skyisfalling Posted June 19, 2012 Posted June 19, 2012 Hey guys! So I've been constantly posting here on LS as it has helped me cope and endure tremendously. I have been broken up with my bf of a year for 3 weeks now and we've been no contact for 10 or so days. I've made a couple of "oopsies" along the way but for the most part I have been managing. It gets hard and it gets sad- especially in the morning, but I wanna be better, i wanna be stronger, I wanna break free from his bind. So, any LS'ers, who are tired of being miserable and want to restore their life back, join me! I know its sad, and we're all enduring the pain together, but surely, you must see the light at the end of the tunnel that even though our relationship ended, there will be other people out there for us. I refuse to believe that he is the only one that can make me happy. Let's be hopeful for the future and stop giving our exes so much power over us.. is anyone with me???!? 4
iambookworm Posted June 19, 2012 Posted June 19, 2012 I'm with you. Just broke up with bf last weekend. It hurts! I actually thought things were going well. I WILL make it without him. We can do this! 1
ihateslowjams Posted June 19, 2012 Posted June 19, 2012 Im joining this bandwagon too. I broke up with my ex 2 weeks ago but NC for 9 days so far. I don't want to feel depressed anymore and want to get back to normal. Patience is a virtue that i have to live by once again. It will take time, but i can't wait for the day for me to look at these past posts and go "wow, over dramatic much?" 1
iambookworm Posted June 19, 2012 Posted June 19, 2012 It will take time, but i can't wait for the day for me to look at these past posts and go "wow, over dramatic much?" Day 1 for me, and its excruciatingly hard. I peeked in his online profile again and he hasn't logged in for 2 days now. Sigh. Day 1 of NC. Wait, does it still count if I checked his online site?
Winning Posted June 19, 2012 Posted June 19, 2012 Saturday is two months that I have not contacted him. He made his total lack of interest clear and has not and obviously will not ever contact me again. It is getting slowly better but some days are incredibly much worse than others. I'm staying busy and being productive and am outwardly happy; no one would ever know that my heart is shriveled and shrunken and ice cold in pain. But I am pleased with the things I've done, the things I plan, and the events I plan to go to. Eventually I WILL be indifferent. I DO see that light, I see the surface of the abyss I'm drowning in, I will make it to the top and take that big gasp of fresh, clean, pure air. Someday. 1
TaraMaiden Posted June 19, 2012 Posted June 19, 2012 Day 1 for me, and its excruciatingly hard. I peeked in his online profile again and he hasn't logged in for 2 days now. Sigh. Day 1 of NC. Wait, does it still count if I checked his online site? No it doesn't.... No Contact means you have absolutely, completely, totally entirely, thoroughly cut off all connection with that person in every and any way, shape or form. Period. i strongly recommend people here read the "All New Caliguy No Contact Guide" in my signature and learn it off by heart. Only way, peoples....
geegirl Posted June 19, 2012 Posted June 19, 2012 Day 1 for me, and its excruciatingly hard. I peeked in his online profile again and he hasn't logged in for 2 days now. Sigh. Day 1 of NC. Wait, does it still count if I checked his online site? Peeking does not count as NC. NC means exactly that...no contact. No smoke signals, carrier pigeons, Facebook peeking, drive-bys, etc.
StarlaStardust Posted June 19, 2012 Posted June 19, 2012 Day 10 NC, 2.5 months since break up. He has not talked to me since he broke up with me in an email, saying he'd be ready to talk on the phone the following day. That was a lie, lol. Couldn't get him on the phone ever again (or an email response, or a text response....) I still get the urge to contact him. I dreamed last night that I looked at his facebook profile, haha. I don't look in waking life, though:P Stay strong! Sucks that it feels so counter-intuitive to just walk away and forget about someone you really want and care for.
Author skyisfalling Posted June 19, 2012 Author Posted June 19, 2012 hey starla! Hope you had a great day yesterday with your bestie. Your ex is a person who is selfish and cares about only his needs. He refuses to put himself in your situation and talk things over- even if its not to reconcile but just to have that proper "talk." My ex is a selfish person who doesn't put anyone else before him- all he cares about are his selfish reasons and our exes dont deserve us. Although we may never know why our exes changed their minds about us I think we can both agree that the relationship is over and we need to work on ourselves to change. Hang in there, you're such a great person. Any man is a fool to leave you hanging- a man would be a complete fool not to want you.
