311 Posted June 19, 2012 Posted June 19, 2012 Ok, Ive posted on here before and it helped me. It has been a while since my last post. I thought id post again because I have been wanting to seek help but dont have the time to see a shrink. This really bothers me. Went through a seriously bad break up. 2.5 years together, living together, seeing each other everyday, first love. First I was dumped for what I thought was no reason, then later I found out she had cheated from another friend of ours. At my request, we never spoke again. That was emotionally the worst most painful thing Ive been through and I still clearly remember it. It is now approx 6 years later. I am married now. Have been with my wife for 5 years and married for 6 months. What bothers me is that I continue to have painful dreams about my ex to this day. The pain is just as if it had recently happened. The dreams only happen once in a while, but I am sick of them. I cant believe it still hurts after all of this time. I dont know what to do. I usually see her in the dream and hug her or something like that and then it hurts and I wake up. I havent told my wife. I cant control the dreams. What can I do and why is this happening still? Is it post traumatic stress??
Winning Posted June 19, 2012 Posted June 19, 2012 It might be PTSD with your brain still attempting to process what happened. You might consider seeking therapy, that is a very helpful option. A psychiatrist would be able to diagnose you, if the therapist thinks you need to see one. Medication could also be of assistance. Remember that it is not weakness to seek treatment for a brain disorder. The brain is every bit as much a physical structure/organ as is the liver or the pancreas or the heart, and all those organs have medications and therapeutic regimens (including exercise and diet) that can help them out. I hope you're fully 'in' the relationship you're currently in, not holding back because of some unresolved issues. It IS many years on now. You really do need to seek therapy. I'm sorry you're still experiencing the aftershocks so many years on. I wish you healing and comfort.
Author 311 Posted June 20, 2012 Author Posted June 20, 2012 It's strange. Everyone tells you to move on. And so, you can do things in life to move on. But, like I said I cant control what I dream. I found a lot of strength in being angry about what happened. It kind of gave me energy to get out of the funk I was in. I know sadness and anger are closely related and man I was angry. But it fueled me and I ran on it for a long time. I moved, moved on, dated, got a place, got a good job, got married...etc... Except something is still not right and I don't know what it is. I love my wife, she is amazing. She is so much more than my ex. I know there was not a lot of time in between when I met her and when my ex and I broke up. About a year. Thought that was enough time.
GLDheart Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 .... Is it post traumatic stress?? Yes. It seems that is exactly what it is. You are seeking an answer for an irrational event that occured to you. Deep down you feel like being able to understand it better will allow you to protect yourself from future trauma. It's happening for a reason. You still feel some vulnerability. If you can get at that vulnerability you can remove the power that the memory of that trauma is causing you. It may help you to acknowledge that no amount of self protection will ever protect you from trauma. YOU WILL GET HURT AGAIN. Maybe not in that exact way. That's not the point. If you admit to yourself that it is OK to be somewhat vulnerable, maybe you won't have to fear the next time you get hurt. Maybe then you can finally let go of that trauma. Good luck man this one isn't easy.
KathyM Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 Ok, Ive posted on here before and it helped me. It has been a while since my last post. I thought id post again because I have been wanting to seek help but dont have the time to see a shrink. This really bothers me. Went through a seriously bad break up. 2.5 years together, living together, seeing each other everyday, first love. First I was dumped for what I thought was no reason, then later I found out she had cheated from another friend of ours. At my request, we never spoke again. That was emotionally the worst most painful thing Ive been through and I still clearly remember it. It is now approx 6 years later. I am married now. Have been with my wife for 5 years and married for 6 months. What bothers me is that I continue to have painful dreams about my ex to this day. The pain is just as if it had recently happened. The dreams only happen once in a while, but I am sick of them. I cant believe it still hurts after all of this time. I dont know what to do. I usually see her in the dream and hug her or something like that and then it hurts and I wake up. I havent told my wife. I cant control the dreams. What can I do and why is this happening still? Is it post traumatic stress?? This wouldn't be diagnosed as PTSD. In order to have PTSD, the person would have to have experienced an event that involved actual or threatened death or serious physical injury of oneself or someone else, and you would have had to experience fear, helplessness or horror in response to the life threatening event. What you've experienced would not qualify under that diagnosis. But you have apparently not emotionally processed this loss adequately, and if the dreams continue, you may want to see a counselor to help you process this.
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