Am I being stupid/paranoid?

[dacookie]

Okay so I am not actually with this girl and right now this is long distance but let me explain: I had known her a few months and somehow the conversation led to me living in the US.Before that she said I could visit and had implied I could stay so I questioned further, she told me I could stay and I accepted her offer, this is around the 3 month mark.I am just waiting on my visa and she even organized a job for me...

 

Now I really like her, but I had been getting over my ex so I didnt say I love her etc...I think its fair to say id want to meet her in person and spend time with her first.But she had been flirting with me a lot and calling me pet names.I said she was becoming to me and flirted too but...around the 4month mark of knowing her we were talking one day and I learned she slept with this other guy.They texted for awhile afterwards and the guy was saying they should do it again but she wanted a relationship and he didnt.I told her that I felt betrayed, hurt, led on.She said she had no idea I had feelings for her and was not used to young(20) good looking guys going after overweight older(28) girls like her.I explained to her that I didnt want her to be a rebound/long distance relationship and thats why I would have shown more interest, she asked me if I was ready to settle down in a relationship etc.I said yes but would like to wait till we get to know each other more/in person.

 

I believe her but this is the important bit: She said she would not sleep with him again, knowing my feelings(this is strongly implying she wont sleep with anybody else either)

 

Now please help me with this.I have quite a bit of paranoia after my last/only serious relationship ended terribly.Especially right now the paranoia is really bad.We havent had a decent talk on skype and it always seems like its me who asks to talk instead of type(but she says she doesnt like talking on the phone and this is basically the same)I just sent her an email just saying that I miss her an hour ago and as I am writing this she just came on skype...and Im feeling insecure.

 

Can you please tell me if its fair/okay to ask the following:

 

-If she cares about me like the way I care about her

-If she has been seeing other guys

-Why doesnt she want to talk to me on microphone on skype

 

I ask because I dont think im in a fit thought of mind to know

 

Thanks guys

Edited June 17, 2012 by dacookie

[Philosoraptor]

Man this is a mess. First take the time to finish your healing because right now you're in a fragile state and not likely to make the best decisions. Second, don't uproot your life for someone you haven't met who you aren't even sure about her feelings for you.

 

I'd drop the long distance, heal up, and meet someone local.

[dacookie]

Cheers for the reply man.Everythings cool, I was just on a real downer that day.Over the ex for sure but not over the healing.