Headrush199169 Posted June 17, 2012 Posted June 17, 2012 Okay, sorry guys and girls, this is my first post so could be all over the place! guess im just hoping someone will tell me something that will help. My now ex, and i, were together for 2 years, i loved him, and would always forgive him anything, would always defend him, i, created a monster. about 3 months ago he split up with me, sat there on my sofa crying, telling me how it wasnt going to work out, etc etc, and he left. he left me there, gobsmacked, and distraught. I Started going out, to a point, trying to find something to fill that gap, and felt like i was slowly getting there, then i get this text, telling me to check my emails? so i go onto my emails and theres a huge email with him pouring his heart out, telling me he cant live without me, he wants to marry me, etc etc, but in the time we'd split he was secretly dating a collegue. to which he admitted in this email. which destroyed me, but i, stupidly believed him when he said it was a S**T and meaningless relationship. and told him to come down and say it all to my face, and to his credit, he did. i believed him, and felt blissfully happy i had my best friend back. took it slow to begin with, then he stayed at mine, and after staying at mine for 2 nights, i get a text telling me he;s not sure what he wants, etc etc. and today, in short, he's been cruel and callous and told me he wants this other girl and to feel free to hate him and live life without him. how can i deal with this?! i don't understand why he would reel me back in like that, and then destroy me all over again, i feel so unstable and weak, im lost, confused, emotional, and broken. how am i supposed to get over this, what he's done, he just doesnt see how damaging he's been, and this girl is gloating all over the side of her face. Guess i just need help. sorry to waffle.
Mcnulty Posted June 17, 2012 Posted June 17, 2012 I really feel for you, so sorry you're having to go through this. He's a mixed up individual and a selfish narcissist. Maybe she dumped him, so he went straight back to you as a safety net, only for her to rekindle their relationship and then he was off. Please don't speak to him. he may have ups and downs with her again...likely, if he contacts you, do not reply, it's the only way you're going to get over this. Write down all the bad things about him and highlight the really big ones that mean the most to you. I did that and it does help to get me through. It's okay to feel you're on the bottom, lonely etc...it's okay. Time is your friend...time to recover, regain your strength and start facing the world with your head high. Be strong, but if you need to cry, cry, let your feelings out, talk on here, with family and friends until you have totally exhausted talking about it. The best revenge you can have is to find inner peace and happiness...it only comes from within.The past is dead,only the future is alive for us to bend and shape I wish you luck. "Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars."
Author Headrush199169 Posted June 17, 2012 Author Posted June 17, 2012 Thank you so much for replying, it really does mean alot to me. Thank you, for your advice, i can't talk to my friends, and family, all i get is abuse, "you should of known better" etc, not very supportive when all i want to do is cry and have a hug. Maybe i should get started on this list...
blotter Posted June 17, 2012 Posted June 17, 2012 Do a search for "No Contact" on this forum and read what it is all about. It is what you need to do now.
Brit Posted June 17, 2012 Posted June 17, 2012 I am so sorry, that has to be crushing. From an outsider's perspective, the fact that this other girl is gloating, because of harm and hurt placed on another breathing living human, already shows you, she is no prize, his loss, and let them live in misery together. It is difficult. but do you really want a future with an ass like this. Feel lucky, he saved you from years of what lies in wait. 1
Philosoraptor Posted June 18, 2012 Posted June 18, 2012 Sadly he seems to be checked out from the relationship. The back and forth is a sad normality when it comes to ending a relationship as it's hard to drop things cold turkey. All you can do right now is take care of yourself and that means not letting him back as his words do not equal his actions. He seems to really want something with this work colleague but it likely wasn't all he hoped for.
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