BlazePT Posted June 19, 2012 Posted June 19, 2012 Hey, guys. So, yesterday I came to know that my ex is a little freaked out about not hearing from me (1 month 1/2 NC) and that apparentely she's a bit afraid of me starting dating other girls or flirting, etc. Especially at weekends, she freaks out a lot, since she only works at weekdays and her friends are too busy to be with her all the time. Here lies the problem: she has this best (girl)friend of hers who, from the way I see it, keeps filling her head with batsh*t. She keeps telling her things like "you know what you want, but you just cannot adapt to it" or "you keep thinking about what's right or wrong instead of focusing on what you really want" and "you can't keep thinking about who you love or loved. I can assure you that he's not thinking of you and he is moving on. And you should too." (bullsh*t) This sh*t really pisses me off and my ex seems to keep agreeing to this and says that she is trying to do things that way. The real hypocrite thing in this is that this friend of hers ALSO went through something like this but got back together with her ex about 4 months later and have been together for 3 years since. I'm actually really mad at this friend of hers, since she also gave me advice when we broke up and said things like "I'm sure you'll do the right things and nothing is lost. You'll see things get better. You guys just need some time apart". What the heck... Should I send a casual message or something like that? Btw, I know this info from a mutual friend of ours that's real close to me. I really don't wanna blow this if she still has feelings for me, which it seems like she does. btw, my story, for those who are interested: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/331175-ex-broke-up-me-after-3-years-she-just-cut-off-all-contact Thanks in advance people
Ruby65 Posted June 19, 2012 Posted June 19, 2012 Continue with NC. Your ex is either going to decide to reach out to you or not. Ultimately it's her choice, regardless of what her friend or anyone else is telling her. Stick to the NC and work on yourself and trying to heal. For your own sake, assume the breakup is permanent. Try not to be waiting for her or hoping for a reconciliation. IF you hear from your ex that she wants to get back together, THAT'S the time to have hope again. 1
Author BlazePT Posted June 19, 2012 Author Posted June 19, 2012 Continue with NC. Your ex is either going to decide to reach out to you or not. Ultimately it's her choice, regardless of what her friend or anyone else is telling her. Stick to the NC and work on yourself and trying to heal. For your own sake, assume the breakup is permanent. Try not to be waiting for her or hoping for a reconciliation. IF you hear from your ex that she wants to get back together, THAT'S the time to have hope again. The thing is, I'm afraid that her decision might be affected by this friend of hers. She's always given her the best possible advice at very critical points of her life, at one time replacing me, for that matter... It kind of really pissed me off at some point when we were still together. My ex would run to her for advice, sometimes hearing from her friend just the same thing i already had told her some time before. I mean, if she didn't have some lasting feelings, why would she ever be afraid of me finding another girl and so? I'm the one who's afraid of her falling into another guy's arms, because naturally i still have strong feelings for her! Doesn't this make some sense?
fucpcg Posted June 19, 2012 Posted June 19, 2012 My ex is highly influenced by her girlfriends. The same ones that she would talk about how immature they were and how much they were always trying to dump their problems on her. When we were dating she pulled herslef away from them. When she dumped me she went right back to them, and together they went on to tell the world about how horrible I was to mt ex, how bad I was for her, how much better she is without me. And they do it from the bar where they get drunk and randomly hookup every night. There is something in my ex that knows bettter, and is more mature than her friends and her current behavior, but where that part of her is at the moment who knows. Wherever it is, it is pushed aside to be with and party with her girlfriends, who all bash me because they love their party buddy, and didn't like losing her to me. My ex knows better, but she is choosing to be with the crowd she is with currently. Do they influence her? Yes, but only because she chose to hang around them, even when she knows deep down they are not good to her, for her. Only she can remove herself, should she choose to. 1
flitzanu Posted June 19, 2012 Posted June 19, 2012 Hey, guys. So, yesterday I came to know that my ex is a little freaked out about not hearing from me (1 month 1/2 NC) and that apparentely she's a bit afraid of me starting dating other girls or flirting, etc. Especially at weekends, she freaks out a lot, since she only works at weekdays and her friends are too busy to be with her all the time. Here lies the problem: she has this best (girl)friend of hers who, from the way I see it, keeps filling her head with batsh*t. She keeps telling her things like "you know what you want, but you just cannot adapt to it" or "you keep thinking about what's right or wrong instead of focusing on what you really want" and "you can't keep thinking about who you love or loved. I can assure you that he's not thinking of you and he is moving on. And you should too." (bullsh*t) This sh*t really pisses me off and my ex seems to keep agreeing to this and says that she is trying to do things that way. The real hypocrite thing in this is that this friend of hers ALSO went through something like this but got back together with her ex about 4 months later and have been together for 3 years since. I'm actually really mad at this friend of hers, since she also gave me advice when we broke up and said things like "I'm sure you'll do the right things and nothing is lost. You'll see things get better. You guys just need some time apart". What the heck... Should I send a casual message or something like that? Btw, I know this info from a mutual friend of ours that's real close to me. I really don't wanna blow this if she still has feelings for me, which it seems like she does. btw, my story, for those who are interested: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/331175-ex-broke-up-me-after-3-years-she-just-cut-off-all-contact Thanks in advance people who cares if she's freaked out about hearing from you? you're not together, that's what breaking up is. and you're putting way too much faith in these friends. regardless of "opinion" or influence, she's the one making the decision. if you're even THINKING that you're going to somehow sway her against the opinions of her friends you're insane. you stay silent and stay NC and stop worrying about her life and worry about your own. 4
Author BlazePT Posted June 19, 2012 Author Posted June 19, 2012 Ok, guys i get it . Thanks a lot for giving me some sense in all this! 1
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