Just got dumped and I want her back

[Bubbles]

I wonder, if she feels like she has given so much of her time and her emotions to you because of your things that have happened to you, that she feels like she needs time to herself. To be able to "recover" if you will.??? Just a question.

 

BAJI she has been there for you (it sounds like) night and day. That can take a lot out of a person.

 

I think she just needs some time to herself. She'll be back. One thing I know is this, a person normally doesn't do for another person if they don't love them or care for them very deeply. I think she just needs a vacation from her "duties" to you - don't you?

 

Another thing - if she calls you......answer the phone. As it has been said to you......don't sound needy....no-one likes that. Find out how she is......at least sound interested in what she is doing with herself and really.......you should be happy that she is doing for herself. Sounds like she has done an awful lot for you already. It's not as if she doesn't want anything to do with you at all... right?

 

Keep your chin up Buddy! We're here when you need us.

 

Bubbles

[BAJI]

What ya'll are saying make me feel better and I wish that I can talk to or see ya'll in person to show my gratitude, I really appreciate this help. She called again today just after I wrote the previous message and while I was speaking to my friend, and she asked me how I was doing and all that good stuff. I asked her how she was handle the situation, can't remember fully but it sounded like she was struggling also, whatever she said it made me feel ok knowing that she is going through the same thing as me. then I told her that I will call her back when I get home, I just got home and I am not going to call tonight. She has done plenty for me and I did alot for her, she used to call 5am, 3am 12pm no matter what time I was always there.

 

I tried hard today to flush her from my head and I think that I have succeed 80 o/o, I've been look at other girls and Saturday I'm going to the club with my friend. I believe that she Loves me deeply and I think that your're right that she need time and the time tha she is spending in NY is good and when she returns I home it will start to mend things. I speak like I was ok, I told her that I am pretty busy and stuff like that, try to sound cool but not that cool.

 

If she calls tomorrow should I answer?

I think that I'm going to call Friday.

[Bubbles]

Yes, of course answer! You want to talk to her right?

I guarantee that if you give HER choices......she will be back! You have to admit.......she is calling you more frequently and that's good right?

 

Sounds to me like she just needed a break. You hang in there

 

Bubbles

[BAJI]

Thanks Bubbles I will let you know how it goes today, please check back on me today I will post later if she calls. But since I told her yesturday that I was going to call when I got home but didn't, should I call her before she call me or should I just wait to see if she is going to call???

 

Is there anything that I can do for you? I deal with Programs and computers, just place your requst.

[Bubbles]

No I'm good over here Baji. I only have access to the internet here at work and we have a pretty large department to look after my needs.....but thank you non-the-less!

 

Yes, I think you should call her. you said that you would. Be happy and earnest when you speak to her. make sure there is a smile on your face (people can hear your smile in your voice) and keep the conversation light. I hope she is happy to hear from you BAJI......you sure do love this girl!

 

I'll be here when you need me. We're all here for you!

 

Bubbles

[BAJI]

I called her this morning didn't get her, while I was speaking to my sister on my mother's phone she called and I told her that I will call her back. When I got home I calle and she said that she will call me back she is sleeping, so I just have to wait til she calls, and I will answer. I sent her somemore funny cartoons movies through email and I hope that wasn't a mistake and it is one step closer to win her back, she love my humor before but through all the stuff that happened I guess I lost it and now I'm trying to re-gain it.

[Bubbles]

Good Stuff!

 

Patience is the key. Don't call her anmore today, let her call you. Let her make the decision on the phone calls.

Sending funny e-mails is cute, there is nothing wrong with that at all - just do not send more than 2-3 in a week.

Remember, you do not want to appear needy. You are doing great BAJI!

 

 

Bubbles

[BAJI]

As soon as I press send on that last post she called, we spoke for about 38 minutes where she did most of the talking. Talking about her little couson and how much weight she gained and lost, I asked her if she gained weight in her ba donk ka donk and she laugh matter of a fact she laugh and a couple of things that I said. About 1/2 way through the conversation I told her that I have to go and she asked why and I said don't worry and we continued to talk and I then said the I have to go out which I don't, and I ask her if she is going to call or should I and she said I should.

