Chunky Posted June 17, 2012 Posted June 17, 2012 My girlfriend and I have been seeing each other for a few months now. We've had sex and all but lately she had pain down there. I fully understand and am not in any hurry to have sex. I don't want to pressure her. She says she's sorry we haven't been able to and like I said, I understand. We kiss every now and then just quickly when we see each other. My problem is is that I'm very attracted to her and would just love to sit together on the sofa and just kiss and snuggle and make out some. Don't get me wrong, she's a wonderful woman who makes time for me and cooks and cleans and helps me out always. I just love her and want to be near her. Any advice?
tivoconga Posted June 17, 2012 Posted June 17, 2012 Have you tried really making out with her recently? Try stepping things up - she'll probably be fine with it, unless she hates making out (and I don't think I've met a girl who doesn't like it - especially at home). Or for that matter, since it seems like you've talked about sex, why not simply tell her what you've stated in your message (i.e. that even without sex, you'd love a make out sesison every once-in-a-while) - she'll probably appreciate the fact that you want to be closer to her. At a minimum, it will be a signal telling her that you want to try to do something else that involves contact (whatever-that-may-be). Moreover, it will be telling for you, if she rejects the notion of a make-out session.
Author Chunky Posted June 17, 2012 Author Posted June 17, 2012 Thank you for your responses. I appreciate any an ALL advice.
Philosoraptor Posted June 18, 2012 Posted June 18, 2012 Just kiss her then. If you've been as far as you have you shouldn't have any reason to think she'd push you away. Pick a time and just kinda dive in.
Author Chunky Posted June 19, 2012 Author Posted June 19, 2012 Did some kissing on her sofa this afternoon. It made me feel loved. Thank you everyone for the good advice. I know it's weird since we've had sex but I just get nervous sometimes. Thanks again!
Author Chunky Posted June 23, 2012 Author Posted June 23, 2012 Last night I was a little down in the dumps. My girlfriend and I were talking on the phone. Wile we were talking there was a knock on my door. She was there! She was driving over while we spoke. She live about 2-3 blocks away. She came in and we had a talk about kissing and making out. I was embarrassed but she said not to worry about it. She said she didn't mean to neglect me and said things would be different from now on. She was really sorry about it. We ended up having sex afterwards. I was so afraid to talk to her when she didn't get upset at all. All this time I was worried for nothing. I want to say that I appreciate the advice from folks on this web page. Thank you! I guess being upfront about your needs really is the way to go!
thatone Posted June 23, 2012 Posted June 23, 2012 yeah pretty much, the simplest solution is usually the right one.
Author Chunky Posted June 27, 2012 Author Posted June 27, 2012 Not sure just what to think now. Her back has been bothering her for 2 days now and today she's feeling a little better. She's been rude to me on the phone and accused me of smothering her. So I stopped calling her. So then she shows up and brings me s'more that she made. We then go run some errands. She drops me off at home and says I might see her later. A few hours later I call her and ask her if she'd like to come over and snuggle with me on the sofa. She says she wants to take a nap. She then says she'll be over in a few hours. I gotta tell you... I am getting fed up with this! I don't know what to think from one minute to the next. First. She's touching me all the time. Then we have sex. Now I'm struggling to just to be able to have some alone time on the sofa. I don't know what to think but I'm wondering if this is why she had been alone for so long. I don't want to play games anymore. I'm tired, lonely and angry. I just wish I knew what to do about it. My feelings are hurt and overall this doesn't help my male ego either. I just feel like a failure. I don't think I'll be able to do this much longer.
HopelessinDTW Posted June 27, 2012 Posted June 27, 2012 Not sure just what to think now. Her back has been bothering her for 2 days now and today she's feeling a little better. She's been rude to me on the phone and accused me of smothering her. So I stopped calling her. So then she shows up and brings me s'more that she made. We then go run some errands. She drops me off at home and says I might see her later. A few hours later I call her and ask her if she'd like to come over and snuggle with me on the sofa. She says she wants to take a nap. She then says she'll be over in a few hours. I gotta tell you... I am getting fed up with this! I don't know what to think from one minute to the next. First. She's touching me all the time. Then we have sex. Now I'm struggling to just to be able to have some alone time on the sofa. I don't know what to think but I'm wondering if this is why she had been alone for so long. I don't want to play games anymore. I'm tired, lonely and angry. I just wish I knew what to do about it. My feelings are hurt and overall this doesn't help my male ego either. I just feel like a failure. I don't think I'll be able to do this much longer. From what you're saying she sounds flaky OR she has some medical issue that she's keeping from you. She sounds like she's all over the place with her mood, and of course that's causing you some confusion. If I were you, I would ask her if she's feeling ok, and tell her that you have a hard time trying to figure out what she's feeling. If she cares, then she will tell you what's going on. I don't think you're doing anything wrong or smothering her.
InJest Posted June 27, 2012 Posted June 27, 2012 Stop smothering her. She told you what the issue is. Just because you stop for a little while, doesn't mean you start back up again once she ****s you. Just stop calling/texting her first.
Author Chunky Posted July 1, 2012 Author Posted July 1, 2012 Tonight my girlfriend and I went out for ice cream. We went back to her place and watched some of the Godfather 2. She was trying to send me signals for some romance but I didn't notice them. Finally we had a romantic evening. She told me she had earlier been trying to get my attention but I didn't notice. I told her I'd be more observant in the future. Just think, a little while ago I was worried about making out when I've been oblivious all along. We've been spending time together and it's been nice. I'm so lucky that I have her.
NateC Posted July 2, 2012 Posted July 2, 2012 There's always little "bumps" in the road. Just remember this one word for the rest of your relationship: communication.
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