roshni.agarwal Posted June 18, 2012 Posted June 18, 2012 hi.. i am handicapp girl walking with sticks.. at the place my treatment is going on..... i met one guy and that guy proposed me, at first i said no because of my disability but when he assures me that he will marry me, i accepted, but after some while talking over the phone he said to me that his family members , his friends won't accept me and we broke but again when i went to hospital for treatment he came across and we started talking to each other and united but again after a month he broke up with me... i broke up completely mentally and emotionally. After a two months of NC he messaged me and asked that r u alright... i said yes...i kept him in facebook with the hope that he will come back to me but he is adding more and more girls on facebook and it doesnt seem that he is caring enough so in anger i deleted him on facebook which is only window.... and now m feeling devasted..... i am crying a lot and i dont know what to do!! i am feeling more that he left me because of my disability which is actually true coz he told me clearly that his mom wont accept me coz of my diability.... please suggest me something.... i dont know what to do! his birthday is coming next month....
BetheButterfly Posted June 18, 2012 Posted June 18, 2012 hi.. i am handicapp girl walking with sticks.. at the place my treatment is going on..... i met one guy and that guy proposed me, at first i said no because of my disability but when he assures me that he will marry me, i accepted, but after some while talking over the phone he said to me that his family members , his friends won't accept me and we broke but again when i went to hospital for treatment he came across and we started talking to each other and united but again after a month he broke up with me... i broke up completely mentally and emotionally. After a two months of NC he messaged me and asked that r u alright... i said yes...i kept him in facebook with the hope that he will come back to me but he is adding more and more girls on facebook and it doesnt seem that he is caring enough so in anger i deleted him on facebook which is only window.... and now m feeling devasted..... i am crying a lot and i dont know what to do!! i am feeling more that he left me because of my disability which is actually true coz he told me clearly that his mom wont accept me coz of my diability.... please suggest me something.... i dont know what to do! his birthday is coming next month.... Roshni, Life and love can be difficult sometimes, for everybody. If he truly loves you, he will seek you. If he doesn't, I don't think he is truly meant for you. There are wonderful people on earth who love people no matter if they have a disability or not. If his family would not accept you just because you have a disability, then I seriously question their integrity. Disabilities can happen to anybody. One second one can be fine. The next second they can become paralyzed. Life is not certain or sure or fair in many areas. Innocent people get hurt by natural causes/tragedies, carelessness of others, or acts of deliberate harm by others. So, please do not let one family's lack of understanding hurt you. Please instead find people who understand that all people are wonderful and amazing and do not judge people by events beyond their control. I am sorry you are hurt by this man and his family. If he doesn't come back, don't give up hope. There are wonderful men, with wonderful families, who accept wonderful women how they are, and do not judge them by any disability. Don't give up on love!!!! As for this guy, don't seek him. If he truly loves you, he will seek you. Instead of focusing on him, focus on the fact that you are worthy of love, and help others who are sad. That will help you prepare for a man who loves you no matter what!!! 1
Eddie Edirol Posted June 18, 2012 Posted June 18, 2012 Dont feel bad, you did the right thing. You have to delete him for your emotional well being, and since he broke up with you twice, you already know there is no window, because his words didnt match his actions, you just have to come to terms with it. He had an agenda, which I think is just to get laid, and when you didnt give in to that agenda quickly, he moved on. If he was really into you, he would have made it work. So dont worry, you arent missing out on anything, and you dont want someone like that in your life. 2
Author roshni.agarwal Posted June 18, 2012 Author Posted June 18, 2012 Thanks for reply! I am feeling little relaxed reading replies, I really loved him his birthday is coming..... All this things he did but still I feel like to call him and wish him.... Should i call him or just email him or text him??