 

My question, should I call back or not? If I do would that be being to avaible?

I don't want to mess up and I want her to want me and miss me. Guide me. Bubbles...

[Bubbles]

BAJI,

 

Wow! You two had really great conversation! And that's what a relationship is all about isn't it?

 

Yes, you call her. You let her lead (so to speak) and I'm sure that things will fall into place for the both of you.

 

It sounds as though you two are having good conversation. Keep it that way

 

Bubbles

[BAJI]

I didn't call her back last night, should I wait today for her to call or should I just call?

She spoke like if nothing had changed and I hope that is not my mind thinking this but I felt really good and hopeful, I wish and hope that alittle time off is what she needed, I just checked my email and she returned a funny email to me, Bubbles I hope this is a good sign that she still wants to be with me, you are experienced what do you think the odds are that she will come back to me? Thanxx in advance!

[Bubbles]

If she is responding to your e-mails and asking you to call her.........I'd say your love woes are essentially over - (I think she's on her way back to you). Just remember though - don't depend on her too much, if she offers to help you that's a different story but do your best to be independant. Never forget how she wanted her "time away" and how that feels to be apart from her. I guess what I am trying to say is this: make sure you show her how much you really do appreciate her. Say those exact words to her "I appreciate you.......:)" people need to hear those things and they need to feel it also. It's much better to be appreciated than depended on.

 

 

I'm really happy for you BAJI!

 

 

Bubbles.

[BAJI]

I thank you very much Bubbles, I'm really grateful for all that you have done for me, I sure hope that this is all what is happening, I am going to try and get employment (back injuries and waiting for disabilty) and I am going to romance her take her out, walk on the beach, some dancing if I'm able, I am glad for the break-up because it opened my eyes and I found out things that I didn't realize that was going on, but I only hope that it will come back together (she coming back to me) I really do LOVE HER, matter of fact I'm IN LOVE with her. I will treat her like I did and better the the first time we started out. I will post again when I call or she calls. Check back in periodically. Thanxxx Bubbles! Thanxxx!

 

Anyone that is in my similar situation can read these post because I posted everything that happened and I was feeling so I hope this will help others.

 

Bubbles may the Lord bless you. You seem to be a good person.

[BAJI]

I am feeling extremely nervous and stressed because I know that she is coming on Sunday and I am hoping that she comes wanting to start things over. I am so so nervous, I called today and she said that she was shoping, I told her to call me when she gets home that I have to go, well she did and we spoke for a little and I said that I was going and she ask why, so I told her that I was a Home Depot and I'll call her whin I get home.

 

I called her when I got to my friends house and I called her back and she said that she couldn't talk now (before we broke up she use to tell me that and explained that she don't like talking when her cousin come home), so I said oookkkk and she hung up. Man this thing is eating me out, she seems real friendly to me and I don't know if she wants to get back.

 

I think she might really just want to be friends but I wouldn't know until she returns when I see her in person and feel things out.

 

Any advice? What should I do?

 

I think that I will try to kiss her and if she accepts I will take that as a positive sign.

[jw32802]

why did she break up with you to begin with? Was it because of the way you treated her? or did you break it off first.

[BAJI]

Well the night before thursday she went out, she usually call and tell me where she is but she didn't, before she left she told me that she was meeting her cousins at the mall. 1am in the morning and I call all the numbers that I had of her, I was worried wanted to know what was going on, I finally got hold of her and she said that she had just gotton home, after 2am, she told me that they we to the movies, mall, dinner, and to the NY city and then came home. Friday morning she told me that I shouldn't have called those #s people started to call and ask her what was going on and she had to take all the heat from me calling her aunt which I didn't know I did, and her other cousin.

 

Then we had a little argument, I said that if she had called me that I wouldn't have done it and that she is more concern how others feel not how I did, that after all of that she said that she can't put up with it anymore and she said that it was over, and that she also said that she wanted to date other people and have fun. On that Monday she emailed me if we were meant to be together then we will and if not it wasn't, no hard feelings, she wasn't upset with me. She called everyday this week and we spoke like nothing had happened, nothing about the relationship though. She laughed at what I said and it felt good, many times I wanted to ask her about us but I didn't, now she is returning Sunday and it is killing me , I thought that I had progressed alittle but it is tearing me up inside. I really want her back.

