add2718 Posted June 19, 2012 Posted June 19, 2012 My girlfriend has been best friends with a guy since she was about 5 years old. They dated in high school but it didn't work out but they still remain best friends. This relationship kind of bothers me. It makes me feel as if I will never come first in her life, based on some stuff I've noticed: -- This guy will call/text her constantly all day. Calls her first thing in the morning, when he gets done work, texts all during the day, etc. -- She constantly mentions him in conversation, like "oh, [this guy] liked that movie too" and what have you. -- He is *extremely* overprotective of her. She told me a story about how he once drove her to school (she doesn't drive), waited in the college library for three hours during her night class, and then drove her home, because he "didn't want her taking the bus"... despite the fact that the bus comes every 10 minutes right outside the school and it's a 15 minutes ride home. I find stories like this to often exceed even what a husband would normally do for his wife, let alone a "best friend". -- When we began seeing each other, she practically warned me about this guy, by saying that only one or two of her previous boyfriends have been able to deal with him. And pretty much whenever I try to talk about this situation, she gets kinda defensive, ugh. thoughts? is she ever going to be closer to me than to him?
Nohbody Posted June 19, 2012 Posted June 19, 2012 That sounds like quite a predicament. Boyfriends and Girlfriends come and go, but BFFs are BFFs. She isn't with this dude, so be confident that she has chosen to be with you. See where you can start to "horn in" on this guy's parade. Maybe even have a talk with him after a period of time has elapsed. I don't think you should ever give her an ultimatum.
Author add2718 Posted June 19, 2012 Author Posted June 19, 2012 Yeah I agree about not giving her an ultimatum. Wasn't planning on it. I've been pretty cool about it so far, I'm just starting to think long-term about whether this will cause problems...
Nohbody Posted June 19, 2012 Posted June 19, 2012 Hopefully, if it is long-term you will naturally begin to enter her life more and more and the other guy will hopefully gracefully duck out.
Babolat Posted June 21, 2012 Posted June 21, 2012 I do not know how long your relationship has been. Give it time, you are feeling insecure and jealous, which is normal, though do not project that on her or make that her issue..it's yours, own it. Don't talk about it at all. She has picked YOU to be in a relationship with.
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