Author skyisfalling Posted June 19, 2012 Author Posted June 19, 2012 HANG in there EVERYONE!!! Brighter days will come, im sure. As hard as it is, we really need to do this for ourselves because no one will do it for us. Lets put in the work and the effort and reap our rewards by finally breaking free from their power over us. Lets all walk together toward a happier place
StarlaStardust Posted June 19, 2012 Posted June 19, 2012 Thank you so much, sky. Today is a very rough day for me. I know I can always come to LS and search up your threads, though, and I will find some sort of comfort there. Thank you. Responding to you was actually how I ended up registering for this site! You're like a little internet angel, hehe. It feels good to see you finding your strength, too.
Author skyisfalling Posted June 19, 2012 Author Posted June 19, 2012 im so glad i found this site, its helping me so much and although its hard i'm trying to have a positive outlook. I'll be here if you need me and thank you for all the encouragement starla during my most difficult times
daisy088 Posted June 19, 2012 Posted June 19, 2012 Im with all of you! I broke NC this week when my ex contacted me to get back together (changed his mind 24 hours later... yeah), and I realize that breaking NC is the WORST idea even if they contact you first. NC was the only thing that made things better for me the first time he broke up with me and now I am initiating again. I untagged all photos of us, blocked him through every channel and am ready to say goodbye to this manipulative, clearly unstable, unappreciate JERK! Funny thing is I know I settled for him- its probably the case for many of you. Good luck. Lets stick with it.
Author skyisfalling Posted June 19, 2012 Author Posted June 19, 2012 Im with all of you! I broke NC this week when my ex contacted me to get back together (changed his mind 24 hours later... yeah), and I realize that breaking NC is the WORST idea even if they contact you first. NC was the only thing that made things better for me the first time he broke up with me and now I am initiating again. I untagged all photos of us, blocked him through every channel and am ready to say goodbye to this manipulative, clearly unstable, unappreciate JERK! Funny thing is I know I settled for him- its probably the case for many of you. Good luck. Lets stick with it. What a fu***** ass****!! UGH, it makes me mad when i hear this because it hits so close to home.. I totally understand how you feel, investing hard work into doing NC only to have it blow back in your face. Let's use this anger to break free from their grasp and give them a taste of their own medicine. I'm so done being miserable and stupid, I can't wait for the tables to turn on him when I have the power to completely ignore my ex the same way he ignored me. EFF these jerks!! F*** em RIGHT IN THE EAR! Let's NC the sh** out of them until they're miserable and they cry!!
barese1 Posted June 19, 2012 Posted June 19, 2012 I'm jumping on this bandwagon too. Just over 3 weeks NC and it hurts like hell but we'll get there. If we don't believe that then we're fu&*ed! If they know what we want and haven't called us, then we gotta see its over and get through this. Hope we all make it out of this black hole soon Much love
AlexanderJames Posted June 20, 2012 Posted June 20, 2012 Can I just say that you are doing extrememly well for someone who is in their 3rd week after a 1 year relationship! Pat yourself on the back. A lot of people would still be in a much much darker place so soon after having their world fall apart. You're doing all the right things from what I've seen and read. Keep it up, you'll get through this. You're taking all the right steps. It might not sound like much coming from a stranger but I know what you're going through, and Im proud of you
iambookworm Posted June 20, 2012 Posted June 20, 2012 No peeking, no contacts. I wanted too though, especially as I heard that there was a storm in his neck of the woods, a pretty strong one at that. So, I wanted to send him a message to ask. Fortunately, my friends slapped me on the hand to stop me. Another friend (another girl) brought me flower to make me feel better.
