piliru Posted July 1, 2004 Posted July 1, 2004 so, yes he didn't call, he say he would but he didn't, what i hear next? he came back with his ex. don't you have the personality to say, no i won't, i mean if you were planning to go back to your ex, you shouldn't be dating.... anyway.... give me your toughts
lexnmike4enomore Posted July 1, 2004 Posted July 1, 2004 All guys say they will call and don't . They don't have the balls to say i don't want to date you anymore. Guys aren't that mean to say that....so the polite way to say i don't like you is say they'll call and don't. Just take the hint.
faux Posted July 1, 2004 Posted July 1, 2004 Women do this as well, all the time as a matter of fact. It boils down to the fact that this type of behavior is a people thing, and not a man, or woman-specific type of behavior. People tend to be quite, well, stupid when it comes to handling the feelings of others that they are not going gonzo for. I suppose it is far easier to simply hurt the feelings of someone that you consider unimportant.
thecake Posted July 1, 2004 Posted July 1, 2004 Women do this to...I used to do this right out of highschool...avoid people if I didn't want to talk to them hoping they'd get the hint. I finally started telling guys if they didn't hear from me three days in a row it was over....ha. That doesn't work either. However, I cannot STAND it when someone keeps calling over and over and doesn't give me a chance to respond. Leave one message and I'll get back to you...and if someone tells me they're going to call and don't then I certainly wouldn't call them.
dudesomewhere Posted July 1, 2004 Posted July 1, 2004 just wanted to say...I say I call and I do . That said, I don't go after or get involved with someone just for the heck of it...I might be bored or boring...but I'm not going to use someone and then tire of them and ignore them. Now...this interests me: "However, I cannot STAND it when someone keeps calling over and over and doesn't give me a chance to respond." paint a scenario for me if you will, because the statement is vague to me. What do you mean doesn't give you a chance to respond? You mean they call once, no response...another, no response...etc but you want to respond? I'm really curious
thecake Posted July 2, 2004 Posted July 2, 2004 Okay...I understand the wording of that comment is vague. Here's what I mean by that and I've got a perfect example (I think). This guy asked me out a couple of weeks ago for a Saturday night...I accepted the date but then something came up and I had to go out of town that morning. I left him a message on Friday apologizing for cancelling and I SPECIFICALLY said I would call him when I got back in town. No biggie, right? So, I get home late Sunday night and my caller i.d. showed that he had called 8 times and he didn't leave a message...a huge pet peeve of mine...leave a message and I'll call you back when I feel like it. But, remember I had told him in my message that I would call HIM when I got back so he had no reason to be calling knowing I was out of town....right? So, I was planning on calling him back on Monday night after I went out to dinner with a friend...I get home around 8:30'ish and the guy had called 5 times and didn't leave a message. At this point he doesn't even know I'm back in town. That just irritates me...so I waited a week before answering his calls...and he would call a lot...just let it ring until my voice mail picked up and then he'd hang up. Given that I told him I would call him when I got back in town why was he calling over and over and over? I don't get it. One more point - I like to have a chance to be the one to call someone...you know? A guy doesn't have to constantly call me...let me call him every once in while...that would at least let him know I'm interested. Does that make sense, dude?
dudesomewhere Posted July 2, 2004 Posted July 2, 2004 ah, salmon skin roll...salmon skin roll I wonder if his persistence if you will, is that he was trying to show a form of assertiveness that many women admire Good thing I don't have caller ID, I never guess if anyone is trying to call me and hang up...I always figure it's a telemarketer While we're on this subject..."let me call him every once in while" what would you call calling once in a while from a woman's end...if there's a difference between the sexes in this matter...prolly is. And oh, we're not hijacking a thread are we? It is afterall, all about calling isn't it? Once a month? Once every 2? I'm very laid back...most times so those are just my numbers
thecake Posted July 2, 2004 Posted July 2, 2004 or desperatation? This guy was acting way too desperate for me. Caller i.d. is great. If I'm interested in a guy I'll call pretty often or at least when I say I'm going to call..."I'll give you a call on Wednesday..." for example "I'll call you WHEN I GET BACK INTO TOWN". I've got this one guy who calls me every two weeks...that's fine because I'm not that interested in dating him but I like talking to him occasionally. By the way, what is a salmon skin roll?
kirkyswife Posted July 2, 2004 Posted July 2, 2004 I think men are just as confused about relationships, feelings and love as women - if not more so because they aren't as open with their feelings because it's really hard to find support amongst other male buddies for men who are too "soft". So, they say they are going to call because they probably mean that they are going to call you and then life happens and they roll with it and that's that. NOW we, as women on the other hand have a tendency to place a lot of faith in someone's word BEFORE they have proven to be trustworthy. And a man is NOT ever going to call you and tell you that he's back with his ex because that eliminates opportunity. He can deny rumors and even try to convince you, if you saw them together, that it wasn't what you thought and some females will believe that. I don't think ALL men are out to hurt people - I just don't think they think before acting or speaking and then their selective amnesia kicks in or they are sidetracked by what is in front of them that they forget to complete items on their to do list. I say go out on a date with these guys, enjoy the evening - get to know them and then go on with your life. If they call great! If they don't call - that's cool too. Slow down, and get to know someone - what color do they like and why? What's their favorite song and why? Funny stories from how they got that scar on their cheek in elementary school - check out if they are asking you the same questions. Dating is about getting to know someone - remember friendship is the basis for the foundation for a strong relationship - without friendship first a relationship is doomed for failure, so get to know this person as a friend and see what develops. If he doesn't call he's not worth your time - x him from the list and keep it moving. Remember, someone has to EARN the right to your time and your attention for both of which are precious and valuable. We must raise the bar (expectations of people in our life) and if they fail to meet that bar we do ourselves a favor an eliminate a problem lurking in the shadows. Put you first ALWAYS!
dudesomewhere Posted July 2, 2004 Posted July 2, 2004 lol...SALMON SKIN ROLL it comes from an episode of Friends. I love Friends and I love Seinfeld . I love comedy, good lighthearted fun and none of that adult drama thank you so from this episode of Friends, Ross has this thing called UNAGI...it's a sushi thing but he of course confuses it with a zen thing. Unagi I'm guessing is salmon skin roll sushi. In one line Rachel responds with ah, Salmon Skin Roll. Now whether or not you've seen it and think it's funny is besides the point...it made me bust a gut in its silliness I like to use it as my reference to vague things...although not as lame as Dennis Miller
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