Paigey Posted June 17, 2012 Posted June 17, 2012 (edited) I'm really struggling tonight think I'm a little in limbo trying to get past the denial stage. It's been 1 month today since i last saw him, and 1 month on Wednesday since he spoke to me-not without me trying just he ignored me after a couple of texts I sent and i can't come to terms with the fact that after nearly 7 years together he can just discard me this way. I so want to speak to him-not that he'll really give me closure-he'll lie, so why do I still hold out this optimism that he might just come to his senses and speak to me? Loveshackers could really use your advice tonight, i so want to text/ring him in the hope that he'll pick up and that i can say everything i need to and he can give me "closure"... Oh and we never saw each other, he literally sent me a horrible message (no mention of breaking up) and has not spoken to me since... Edited June 17, 2012 by Paigey
Headrush199169 Posted June 17, 2012 Posted June 17, 2012 I Feel your pain, i really, really do. Men, can be quite callous and cruel. My ex did something similiar today, told me something devestating and rather than talk to me about it, he chose to "run and hide" and told me to stay away and out of his life for good. yet i did nothing wrong. it's totally mind boggling, and frustrating, hang in there though, your not alone.
Author Paigey Posted June 17, 2012 Author Posted June 17, 2012 They can indeed, I'm just so lost right now, i feel there's no point in me going NC as it's not as if he's contacting me anyway. Know you're not alone too, and thanks for the reply- feels like i'm going crazy!
SerCay Posted June 17, 2012 Posted June 17, 2012 Keep quite ladies...be gone from his life, disappear on him better than he did on us. We have to make them wonder why we aren't running after 'em, cause that's what they expect us to do. Disappear on him so that it's a win-win for you. He will wonder what's going on and contact you because OOPS yes he still cares and it didn't go as he expected (read: you runnng after him). OR the other win: he's over you and you save your dignity and say F**K him, he's from the past. Whatever you've ever established with this man, you will again with another. Don't dwell because you are used to him and old habits die hard. You will feel it again girls and boys. And so will I ...
Philosoraptor Posted June 18, 2012 Posted June 18, 2012 The thing with closure is that nothing you say nor hear from another person will give it to you. Closure comes with accepting what has happened as fact and learning from whatever you perceive you did wrong. It could be something you actually did or even signs you missed or ignored for the benefit of your ex. 1
Author Paigey Posted June 18, 2012 Author Posted June 18, 2012 All this is very true, i contacted him he actually sent me a message back, it made me feel 1000x worse, but its proven itself to be some sort of blessing because i think i've finally accepted that its over now. And now i can focus on whats best for me and not a way to speak to him. Thanks for the replies they are so right!
Jose11 Posted June 18, 2012 Posted June 18, 2012 Paigey I am in the same stage as you. Its been about two months for me since we spoke. I actually had my own post about the same subject. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/coping/331316-realizing-denial-stage-getting-through I know how hard it is. I was with my ex for 8 years, and yet she was able to just cut off contact with me without even trying to see if i am alive or dead. I went the route of NC too, but I struggle with it everyday. I don't know if she is or not, but it looks like she is ok with it because she never has tried to contact me. I did twice at the begining but she seemed disinterested in talking with me. I always get the feeling of how could someone you shared so much with just toss you away like you no one. I am trying to better myself but it still hurts and i know it will for a long time. At least we know we are not alone in feeling forgotten.
Own Worst Enemy Posted June 18, 2012 Posted June 18, 2012 Usually they come back wanting to be reassured that you are ok and they are not a total bstard. About 6 months too late for you to care. Emotional cowardice. It's not big and it's not clever...
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