Author skyisfalling Posted June 20, 2012 Author Posted June 20, 2012 Can I just say that you are doing extrememly well for someone who is in their 3rd week after a 1 year relationship! Pat yourself on the back. A lot of people would still be in a much much darker place so soon after having their world fall apart. You're doing all the right things from what I've seen and read. Keep it up, you'll get through this. You're taking all the right steps. It might not sound like much coming from a stranger but I know what you're going through, and Im proud of you Thank you so much for that Alexander. I think for now, my motto is "fake it till you make it.." Pretend to be happy until one day you are. You're doing great yourself, let's continue to inspire each other to break free from our ex. 2
StarlaStardust Posted June 20, 2012 Posted June 20, 2012 Day 11. F*ck this sh*t and my goal to stop cussing so f*cking much Wouldn't hurt so bad if he would have given me the decency of a 2-way conversation. Avoidant emailing coward. The silent treatment leaves me in great confused pain. But what's funny is I'm doing better than I have in my whole life in so many ways -- I'm working out, eating great, looking better than ever, my moods with other people are super evened out, etc. I even replaced all my flannel pajamas with lacy silky nighties and decluttered my whole apartment. I've turned into the person I always wanted to be. And he's in loser land somewhere, living in his friend's basement on a twin bed, smoking pot with his students* (college instructor), not appreciating the new me (not that he could even know, though I am going to assume he's like every other human being and uses facebook to check up on me). Oh well. I do love that "loser" though. I have to force myself to even call him one, just to give myself perspective. *I fully support a 420 lifestyle, but smoking with your students on your lunch break IS kind of a loser move. 1
Author skyisfalling Posted June 20, 2012 Author Posted June 20, 2012 Hi starla, its always good to hear from you. i cuss all the f****ing time too, and i dont really feel like censuring myself either. so F*** it. our exes are f***ing morons, seriously, just leave without a goodbye or the decency to let us know they dont want to continue it any longer.. absolute f***ing pieces of sh*ts. I'm same with you, working on myself to feel great inside, but as i'm doing that, i can't help but think of my ex and how wonderful it would be if we were together.. blah blah fu**king blah. UGH, he is such a c*** suc*ing low life motherfu**** but I can't seem to get him off my mind. I need to envision my ex being a loser, but its hard when he looked really good on paper. *sigh*
Author skyisfalling Posted June 20, 2012 Author Posted June 20, 2012 for anyone else who are struggling, i found these two links, EXTREMELY helpful. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/171834-how-get-over-your-ex-quickly http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/171930-getting-point-wanting-get-over-your-ex
StarlaStardust Posted June 20, 2012 Posted June 20, 2012 My ex did tell me he wanted to break it off. He actually said "I regretfully withdraw my intent to court you" (who the f*ck talks like that?) in an email. But also said he would have the decency to speak to me on the phone the next day. Obviously, that never happened. I tried contacting him a number of times with absolutely no response whatsoever. I was 100% kind and respectful about it every time, and I never once begged or pleaded (though, maybe that is what he was hoping for, in which case, I can't be in a relationship with someone who breaks up to get their way), so this is his serious issues. No healthy adult is that avoidant. He is avoiding me so much that he left something very rare and special of his in my possession, rather than face me. I have the decency to keep it boxed up in the closet for him until he grows a pair and comes for it. What's really effed up about the words he chose to break up with me is that two days before, I received a rejection letter from grad school that started with "I regret to inform you that..." I wonder if he used those words to dig at me or if it was a subconscious move on his part. He's never been one to say anything mean, but I also never thought he'd be the type to end a 9 month relationship in an email, either. So who knows. Good riddance, right? But it's so hard to move on when you have so many unanswered questions. Ah well. f*ck it. Give it time, no?
DMS Posted June 20, 2012 Posted June 20, 2012 Hopping on the wagon here too. The ex has only initiated contact with me twice since she left saying she needed time and space and that if I went back to Fla, got things set like I wanted and still wanted her in my life to reach out for her and she would choose. Only to be in a relationship with someone she met in an online game 2 days later. I miss her and think about her a lot but have been left to question how much of the last 5 years was genuine and how much was a show? We went through some dark times together and I truly believed I had found the girl I wanted to marry only to be tossed aside on what seemed like a whim.
Recommended Posts