Rediska Posted June 19, 2012 Posted June 19, 2012 Yeah, I know this has nothing to do with marriages, etc., it's just that this forum gets a lot of hits (I'am aware they might move me to another thread. Sue me). There is this professor at my college that I often stare at because he is handsome. Sadly, he caught me starring at him a few times and he would either stare back. SOMETIMES, he would observe me talking to other students. However, I could see him doing that out of the corner of my eyes. This guy is just as guilty as I am. We basically have starring contests and neither one of us really does anything to stop it. So, I am not trying to seduce (our community college doesn't have a ban on student-professor relationships. We're allowed to date) or lead the guy on..just capture the memory in my head and fantasize about it later. This was all in 2011. Recently, I caught him observing me while I was talking to another girl. And no, I did not stare at him all. Anyway, I need to take a class that he teaches next year because he is the only one that teaches it...and I am wondering if I should because it all feels awkard? what should I do? the class is part of my major. I think he stares at me out of curiousity, some say interest. I just hope I'm not a creeper and he feels flattered.. If it helps, I am easy on the eyes.
d'Arthez Posted June 19, 2012 Posted June 19, 2012 Take the class. You'll need it. Can't risk ruining your education. I would suggest though that you take some measures to avoid getting drawn into something you would not like, such as taking the class with a friend, making certain you never end up in a situation where it is just you and the Prof.
denise_xo Posted June 19, 2012 Posted June 19, 2012 Take the glass, don't stare, and act professionally. Hold off any dating until you're done at the college.
SomedayDig Posted June 19, 2012 Posted June 19, 2012 Being "easy on the eyes" really doesn't have anything to do with this stuff. From what you wrote, you both had this flirtation thing going on and now, for whatever reason, you've chosen to discontinue it. Which is absolutely fine, but since nothing was ever spoken of to him, he continues to flirt. I agree with the others...take the class and don't put out any kind of signals to the guy if you don't want them sent back. Get your credit and move on.
Author Rediska Posted June 19, 2012 Author Posted June 19, 2012 Being "easy on the eyes" really doesn't have anything to do with this stuff. From what you wrote, you both had this flirtation thing going on and now, for whatever reason, you've chosen to discontinue it. Which is absolutely fine, but since nothing was ever spoken of to him, he continues to flirt. I agree with the others...take the class and don't put out any kind of signals to the guy if you don't want them sent back. Get your credit and move on. Yes, I decided to discontinue it because I don't have too much experience with men...and because he intimidates me since he's much older then I am (I'am 21). I will try to not make it akward but I don't really understand the mind of a guy-do you all possibly think me looking at him makes him think it's just innocent and no biggie? That's what I am hoping or.
writergal Posted June 20, 2012 Posted June 20, 2012 Yes, I decided to discontinue it because I don't have too much experience with men...and because he intimidates me since he's much older then I am (I'am 21). I will try to not make it akward but I don't really understand the mind of a guy-do you all possibly think me looking at him makes him think it's just innocent and no biggie? That's what I am hoping or. I know you say you're 21 but I'm sure you know that the act of flirting has sexual connotations to it. The eye contact that you initiated with your professor didn't go un-noticed and was reciprocated by him. You played with fire but then changed your mind which was a smart move. Only your professor knows what your flirtation meant to him. Be careful who you flirt with in the future unless you want reciprocation because that's the purpose of flirting - to show interest and invite a response. You have no idea how they will interpret your over-friendly glances or physical touches.
Author Rediska Posted June 20, 2012 Author Posted June 20, 2012 I know you say you're 21 but I'm sure you know that the act of flirting has sexual connotations to it. The eye contact that you initiated with your professor didn't go un-noticed and was reciprocated by him. You played with fire but then changed your mind which was a smart move. Only your professor knows what your flirtation meant to him. Be careful who you flirt with in the future unless you want reciprocation because that's the purpose of flirting - to show interest and invite a response. You have no idea how they will interpret your over-friendly glances or physical touches. Yeah, so it's probably not the most innocent thing ever(glancing at attractive people). The reason why I don't think it's flirtation is because he raised an eyebrow once. And that is not a good sign. It means "what?" which makes me even more uncomfortable to take the class. He probably thinks I am a weirdo. The other times he would just glance at me and I could see that out of the cornor of my eye
writergal Posted June 20, 2012 Posted June 20, 2012 Who knows what your prof thinks. Hard to know unless you ask him directly (but do you really want to do that, probably not necessary at this point). You may not be the first or last female student to flirt with him. Happens all the time. Such is the way of the world. If you really need his class then take it and just act normal - minus the flirting of course. Otherwise find an equivalent class at another community college which you can transfer if you are too uncomfortable. I'm sure you could take the same course at another college.
carhill Posted June 20, 2012 Posted June 20, 2012 Was/is he wearing a wedding band? If so, yeah, concern would be warranted. Otherwise, it's a calculated risk (regarding reciprocation of interest and/or impact on the educational environment/result) like any other romantic/sexual interaction. Teaching happens in many ways. 1
truth_seeker Posted June 20, 2012 Posted June 20, 2012 Teaching happens in many ways. Indeed it does.
Author Rediska Posted June 21, 2012 Author Posted June 21, 2012 Was/is he wearing a wedding band? If so, yeah, concern would be warranted. Otherwise, it's a calculated risk (regarding reciprocation of interest and/or impact on the educational environment/result) like any other romantic/sexual interaction. Teaching happens in many ways. He's actually not married. My friend took him and she said he never spoke about her (most professors mention their wife at least one during the semester). He mostly spoke about surfing, his dog, surfing, and some more surfing. Also, if they don't speak about their wives then they have their wedding bands on.
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