Sanman Posted June 19, 2012 Posted June 19, 2012 But the repeatable and common ceiling for women is due to the fact that they are as pleased with perceived status and positive reinforcement as they are with money and power, whereas the equivalent man just wants the money and power he could give a sh*t about whether you tell him he's doing a good job or not. This is why women are paid less. They are often too quick to settle for less money, if their boss is nice to them. There is a glass ceiling for women and minorities. However, in this day and age I feel that the ceiling is largely relegated to the very top (CEOs, high level administrators, business partnerships, etc). At the end of the day, there is bias against women, but there is also self selection. A woman may be seen as a bad bet for promotion as others may fear she gets pregnant and may take a leave of absence. On the other hand, I work in a professional field with high incomes and many women choose time off, benefits, career flexibility, telecommuting, and other perks over salary as many want to more time with their children and do not always need to the extra money. Men on the other hand, tend to go for the money over the perks in most cases.
Radu Posted June 19, 2012 Posted June 19, 2012 Say! Have you been married? Do you know how to make a marriage work? My husband doesn't tell me, manipulate me, toss a tantrum to persuade or make ultimatums about what I should or shouldn't do. He would never tell me where I can or can go or who I can or can't go there with. Marriage isn't an ownership type of relationship. It use to be but ewwww, we stopped owning people a while back because its wrong. If either of us wants to go to a club its gravy. Go have fun! We don't have to have the other in tow to monitor our behavior or chase off people who might find us attractive either. See, we want to be with each other. No one is making us stick around. We don't have to watch each others friends like suspicious scared hawks either. If either of us wants to go hang with friends "in da club", the other doesn't have to go along to babysit. We trust. We love. We enjoy our relationship. When you have this, you don't need to control. Y'all some warped folks. I'm exceedingly glad the lot of you who think this way seem to have no luck with relationships. It keeps you less likely to procreate and exposed children to your toxic patterns of thought for them to carry into their own adult relationships. Thinking this way you won't be married for long. Good marriages have spouses dictate rules to their partners, normal sane rules, but still rules they choose to respect. I fully expect my future wife to do the same, and i will do the same to her. Having this atittude of 'you don't own me' shows complete disregard for the basic ideals of marriage, where you can't work out without compromise, commitement and understanding. You ppl in the west have no clue what truly is to be in an equal partnership because you went from one extreme to the other, and you use the past extreme to justify present entitled behaviour. In the country were i live, we had women in the top levels of leadership in the late 40's. About "The Short Happy Life of Francis Macomber". I know of that story and the only ppl i have found to actually interpret it as anything but the wife shooting him were either highly idealistic, highly hypocritical or 19yr olds who study english history.
sally4sara Posted June 19, 2012 Posted June 19, 2012 Thinking this way you won't be married for long. Good marriages have spouses dictate rules to their partners, normal sane rules, but still rules they choose to respect. I fully expect my future wife to do the same, and i will do the same to her. Having this atittude of 'you don't own me' shows complete disregard for the basic ideals of marriage, where you can't work out without compromise, commitement and understanding. You ppl in the west have no clue what truly is to be in an equal partnership because you went from one extreme to the other, and you use the past extreme to justify present entitled behaviour. I notice you're not married. It makes me wonder where you get the arrogance to tell someone else what works for them and has been working for 8 years will not work "for long". It isn't an attitude. It isn't a disregard. It wasn't even a discussion we needed to have about tossing aside convention or telling the other "you don't own me!" like some bratty kid either. Its called compatibility. Your ideals are just not our ideals and trust me, we're glad to not be with someone like you. Wouldn't want to be with someone like you. Don't want to have to have some rigid set of rules we have to stomp our feet and remind the other about because it is so different from how we were before marriage that it is a personal struggle to adhere to. We chose commitment too. We just didn't choose the same things you think marriage takes. We understand each other very well. Compromise is for picking out couches or what movie to watch. Having to set down rules and tell someone how to be and where to go "till death do you part" is not a compromise. Seems to me what you think a marriage takes is more along the lines of what a lot of people I've known think is standard. Guarding each other from being exposed to anyone with your sex parts seems a high anxiety life; you can't always be at someone's heel to bark and scare off folks. If you don't think the other can behave without you monitoring them why get married to them? Ever notice what happens in most standard marriages? Pretty high failure rate. Why predict some doom and gloom future to happy people? Go get married, do it your way and see for yourself. Do many people in the thread really believe that if they don't have their partner on a leash, they're going to run out and screw some celebrity? Ewww! Why are you with them then?!?
Pyro Posted June 19, 2012 Posted June 19, 2012 Do many people in the thread really believe that if they don't have their partner on a leash, they're going to run out and screw some celebrity? Ewww! Why are you with them then?!? shoot me if my marriage ever comes down to that. Part of getting married means that you TRUST the other person 100%. I TRUST that my SO knows the difference between what behavior is acceptable and what behavior is not when we are apart. If there are any doubts then don't get married. 1
Sanman Posted June 19, 2012 Posted June 19, 2012 Do many people in the thread really believe that if they don't have their partner on a leash, they're going to run out and screw some celebrity? Ewww! Why are you with them then?!? Wouldn't be with my gf if I did think that. As for going to clubs and such, neither of us would think of telling the other what to do. However, neither of us would want the other to worry. This means that we don't go out to clubs on the regular by ourselves, do discuss it with the other partner, and have trust and faith in the other. We also call/text to comfort the other person. For example, I had dinner with a female colleague the other night and after dinner was over I gave the gf a call to see how she was doing and to let her know I was heading home. I do it not because I am required, but because I don't like the idea that my gf may worry if she does not hear from me. The problem is that many relationships are focused on things like money and looks and do not develop a certain level of trust and concern for the well-being of the other. Thus, some coupled might realistically be concerned that one member may cheat with a celebrity. It shows you that you need to look for more in a relationship than looks, money, or material goods. 1
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