honeymel Posted June 18, 2012 Posted June 18, 2012 My boyfriend and I have been together 10 months. 4 have been long distance because he got a real good job out of state and moved, and I stayed where I am for now. The last week and a half he has been real distant. He is trying to buy a house and I guess it isn't going good. He didn't go into too many details, just that he is having problems with the bank. The few times I've gotten a hold of him, he gives real short answers and doesn't seem to want to talk. Tonight I text him, and he said he is still waiting to hear from the bank. I asked if everything was ok between us, and he said I've just been really down. Not yes or no. I asked whats stressing him so much, and he said everything had just piling up on him at once. I left the conversation at if you want to talk I am here from you, but its ok if you want to be left alone and he said thanks. Do men act like this when they are really stressed out and down? I have never seen him act like this in the entire time we have been together. I just want our relationship to be ok, but I can tell he needs his space now and don't want to push it. Thanks
dbave Posted June 18, 2012 Posted June 18, 2012 Well I'm not sure the type of guy he is. Though when/if I get depressed, I tend to consolidate inwards and get over it before becoming social again. That's kind of the definition of being depressed. So if he truly is depressed he might be the type of guy that wants alone time and not to much pestering. Gauge your guy and see if he wants a hug, wants someone to talk to or just needs to be alone. Just let him know your there for him if he needs a talk but don't baby him. Always let him know he can throw down his guard and vent on you if he really needs to. Otherwise I don't think he is losing interest in you or anything from the information I gather.
thatone Posted June 18, 2012 Posted June 18, 2012 Yes it is normal, yes you handled it the right way.
denise_xo Posted June 18, 2012 Posted June 18, 2012 Yes it is normal, yes you handled it the right way. This. It's normal for both men and women.
ihateslowjams Posted June 18, 2012 Posted June 18, 2012 Im only going to answer based on my own experience, which does not mean is the same as your bf: When something was bothering me and bringing me down, i didn't open up about it or want to talk to my ex gf to try to resolve the issue (in the beginning of the relationship, about 1 year). Every issue i had i kept it inside of me and just tried to act normal when i was with her. However, because i kept it inside of me, i didn't have anyone to talk about it with, i would snap at her from time to time. It wasn't until she forced me into opening up to her emotionally and made it a point that i should open up to her more often. HOWEVER, that also became a tool for our break up because she eventually got sick of how i became open about my problems and would lean on her when something new came about. She saw it as a flaw of mine and said I've lost confidence in myself and its unattractive. Maybe your bf is just not open about talking his problems out, or maybe he has had a similar experience as mine and learned to not talk about his problems with you. I do agree with you that you should give him as much time/space he needs and if he wants to talk to you, he can any time.
Radu Posted June 18, 2012 Posted June 18, 2012 My boyfriend and I have been together 10 months. 4 have been long distance because he got a real good job out of state and moved, and I stayed where I am for now. The last week and a half he has been real distant. He is trying to buy a house and I guess it isn't going good. He didn't go into too many details, just that he is having problems with the bank. The few times I've gotten a hold of him, he gives real short answers and doesn't seem to want to talk. Tonight I text him, and he said he is still waiting to hear from the bank. I asked if everything was ok between us, and he said I've just been really down. Not yes or no. I asked whats stressing him so much, and he said everything had just piling up on him at once. I left the conversation at if you want to talk I am here from you, but its ok if you want to be left alone and he said thanks. Do men act like this when they are really stressed out and down? I have never seen him act like this in the entire time we have been together. I just want our relationship to be ok, but I can tell he needs his space now and don't want to push it. Thanks When i was depressed, i used to cut off communication with ppl. Doesn't matter if it was gf or family, or friends. I was quite irritable too, if you tried to pull me out of it.
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