 

We started the relationship out wrong, we tried to hide it and that put alot of stress on both of us especially me, but now we don't have to, most people knows now. Can some one tell me if it is likely that she is going to go on dates or come back to me??

[BAJI]

Any help guys? Any advice?

[BAJI]

Well today is Sunday and she called when she got to Ft Lauderdale airport, told me that she was late that's why she couldn't call from NY airport, she said sorry, then she said that she is going to call me back. My sister just came home and she said that she spoke to her and she came in another car not a taxi. Probably one of her friends. My heart is going crazy, I haven't seen her in 5 weeks 2 in which she broke up with me. Man I can't wait to see her but I'm going to wait until she calls or comes, I just want to hug her and squeeze her. I LOVE that girl. I'm shaking like a leaf.

 

Well, any responce would be just fine right about now.

[BAJI]

Well, after she went upstairs she came down like in 15 minutes and came in side, I was sitting at the computer and she came behind me, I got up and we hugged each other tight, very tight for about a min or so, then we kissed on the lips and continue to hug.

 

We started to talk, she looked so beautiful, 5 weeks I didn't see her, I told her eyes looked like glass. We then move to the bedroom door where we talked and huged somemore, I touched her all over, hair, hands stomach etc. When she hugged she put he face into my neck, when we didn't talk she went into a daze like she was thinking, she looked hurt, like if she is battling her feelings.

 

Then she said that she was hungry so she is ready to go eat at home ( her mother cooked) we went to the door and we hugged again and I tried to kiss her on her lips again and she was coming for it then she said that we aren't together anymore in a low voice, tears fell from my eyes and she wiped the of and said don't cry in a caring way, I said I'm not, it was mixed feelings, glad to see her, wanted to be with her etc.

 

I asked her to call me later and I need to talk to her and get stuff off of my chest, she said tomorrow. She called me around 1am and we spoke for a bit and she said she was going to sleep, bye. That's it... Now it's the next day when we are going to talk.

 

Wish me the best, I want us to be together again. I LOVE HER and in LOVE with her.

[BAJI]

Well guys, She came today and we talked, I told her everything that was on my chest and she started to tear-up alittle, why I was the way I was in the relationship (depression). I asked her if she loved me and she said no then I asked her again and she said that she didn't know. I asked her if she thinks that we will be together again , she said she didn't think about it, I ask her to give it a thought and she said yes.

 

I ask her if she would feel away if I had sex with someone else and she didn't want to answer, I told her that I would feel back if she did with someone else. I told her that I will remain celebate, she said yeah right and I asked if she will, she said she don't know, if she meet somone and she really liked him she might not. I asked her to be celebate and she said ok. I said that I feel deep down the lord will bring us together again and because of a vision I had.

 

We are "best friends" now and I think it will lead further eventually in a matter of months. Whenever I see her face I start to smile and then she starts to. She also said that it was the constant phone calls when she was in NY that cause it along with I think she said wanted to go out with her friends.

 

I explained that I had gotton over my depression and that was the cause of all the disagreements we had and trying to keep the realationship secretive took away the affection, mostly public.

 

Well, I wish someone here would share their thoughts and opinions with me and maybe what should I do to get her back.

[BAJI]

Ok, I've been hanging out with my ex of 4 weeks, she come backe with a new phone she told me that its on a family plan with her cousin and their best friend (guy). Every hour of everyday he's calling her and she is returning the call and also her cousin calls also, she didn't give me her #, she said that those are the only 2 people that have the # but later she said that her other cousin gave another guy her #, and this other guy that likes her has it also but I don't.

 

She told me that the only reason that she broke up with me because when she was in NY I was calling 2 much, if she said that she will call me in 10 mins and 20mins go by I would call her, I think that is BS. I think that she is so infatuated with money and shopping and all other material stuff that she got up there, her cousin and friends catered to all her need, bought her whatever she wants and took her everywhere, kinda like spoiling her and all she can talk about is NY, the expensive resturants she went and what people bought her. None of this I really able to do since I am waiting for disability.

