firehawk_1 Posted June 18, 2012 Posted June 18, 2012 so this woman ive been getting along with for a little over a month.... seems odd right now. we got a really good deep connection but havent met yet and was due to meet this person next month. she seems ok but has had an unfortunate bad past. I know, stay away right? But im different..... anyway, so I get informed by her "sister" that she collapsed and she is in hospital and she told her to email me to tell me this. I said thanks, wish her the best from me and hope to speak to her soon. I dont know her sister.... so then she (her sister) gets into these wierd things like saying that I am no good, I could be a sexual predetor etc... - all these bad accusations and I dont like or appreciate that. I just reply back saying that I dont know what she is talking about and that its unfair and unnecessary to jump to conclusions especially when she doesnt know me and that she had no permission to browse through her sisters inbox of emails and that she is going to tell her that I am going to dump her and "what a shame" it is that I would do that and that I should stay away and should "bow down" when I was given a chance to "back off" (this was literally 1 email before this outburst). All this has been her sister whats going on here? im so confused. after everything me and her have talked about, planning, arranging etc.... she said I gave her hope, another chance etc.... what should I do? it just makes no sense why someone, a complete and utter stranger would do this.
Emilia Posted June 18, 2012 Posted June 18, 2012 I think I wouldn't reply, maybe she is baiting you. Who knows who this person really is, it's best to ignore that email. Can you get in touch with the woman you get on with?
Mme. Chaucer Posted June 18, 2012 Posted June 18, 2012 You have enough red flags to send you catapulting into another universe. Didn't you just a week or 2 ago spend thousands of dollars on a trip to meet some woman who then … changed her mind about meeting you, or something? Stop getting so wrapped up with people you haven't met. It's unhealthy. 2
Emilia Posted June 18, 2012 Posted June 18, 2012 I think I wouldn't reply, maybe she is baiting you. Who knows who this person really is, it's best to ignore that email. Can you get in touch with the woman you get on with? I must have misread the original post, I thought it was just the sister communicating while the woman is in hospital
Mme. Chaucer Posted June 18, 2012 Posted June 18, 2012 its unhealthy but heres what girls don't get. guys whos had little success in the past are shunned by girls. when one of these guys gets what even looks like a nibble, its human nature to go for it. Girls too. Still, it's possible to develop healthy boundaries and to learn how to take care of oneself in spite of challenges. 1
Author firehawk_1 Posted June 18, 2012 Author Posted June 18, 2012 thanks all. I can only wait and see if the girl will have some common sense an figure out what happened after she gets out of hospital. we speak every day and skype almost every day. at least 3 times a week and emails too and that is healthy enough. its better than 1 email in a bluemoon and then to be forgotten. she isnt baiting, i know this given her life and schedule but also that she said she is devoted to me. we spoke about all these things so I know the story there. but the fact remains, why are some people like this? every corner, every where I turn.... some crap somewhere. its a sick joke to be fair
HeavenOrHell Posted June 18, 2012 Posted June 18, 2012 I wouldn't use the word 'devotion' until you've actually met. Learn from past mistakes. thanks all. I can only wait and see if the girl will have some common sense an figure out what happened after she gets out of hospital. we speak every day and skype almost every day. at least 3 times a week and emails too and that is healthy enough. its better than 1 email in a bluemoon and then to be forgotten. she isnt baiting, i know this given her life and schedule but also that she said she is devoted to me. we spoke about all these things so I know the story there. but the fact remains, why are some people like this? every corner, every where I turn.... some crap somewhere. its a sick joke to be fair 1
Author firehawk_1 Posted June 18, 2012 Author Posted June 18, 2012 no past mistakes. and I never said devotion... also note this wasnt quite the original problem
Mme. Chaucer Posted June 18, 2012 Posted June 18, 2012 no past mistakes. and I never said devotion... also note this wasnt quite the original problem Yes, you just did. And do you not consider spending $4000 for a visit with a distant online person that never happened to be a "mistake"? 1
Author firehawk_1 Posted June 18, 2012 Author Posted June 18, 2012 sounds like you just arent getting the whole thing. so what you are saying is, dont ever bother. just be single. dont try. dont do anything. dont have happiness. sorry, but im not you. and I never spent money on this person, yet. nor was the question of $4000 ever raised here.
Mme. Chaucer Posted June 18, 2012 Posted June 18, 2012 sounds like you just arent getting the whole thing. so what you are saying is, dont ever bother. just be single. dont try. dont do anything. dont have happiness. No, that is absolutely NOT what I am saying. I am saying (pretty clearly) that: 1) there are tremendous red flags here. 2) getting deeply emotionally invested before you have met AND spent some time in person with someone is not wise. and I never spent money on this person, yet. nor was the question of $4000 ever raised here. "Learn from past mistakes" means to apply experiences you've had in prior situations with different people to current ones. If your thread about the $4000 was non-fiction, then you got way ahead of yourself and / or did not heed signs in a previous online meeting.
Author firehawk_1 Posted June 18, 2012 Author Posted June 18, 2012 *sigh* ok i give up. sorry for even posting here.
InJest Posted June 18, 2012 Posted June 18, 2012 You lose all credibility when you start talking about this deep connection you have with someone you've never met. We're saying give it up because this is a hopeless, lost cause. If a girl doesn't want to meet up within a week or two, she's not interested and using you for attention.
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