cjuarez1991 Posted June 18, 2012 Posted June 18, 2012 Ok so my bf and i have been dating for 11 months; we moved in together in march. From the start of the reationship i knew he had a thing for Asians (as in he likes,Asians thinks their hot etc) for a few months he even had a picture of asian girls as his wall paper on his phone. It did not bother me much cause it was the begging of the relationship. One time as we were still getting to know one another he made a comment that bothered me but I never spoke out about it since we were still getting to know one another, he said "you are so perfect thatif you were Asian I would marry you right now" (pretty hash huh since im Hispanic). Well there's more we got over the whole thing cause he "fell completely in love with me" as he described it, but then came the issue of PORN, it didnt bother me I even watched it with him, or i was aware of him watching it when we were not around each other. Until he he started saying things like "She has perfect boobs" or "shes cute I'm a sucker for colored hair", things like that are sure as hell going to make me mad and/or make me a bit insecure.We spoke about that and he admitted it was wrong of him to make those comments, and we agreed to him doing his thing when I'm not around. So after getting over all that we move in which of course I see no need in him having to watch porn that's what I'm there for RIGHT???? WRONG I end up finding pictures of girls on his SD card and I confront him; at first he denies it says he doesn't know how they got on there blah blah blah finally after so much arguing he admits that he went on some app on his phone "sexy girls puzzles" the thing about it is it had to be of only Asian girls. For some reason all of thiss hurt a lot, and I honestly didn't get over it even though we stopped arguing about it. All this crap has ended up makeing me so insecure about myself for example at the beginning of the relationship I wasn't insecure at all I never noticed him looking at other women while we were out (not sure if that's cause he didn't do it or if its cause it didnt bother me weather he did or not) but now all I do when we are out is look at him to see if hes checking out girls. I do this so much that its a constant argument. One time it got so bad that he said "you know what there is sexy girls out there and I'm going to look at them, your just going to have to get over it cause theres sexier girls than you get over it". All this has made our relationship bad and has made me someone I wasn't 11 months ago; I'm full of insecurities; in which he complains about but I've told him when he complains about it that he has made me this way.Just recently our last fight (yesterday)really crushed me , he ended up screaming "OK well I love Asians wth do you want me to do about it." that fight I pretty much summed it all up the Asian thing, the porn , the checking out other girls in public, and i told him how i felt that thanks to everything he has said to me and done I'm not comfortable being naked around him, that hes made me feel like I'm not good enough for him, and like he wants something other then me. I just don't know what to do anymore;he says he loves me and that if he wanted anyone else he'd leave me and be with someone else, but i still cant help but feeling broken, after so much that has been said I cant help feeling like I'm not good enough. What am i suppose to do to get over it? How do I let all this go and start fresh when all this still hurts so bad? Am I over exaggerating this ?or should i be this hurt? I need someones pov
Philosoraptor Posted June 18, 2012 Posted June 18, 2012 I will say it's good that he was open with you. But he ended up being quite a dick about it to put it simply. He doesn't seem to have much in the way of sympathy or empathy. Why would you continue to put up with this? 1
Eternal Sunshine Posted June 18, 2012 Posted June 18, 2012 OMG! I don't care how nicely this guy treats you otherwise, I don't care if he won the Nobel peace prize, this post is enough information for me to tell you to GET THE F... OUT! 1
Author cjuarez1991 Posted June 18, 2012 Author Posted June 18, 2012 I continue to put up with this cause I thought I might be exaggerating this and needed to drop it. He says he loves me, and doesn't want to be without me, he says I'm beautiful and loves everything about me yet I just can't seem to let this go cause I'm so hurt by it.
Philosoraptor Posted June 18, 2012 Posted June 18, 2012 I continue to put up with this cause I thought I might be exaggerating this and needed to drop it. He says he loves me, and doesn't want to be without me, he says I'm beautiful and loves everything about me yet I just can't seem to let this go cause I'm so hurt by it. If he cared enough he wouldn't continue to do things that hurt you. This isn't something that needs to be said nor is it something that makes up the core of him. He likes some ladies more than others, great... he could keep it to himself. He also should be a bit nicer than saying other women are better looking than the one he has. That is simply rude.
d'Arthez Posted June 18, 2012 Posted June 18, 2012 Get out of this relationship. He willingly and knowingly is hurting you. I would even say he is intentionally is hurting you. Why would anyone put up with that??
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