 

She said that she don't want to go back in the relationship the way it was and find it hard to believe that I have changed so soon and said she don't see us tohether riht now but maybe in time when she see the difference. Whenever I say something regarding talking to girls, she seem jealous, asking me detailed questions about the girl, name, age, address etc. One of the girls I told her about she asked where I met her I told her 4th july and she said that I told her before tha she shouldn't give the # but take theirs, I said that I was trying to get my mind off the situation and I told her that she did things to do the same and she said who said that I was hurting, in a defensive way.

 

What do you guys think about this?

Do you think that time will change her back? Take the NY out of her?

 

I think she is still fighting between her heart and her brain ( feelings for me and her experences in NY)

 

Advice needed Please!

[RoboHobo]

BAJI, I'm sorry that you are hurting so much. Please slow down though, you love her which is great but you need to be able to take care of yourself. It's possible that she was lured by the glamour of NY. I really doubt it though. She loved you at one point and she might still love, but she doesn't know at the moment. You are way to dependent on her, give her some breathing room for a while. Not seeing each other for a while is okay, it doesn't mean that you will loose her. I only joined the site yesterday, and have only read this thread today, but what scares me is that you tried to OD. You may have done it to call for attention, the method taking pills is usually an indication of this, but there are deep rooted problems within you that you need to resolve. Being in a relationship your partner will try to be there to help you work through the problem, but they are only there to help. You are the one who needs to fix them. Depending on another person for your entire happiness is an unfair way to treat them. It is far too much pressure for them to take. I think that she need some space to enjoy her life and that is way she is distancing herself from you. She obviously cares deeply for you, why else would she phone so often? So, maybe there is a future for you guys, first overcome your issues though. She'll appreciate you for it, and it will make any relationship you have in the future a much healthier one, whether it's with her or another person.

[BAJI]

She came by this morning and asked why I didn't pick the phone when she called, I told her that I wasn't home and she asked where I was and I told her I was at my friend, she started to jump up and laught expressing happiness, I asked her if she was really happy, she said no. We spoke for a bit.

 

Then we went in the kitchen she and she pulled her shorts up in the back like a thong and I smacked the butt, then she asked me to show her how big my P_n_S had gotton, she wanted to see it and I said let me see how fat your stuff is and she pulled her shorts up to show me the imprint and then she said let me see it now I lower my pants not my boxers and she still wanted to see I told her no,. When she was leaving and walking down the hall, I kissed at her and she send one back the she tlod me do it again and she raised her shorts laughting and I told her go and get ready.

 

Someone tell me what to make of this?

What's going on?

What should I do?

[Mr messed up]

I think i am missing something here? !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[RoboHobo]

Yeah, that is very odd!

 

It sounds like she want sex though, if she wanted a committed relationship i don't think she would have approached the subject like this. It's up to you to decide what you want, if you want a committed relationship I would say that sleeping with her now would guarantee that you wont have one. If you just want to have some fun and you are okay with it then it's your choice.

 

In my opinion I think that sleeping with her now is just going to hurt you more.

[BAJI]

This sh*t is driving me crazy, yesturday she was kinda affectionate, holding my fingure and stuff like that. Today she informs me that she is leave for NY again to finish her summer vacation, her cousin bought the ticket. NO consideration for my feelings, she is so consumed with being catered to, she says in a joking manner that she don't work anymore then smiled and said that she has to find a job. She bearly register for college this week and in a wink of an eye heading back to NY, what the he*l. Does this girl love me, playing with me, just need time or what. Its hard for me to let go and give up hope that we will get back together because I really Love her, but this is ridiculous.

 

Guys tell me honestly what in world should I do, tell me. One more month till she starts college, one would think that one would spend that moth to prepare everything one need to enter the world, but this gir has one thing on her mind, NY and all the got there. Does she has a man there? I am puzzled. I'll talk later please advice needed.