maybe it will jolt her into action. However she has never appeared particularly concerned when I've talked to / hung out with other girls. Just kind of a "meh" thing, even though I see a girl I hooked up before with once a week (sister of teammate). Thanks for the responses from every single person. Apologies I didn't respond to any individually, however I am taking them all aboard. I agree with your decision. I think you absolutely should bring everything aboveboard and tell your gf. That being said, I'm not certain what you expect her to DO. Sex drive isn't something you can just switch on like a lightbulb, especially if she hasn't found herself sexually yet. She's very young, right, something like 19 or 20? I was 18 when I had my first orgasm and learnt what made me tick. Some women learn way later than that. You would be amazed how many do, actually. Some of them still have sex anyway because they figure that they 'should like it'. The others probably are relatively uninterested in sex, like your gf. Does she masturbate, has she brought herself to orgasm before? I think that if it does snap her enough to realize she NEEDS to try something, those are all things that you need to work through. She clearly cares enough to have sex with you when you want it, she just isn't enjoying it and probably doesn't know how to.
Author Eclypse Posted June 29, 2012 Author Posted June 29, 2012 @Joe: That is an amazing story. I'm so glad that it's all worked out for you and you got the girl of your dreams. If only everyone's story ended that way. Well I was with my girlfriend the other day and I came so close to telling her. In the end I couldn't bring myself to do it. She had wanted us to spend the whole evening looking at pictures of cute puppies that we could buy together. She just looked so adorable lying there that I couldn't do it. It would crush her. Cheating is the easiest option. I know how you feel, it's very difficult to share things like this with your partner. I'll have to see what happens yet.. @Elswyth: She's just turned 23 but she was a late bloomer. I'm 21 and we were both virgins when we met, although I was the first person she'd ever kissed also. She has really strong orgasms and when she gets wet she is dripping down there. I don't know how other girls are but we've never needed any other lubrication. The problem being that this happens pretty rarely. Some days though I'll finger her and play with her boobs and have a "her" session. No penetration, just focus on her till she orgasms. She says we can have intercourse the next time we're together. But when that day comes getting her to have sex is like pulling teeth, although she'll usually agree in the end. She's never masturbated or touched herself down there. She thinks it's "gross" and says only I should really touch her down there. I suggested that it might help her discover herself and it might make it easier on us while we're having sex. I usually rub her while I'm penetrating her, although as I'm sure you can understand this isn't always the most comfortable for me as I have to contort my hand in some positions. Don't get me wrong though, she's a lovely girl and when we cuddle it's amazing and I feel really loved. We share similar interests and we're both happy staying in and enjoying each others company. However the sex is often lacklustre. I guess we're just two different people. I'm in the awkward position of not wanting to dump her, but at the same time curious to see what else there is in the pond.
reboot Posted June 29, 2012 Posted June 29, 2012 The best way to deal with temptation is to avoid it.
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