Lexa Posted June 17, 2012 Posted June 17, 2012 Pretty much all of my friends no longer fit in with what I want out of life, but it's so hard to just let go of them. Should I distance myself gradually? What's a tactful but effective way to do this? Some of my friendships are codependent so I feel like I have to cut them off. I'm moving to another city in early August and until then I'm going to be by myself in my apartment. I'm trying to find my first job so there's that, but I have no idea how to "network" and am nervous about the whole thing. I'm afraid if I totally isolate myself I'll fall into a depression and just not try to find a job, but at the same time, I need to be alone and think about what I really want. How do I go about this while staying grounded? I'll be starting summer classes in a few weeks but other than that, all I have to keep me busy is the job search. I'm not even really sure what I'm looking for. Anyone gone through a transitional stage like this? Or purposely isolated themselves for personal growth reasons? What worked for you?
gskyo Posted June 17, 2012 Posted June 17, 2012 I completely understand this situation because I went through it last year. The friends I made at college were no longer going on the same path as me after graduations, our habits and mentalities were changing though we still hung out. I decided I have to find a way to move on. I chose to leave the country (in line with my own dreams), which is similar to you leaving the city. For friends you are fine with, dont burn bridges. Take the few months left you have with them to hang out for the last few times. Don't isolate yourself. For those you want to cut off, those that are overly dependent on you and practically toxic, become incognito after you leave, dont leave them a number or way to stay in contact after you leave. I did this, and yes, I have some regrets. I wonder how this makes me as a human being for being so cold as to completely wipe off some people as if they dont exist. However, I made new friends in the new city by talking to people i go to classes with, work with, through interest groups and I feel better knowing that the friends I feel who are too controlling, manipulative or basically, toxic, no longer have any influences in my life.
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