jmy33 Posted June 19, 2012 Posted June 19, 2012 So my ex and I dated for 2 years, and have been broken up for close to 8 months now. The thing is though, I still cant stop thinking about her. Like what it would be like if we were still together. I think back to what it was like when we were dating. What we would be doing now, and so much more. Truth is, I still miss her. I dont want to though. Im at the point where I could never take her back. She left me so cold, that I would never be able to trust her again. I just want the thought of her out of my head. Im just wondering what can I do? I already hangout with friends everyday. So i try to keep as busy as I can. It just seems like everytime I come home and have a little time to myself, she always pops into my mind. Is it still normal to be thinking of her after this long? And if so, how much longer will I have to wait? All I want is for this persistent thought to just...be gone.
Svet74 Posted June 19, 2012 Posted June 19, 2012 well its been a yr and a half for me and i still think about my ex. maybe always will no matter what happens. U jsut learn to cope with it i guess. As longs as ur not in pain or anything or having anxiety dont worry about it.
AlexanderJames Posted June 19, 2012 Posted June 19, 2012 My first big break up took 10 months to stop thinking about her. She cheated on me, that was 6 years ago now. I rarely think about her. But when I see her in public we are friendly and have caught up a few times since. Second big one I was cheated on again. Took me 6 months to stop thinking about her. That was 18 months ago. 12 months after breaking up we caught up and feelings came back but we didnt work. Took less than a week to get back on track and now I rarely think about her either. Most recent one (most serious relationship so far) was 4 weeks ago and already I feel well on the way to recovery. As you can see it does get easier as you live and learn. I taught myself some handy ways of getting the thoughts out of my mind. It sounds like you've accepted that you need to move on, but havent allowed yourself to let go. Heres some tips; Listen to break up music, not songs you enjoy, or songs that remind you of her. I made the mistake of listening to all my favourite artists during a rough break up, now I cant listen to them any more. Try these, I listened to songs such as "In the end" by linkin park "The plot to bomb the panhandle", "better off this way" and "If I leave" by A day to remember. And "Romance is dead" and "Carrion" by parkway drive, those last 2 are real hardcore songs, im a dance lover myself but the lyrics to these are good I found. Write down a journal of all the things you dont like about your ex, things they did to you, times they let you down or hurt you, and physical attributes you found offputting. The mind tends to only remember and focus on the good things during a break up. It's a dangerous trap. Read them if you start to think about her, remind youself she isnt the one for you. And you deserve better. Write a reminder that you didnt work for a reason, and that it's how it has to be. Tell yourself to remember how you felt after previous breakups (If youve had them) Remember how hopeless and alone you felt, and how you thought you would never love again, (Everyone feels this way) Then realise that you did find love again, a better love, and although it wasnt the right love, I can promise you that you will find it again, and it will be even better. Just be strong and listen to all the other people who have been through this like you. Just be careful to only read things on here that you want to hear, some other peoples instances might put false hope in your mind or send you the wrong way. Know what you want, and dont stop until you're there. Time heals all, but it takes extra effort to get there sometimes. It's the brave and the bald that go the furthest in life. Be brave mate
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