BetheButterfly Posted June 18, 2012 Posted June 18, 2012 (edited) Thanks for reply! I am feeling little relaxed reading replies, I really loved him his birthday is coming..... All this things he did but still I feel like to call him and wish him.... Should i call him or just email him or text him?? I don't think it'd be a good idea for you to call him. I am sure that's not what you want to read, but that's what I think. It might just hurt you more to hear his voice or write him. What could be a good alternative is to write him a letter and NOT send it... write him a happy birthday card, DON'T send it, and if he contacts you, then give it to him, yeah? Please don't put your hope on him contacting you though. Please instead allow your heart to heal. Going on a rollercoaster ride of highs of hope plummeting to lows of despair/pain can really hurt your physical health as well as emotional health. Please instead of focusing on him, get involved with people who are understanding and love you, not on people who have issues with you for whatever reason, k? So, if you feel you have to acknowledge his birthday, yeah go ahead and write, but don't send. If he contacts you, then send, k? That's of course my advice and you can take it or leave it. I just write this cause I don't want you to go through more hurt on account of this man. I know from experience that it hurts to write or call a person I love, and for that person not to reciprocate my love. However, I have known for the past almost 2 years a wonderful man who loves me, no matter what, and who I love. So, there are definitely happy futures, even after pain. Don't give up on love! I had to give up on the idea of a specific man loving me, but I found even more amazing love with the man who is now my husband!!! So, it wasn't love that was the problem, but rather some people are just not the right fit with each other. Now, I am so grateful that it did not work out with the man who didn't love me. Edited June 18, 2012 by BetheButterfly 1
mortensorchid Posted June 18, 2012 Posted June 18, 2012 You did the right thing unfriending him. If he and/or his friends/family cannot accept you because of your disability, then they are not worth your time. If he wants to just be friendly towards you that's fine, but this man sounds like he has some kind of conditional situation towards you. Someone will love you despite the fact that you have a disability. Years ago, I was going out with someone who said that this was not going to be a permenant situation if I did not quit smoking and loose weight. After I had dropped about 30 of the 45 lbs I would eventually loose, and quitting for about 4 or 5 weeks, he was furious at me. Why? It took me too long to do it. I was flabergasted. About a year later, he met and married another woman. His marriage is now over because his wife probably experienced something conditional as well. Move on.
TheFinalWord Posted June 18, 2012 Posted June 18, 2012 After a two months of NC he messaged me and asked that r u alright... i said yes...i kept him in facebook with the hope that he will come back to me but he is adding more and more girls on facebook and it doesnt seem that he is caring enough so in anger i deleted him on facebook which is only window.... and now m feeling devasted..... i am crying a lot and i dont know what to do!! i am feeling more that he left me because of my disability which is actually true coz he told me clearly that his mom wont accept me coz of my diability.... please suggest me something.... i dont know what to do! his birthday is coming next month.... This guy is a real loser. I'm sorry, but you have enough going on in your life. He has to inflict emotional trauma on you? You have enough going on in your life Don't worry that something you did in response was wrong. Personally I think you should block him on FB. I know some people think it is "weak" to do that, but if you break up with someone you are saying you don't want them in your life. Why is it weak to not want them on your facebook? It hurt to delete him b/c a lot of times we use social media to "hang on" to people that are no good for us. And we use it to see what they are up to. I think you are strong for doing so. Up until that point, he had all of the power to hurt you. You took the final step and now cut him out of your life. It is okay to be hurt for doing that, but mentally it was healthy for you. Your heart was telling you to do that. It's what is best in the long run I hope you get better soon. 1
Author roshni.agarwal Posted June 19, 2012 Author Posted June 19, 2012 yes i know in heart sometimes i think i have done the right thing deleting him.... but in the end i know that i love him more then anything else and all the i am thinking as if there any way that i can get him back... when we were together he told me to add some of his very close friends in my facebook account i dont that but when now i deleted him but i havenot deleted his friend... do i need to delete them too? btw i am not talking to any of them now sometimes they just say hi hello...
Author roshni.agarwal Posted June 19, 2012 Author Posted June 19, 2012 I don't think it'd be a good idea for you to call him. I am sure that's not what you want to read, but that's what I think. It might just hurt you more to hear his voice or write him. What could be a good alternative is to write him a letter and NOT send it... write him a happy birthday card, DON'T send it, and if he contacts you, then give it to him, yeah? Please don't put your hope on him contacting you though. Please instead allow your heart to heal. Going on a rollercoaster ride of highs of hope plummeting to lows of despair/pain can really hurt your physical health as well as emotional health. Please instead of focusing on him, get involved with people who are understanding and love you, not on people who have issues with you for whatever reason, k? So, if you feel you have to acknowledge his birthday, yeah go ahead and write, but don't send. If he contacts you, then send, k? That's of course my advice and you can take it or leave it. I just write this cause I don't want you to go through more hurt on account of this man. I know from experience that it hurts to write or call a person I love, and for that person not to reciprocate my love. However, I have known for the past almost 2 years a wonderful man who loves me, no matter what, and who I love. So, there are definitely happy futures, even after pain. Don't give up on love! I had to give up on the idea of a specific man loving me, but I found even more amazing love with the man who is now my husband!!! So, it wasn't love that was the problem, but rather some people are just not the right fit with each other. Now, I am so grateful that it did not work out with the man who didn't love me. i know i should not call him after what he did to me... but still i feel like to call him on his birthday, i dont know why may be cause just a last hope may be he talk something about our relationship! i think he dint even notice that i deleted him or may be he doesnt bother even after knowing it, please tell me that to call him for the last chance.... i dont know please
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