Notforever Posted June 19, 2012 Posted June 19, 2012 About two months ago my boyfriend left me. We had been living together, had a date planned for our future wedding and true engagement was not too far off. He was always the attached one and nobody ever saw him leaving me but surprising he did when I confronted him about his ridiculous gaming tendoconcies. Anyways, I was a mess for a month, couldn't sleep- constantly reading things on here that just hurt more. People saying it took years to get over an ex- it scared me so much. I started working on myself- physically, spiritually, and emotionally. I decided that I didn't know the reason yet but everything happens for a reason and eventually I would be grateful for the breakup. Why would the true love of my life ever leave me? They wouldn't. But I decided I wouldn't meet Mr. Perfect until I had gotten myself where I needed to be. Well I am so happy to say that the past few days I've felt truly happy:) my ex was controlling and abusive and that's not the relationship I want now at all! Even though at the time I felt like I would want the exact same relationship again. I don't. I just want to shed some light- YOU will be happy eventually, and you will meet your right person and get where you need to it might just take time. Dont think it will take forever, if you handle it the right way for you- it won't. Have you seen the Office or How I Met Your Mother? I was crying over those relationships last week (I had to have something to watch while I was bored!) but now I cannot wait to find that! You deserve better than someone who will leave you or causes you to leave them!
skyisfalling Posted June 19, 2012 Posted June 19, 2012 Amen! Preach on! Finally, a thread about hope.. hope and resilience to recover from a break up. This site has been so helpful but it seems there are way too many people being too "sad" and "unable to carry on" than inspirational threads where there is light at the end of the tunnel. Thank you, although I am currently at NC DAY 13 I feel stronger than I did a couple of days ago because I refuse to be miserable no more.
AlexanderJames Posted June 19, 2012 Posted June 19, 2012 Nice post and Im glad you're feeling happy and strong Congratulations. We are in the same mindset at the moment, although im only into my 4th week since being hurt I've had a lot of experience with dealing with loss (unfortunately) and thanks to friends and self taught lessons Im well on my way. Which is why I'm on here helping people who need it! True hapiness is bliss, and we are the only people who can deliver it to ourselves. Congratulations again
AlexanderJames Posted June 19, 2012 Posted June 19, 2012 Anyways, I was a mess for a month, couldn't sleep- constantly reading things on here that just hurt more. People saying it took years to get over an ex- it scared me so much. Also this is a good point, I mentioned to another member on here to be careful what they read on this forum. And only to read what you can handle / want to hear. Reading about NC resulting in winning back an ex when your trying to move on for example. Can give false hope. I stuck to reading only comments in my own threads about my situation until I was confident reading about others problems and outcomes. 1
Author Notforever Posted June 19, 2012 Author Posted June 19, 2012 Skyisfalling- thank you for reading:) I agree! When it first happened I spent hours just looking over breakup things online and it was so hard to find something helpful, so I wanted to post what I was looking for! I wish you the best of luck- be strong! You deserve better than that and no contact will eventually get so much easier! I cant even stand the thought of breaking what I've been doing such a good job of! Alexanderjames- thank you so much:) I'm so sorry youve had to deal with so much loss. You sound like you're in such good spirits and those things continue to give me hope! Thank you for being so positive- even though it's just for you it affects us all too:) good luck with everything and hopefully your experience with loss gets less aquatinted! 2
Author Notforever Posted June 19, 2012 Author Posted June 19, 2012 Also this is a good point, I mentioned to another member on here to be careful what they read on this forum. And only to read what you can handle / want to hear. Reading about NC resulting in winning back an ex when your trying to move on for example. Can give false hope. I stuck to reading only comments in my own threads about my situation until I was confident reading about others problems and outcomes. I got to the point of only seeing and reading what I wanted to see. I needed to move on, not focus on reconciling! At some point I choose to not visit this site just because more things were hurting me and getting me down. I would strongly advise people on here to be super careful and definitely make sure they can handle all the advice and readings.
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