tivoconga Posted June 17, 2012 Posted June 17, 2012 I had a first call with a potential online date today - and I'm curious what they're suppose to be like, or perhaps better, what are they usually like. I had only exchanged 2 short e-mails with her, so didn't know much about her at all, and she wanted to talk. We chatted for 20 minutes or so, it was a little awkward, but not awful - and there seemed to bit some interest. My impression is she likes meeting people as opposed to email/text. I'm fine with that - but what are these calls normally like, and should we chat again before I actually ask her out...how should things progress after a first exploratory call? Thanks!
mortensorchid Posted June 17, 2012 Posted June 17, 2012 It all depends. There are some people who still want to put a distance between themselves and others, so they will resort to text messaging, which is essentially an email. As for an actual chat on the phone, it should be light and breezy. Imagine that you have just walked up and introduced yourself to someone in a public place, and don't be afraid to say something. Along the lines of "I do find this a little awkward, being that we do not know each other and have never seen each other in the flesh, but I'm glad to have a chat with you despite this." That is good for breaking the ice with others. As for how you conduct yourself, a word of advice for you or any other man out there: Whatever you do, do not make a complete and utter ass of yourself by questioning a woman you meet online or in person about anything related to s-e-x. It's rude, and if you think that you will have any kind of good relationship with this woman or others, treat her as you would a business client at first. Then you can loosen up.
Author tivoconga Posted June 17, 2012 Author Posted June 17, 2012 So is the first call suppose to be smooth? How long should it last? Do you make an intentional effort to bail after 15, 20, or 30 minutes? Do you call a few more times before setting up a date? I'm new to the whole online thing - so letting me know how you do it would be great. Or letting me know how you'd progress in the following situation would be wonderful (which is what I'm in). As of now, the communication has been: 2 short e-mail exchanges - teasing, and her quickly giving me her number 1 ~20 minute call - which wansn't like pulling teeth, but you could tell that there were some nerves/I don't know who this person is thing going on. I intentially tried to get her off the phone at the 20 minute mark, as she had mentioned a desire to arrive at a music festival at 6:30, and at the 20 minute mark, it was ~6, and she needed to shower and get there. She did, perhaps jokingly, tell me thereafter that I should find her and her friends at the festival (which I was going to as well - although I was going to be in the VIP section and she was going to be sitting outside the gates listening). I wasn't sure if finding her would have been creepy, or cool, given that we hadn't met each other yet - I can just imagine the conversation in front of her friends...if I had gone out with her a few times first, I would have definitely tried to find her, but for a first meeting, I thought it would be strange. Anyhow, that call and festival were yesterday - should I e-mail, call, text, and if yes, should it be some light, playful banter to see if the nervousness can be stripped out, or just dive right in with a date invite?
FitChick Posted June 17, 2012 Posted June 17, 2012 Talk about the show and if things go well and there seems to be attraction, ask her out.
Vintage79 Posted June 18, 2012 Posted June 18, 2012 I'm curious about this as well - is a call, text, or e-mail best in this situation? I'm assuming call is best - but is e-mail/text a bad thing? How much contact do you want to maintain at this point in getting to know a potential online date? Daily contact, every 2 days, or less? I'm always a bit hesitant to call - as at least when unexpected - it can be nice, but it's frequently at a non-ideal time. Is texting/email to set up a call time ridiculous? Does that scream low confidence?
Recommended Posts