Nukem Posted June 18, 2012 Posted June 18, 2012 I will start with a quotation from another thread from another forum: "There is a saying in the Bible that if one is to find life, he must first lose it." As some of you know I got divorced on 10th May, 2 days before my 10th anniversary. After the DD there were some LC days. After that we started sending each other music links from youtube. Gradually our relations improved. We had arguments and I insulted her a bit. I think the real improvement began around 3th June. On that date was my birthday. She accepted my invitation and we celebrated in a restaurant with a few friends. She gave me two Nike t-shirts and sport socks exactly the same gift in the same colours as the previous year After the birthday she asked me to wake up them in he morning during the weekends. So I was doing this and later in the morning I was taking the girl and we started our usual sport and English lessons. My ex began to join us at lunch and dinner. We ate out two weekends in a row Last week we watched movie at cinema. Today she and our daughter set off to the seaside. 1-2 weeks ago she invited me to join them. She has a flat at the seaside and we are going to share one room, I hope. I remember she asked me several times if I hadn't made up my mind. We phoned each other many times a day, hope it is for good.
Author Nukem Posted June 30, 2012 Author Posted June 30, 2012 The seaside vacation went well. Three of us spent quality time. Yesterday before setting off for a business trip I bought her a bucket of sunflowers and I left it in front of her front door, because she didn't answer my phone calls. It was great mistake. She called me half an hour later and said "We are not a couple. Why do you do those things. You frighten me. We talked about this many times and you continue doing this things." A bit later she again called me "I cannot answer to your feeling and it is killing me". I phoned her at 10.30 pm and she didn't answer. It looks like I ruined my chances. I hope she is not with the OM. I'm going to follow an advice of forum member and will quit my calls for awhile
Author Nukem Posted July 12, 2012 Author Posted July 12, 2012 I'm at the seaside with my daughter since July 1. My ex wife calls me 3-4 times a day while we are here. Our vacation is going well, but I feel by the tone of the voice her voice that my ex is distant. She almost do not use my name. Today she called me with my pet name. She hasn't done this for 2-3 weeks. Alas later I left my mobile phones in the flat. I was by the swimming pool and my daughter was playing around with other kids. During this time period (30 or 40 min) my ex had called me up. When I got my phones there were 8 missed calls on my primary phone and 6 missed calls on my second phone which is dedicated only for her. She had called her brother and her father and they had called me up also to check what is happening. She had panicked and she had alarmed her relatives. When I called her back she was angry and told me off with angry voice. I calmed her down that everything is fine and we are OK. But the bad deed was done. Several lessons I learned so far: PRAY FOR MY MARRIAGE 1. Actions speak louder than words 2. Nothing is more important than the family 3. Nothing great in life comes without sacrifice 4. I need to remember to watch what she does not what she says 5. Keep doing more of what works and less of what doesn't 6. Do not miss any special event of my daughter 7. Use any possible moment to spend quality time with them 8. Do not tell her "I love you, "I miss you" at this stage. 9. Always answer her calls 10. Being needy is not attractive
Author Nukem Posted July 14, 2012 Author Posted July 14, 2012 As our daughter is ill me and my ex phone each other more often. We discuss her status and how to treat her. Today is my last day at the seaside. Tomorrow I am going back home. Her grandma and grandpa will take care about her for one more week at the sea.
Author Nukem Posted July 14, 2012 Author Posted July 14, 2012 Yesterday I had a talk with a mutual friend. She thinks that I shouldn't give up.
Radu Posted July 14, 2012 Posted July 14, 2012 Nukem, what country are you from ? Also, have you always been a doormat for women or did things change with this one ?
Author Nukem Posted July 15, 2012 Author Posted July 15, 2012 (edited) Nukem, what country are you from ? Also, have you always been a doormat for women or did things change with this one ? Hey, Radu. I am from EU. I am not a doormat. I decided to love my ex unconditionally. I made a lot of mistakes and I am trying to reconcile. She was angry because our daughter is 9 y old and we rarely let her play outside without supervision. And my ex didn't know that I was supervising the kid periodically. Her first thought was that our daughter had lost and that's why she was so scared and angry. I didn’t realize the sacrifices and work that having a family takes. I have to be much more responsible in the future. Edited July 15, 2012 by Nukem
Author Nukem Posted July 17, 2012 Author Posted July 17, 2012 In Sunday I met my ex. She was gorgeous and sexy. I gave her a delivery from amazon and asked her what was the problem with her attitude towards me, was the fault mine. She answered "So So" but didn't explain exactly what I did wrong to deteriorate our communication. Later the same day I phoned her and asked again. She got annoyed and answered "Do not manipulate me. I don't want o speak now, when I am willing I will". Yesterday she phoned me to tell me that our girl has a little health problem. We discussed it and hung up.
Author Nukem Posted July 17, 2012 Author Posted July 17, 2012 I've just called her. Me: What are you doing? She: I am having dinner with my friend D. (she is a girl) We talked a bit for our girl health problems, discussed the sneakers of which she had sent me a link earlier today. She: I am going to the seaside in Friday and we will get back in Tuesday. Me: I would bring you there with my car, it would be cheaper. But you prefer going on your own... She: Yes, I prefer going alone.
Author Nukem Posted July 18, 2012 Author Posted July 18, 2012 Today we talked 4 times about our girl, the news, her registration in amazon, music links which I had sent her etc. We met and I gave her a t-shirt for our daughter. She was warmer than usual.
Author Nukem Posted July 21, 2012 Author Posted July 21, 2012 She is at the seaside with our daughter. We called each other 2-3 times a day, mostly I call her. She emailed me photos of our girl and youtube link. I also send her regularly music links.
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