iswilson08 Posted June 18, 2012 Posted June 18, 2012 I met this guy and we hit it off great, talked for a few weeks, went out with friends and then after 3 weeks we finally had a date to ourselves, which went wonderfully. Now for a little history. He is recently divorced 6 months (she left him) and was with his ex a total of 20yrs. They parted on civil terms and are friends which I have no problems with, I'm civil and friendly with my ex. I even met her the night we went out, it was unexpected but I rolled with it and it didnt bother me. Anyways, the date was on Friday and come Tuesday he said that the ex wanted to talk to him about something, I already had an idea, but waited to hear back from him. So, the next day, low and behold he tells me that they talk for hours about maybe trying to rekindle what they had and that they had also agreed to see other people as well. I know he likes me but I also know his head is cloudy with the ex and he needs some time to sort things out about what he wants. He has been completely honest this whole time and has spared no details about his ex. I want open honest opinions on what I should do and I want to know if I am a fool for waiting to see what happens with us.
whichwayisup Posted June 18, 2012 Posted June 18, 2012 He lied to you, he isn't divorced. Divorced couples don't get back together, especially since you say she left him. He probably has been separated for six months and now his wife saw him with you and talked to him, he's changed his mind. Do yourself a huge favour and say goodbye to him. Don't waste time and effort on a man who isn't over his ex, let alone one that isn't divorced. Life is short and if you chase him, or try to woo him away from his wife, you will get hurt.
Author iswilson08 Posted June 18, 2012 Author Posted June 18, 2012 He actually is divorced, I checked public records for myself. But I do hear you on the other side of it, I know he's not completely over the ex. Guess I am just hopeful that he sees what his ex is up to and moves on from her, regardless of whether he wants to be with me or someone else. I think the ex is holding on a bit longer until something better works out for her and she will end up hurting him again. Why should I care right?
MissBee Posted June 18, 2012 Posted June 18, 2012 I guess for me personally I have no interest in waiting to see if a man will choose me, as he dates others, especially his ex-wife. No thank you. I prefer to date people who have let go of their exes, and whose heads aren't cloudy. I just want someone unattached to other people romantically, who doesn't see me as an option out of many. I understand someone dating around before we're exclusive, but I don't need to meet those you're interested in dating. I can't tell you whether or not you should wait for him but I wouldn't. Keep your options open I say, and date around too. I don't think dating the newly divorced is wise, well if you want something serious anyway, as usually they have to "uncloudy" their minds for a little, esp from a 20 year relationship, before they are open and truly available to date others. Dating any newly broken up person, worse, divorced after 20 years, sets you up to be a potential rebound and to be potentially left in the dust as they and their ex do the back and forth dance that couples sometimes do post-breakup before they truly let go. Live your life, date others, and leave him and his ex to sort out their rekindling issues. Who has the time for this? He isn't the last man on earth...so accept that he may very well still be inlove with his ex (obviously, or why else try to rekindle something???) and that you're better off with someone fully single, not hung up on another. 2
Emme Posted June 18, 2012 Posted June 18, 2012 I even met her the night we went out, it was unexpected but I rolled with it and it didnt bother me. Walk away!
spice4life Posted June 18, 2012 Posted June 18, 2012 I agree with ladygrey and the others....RUN like the wind and don't look back. It sounds ike his exW isn't going to let him go for real and is always going to interfer with his romantic life. They are obviously more than just friends and who cares if he is being honest, he shouldn't bring someone else into this situation period. I would tell him thanks, but ABSOLUTELY no thanks! He is about to mess with your heart and head through the guise of being honest. Puhleeze. Tell him to take a hike and only call you if and when he is completely over his ex. He is NOT a good guy despite what he is telling you.
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