AllieKat Posted June 18, 2012 Posted June 18, 2012 Has anyone had success with the 180? If so any tips or suggestions? How long did it take?
jaymz Posted June 19, 2012 Posted June 19, 2012 If you mean by "success" getting your SO back then you are missing the point of the 180. Read through the 30 odd items each day. Actually try and do them! Easier said than done, I know, but its the first steps on you concentrating on YOU and getting YOU moving in the right direction. It feels counter intuitive, but whats more attractive so your SO?
K Os Posted June 19, 2012 Posted June 19, 2012 Success? Well, kind of. After trying and trying to persuade my wife to stay, dragging her to counselling, etc. and being treated really badly, I read the 180 and started applying as many elements of it as I could while we still (in theory anyway) live under the same roof. Results that I can point to are: she realised I was serious about refusing to move out, and finally agreed to go herself; she treats me with a lot more respect, civility and self-control; and she told me a week or so ago, for the first time since last August, that she still loves me. Indications of a change of heart? Not completely, but they're there. She is still moving out, though... Once she's moved, I'm going to keep on the same track, apart from on childcare and money issues, and for those it's going to be civil emails. Strictly arm's length.
kallen84 Posted June 20, 2012 Posted June 20, 2012 Where can i find the guide at i did a search and nothing came back for me?
trippi1432 Posted June 20, 2012 Posted June 20, 2012 Where can i find the guide at i did a search and nothing came back for me? You can find it here...but, it is just as much about you finding yourself. If done from a selfish place, manipulation and martyrdom..you reap what you sow. If done because you want and need to move on to a better place in your life, then it's a contradiction to what feels right, but a change that will benefit you in the long run. 180 Healing
M30USA Posted June 20, 2012 Posted June 20, 2012 180 is a great idea and all, but not everyone has the right to do it. What do I mean? Well, take the example of a physically abusive person who believes the other person deserved it and therefore won't apologize and expects the other person to apologize even though they, themselves, were violent...would you encourage this abuser to do a 180? Thats the problem. Doing a 180 implies the other person is wrong or unfair. And the very nature of abusers is they NEVER see their own fault. So how many abusers have been told to do a 180 because they present their situation in a twisted reversed way? Just a thought. Some people shouldn't do 180s, they just do "zeros"--ie, apologize and run after their spouse.
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