edwards99 Posted June 17, 2012 Posted June 17, 2012 when i want to break NC..i want to say things that i think make her think she made a mistake..or i try and make her want to feel sry for me..or feel bad about what is happening..i try n bring up memories and this and that...but at the same time i dont want the misery-go-round.....not sre i even want her back..and really i dont think i do..i think se is wrong for me...it like i am afraid of being alone to my thoughts...she made me feel things i never did n ways i never did.. i am so afraid i wont feel that agan...why is this happening.
tryingtodiscoveranew Posted June 17, 2012 Posted June 17, 2012 I just broke NC...I wanted to say Happy Birthday to my ex's Father. I actually don't feel too bad about it. Basically, I sent the mssg. for me. I wanted to do something that makes me feel good. And being nice does that for me. Also, I wasn't looking for a certain type of response from her, which also keeps the hurt from arising. I guess the bottom-line is I suffer from being neglected. One of my parents was barely around when I was growing up and because of that I find myself in relationships with people who are emotionally unavailable, which breeds neglect. So, one of the hardest things for me to do is to ignore, or completely cut-off communication with someone I care about. I grew up with the pain from having it done to me over the years that I cannot stomach doing it to another. I suppose that's why they spray new police officers in their eyes with mace. That way they know how painful it is and will not use it on another haphazardly. I am writing all of this to say, that if you want to contact her to say what you need to say...I get that! But, if you are hoping for a certain type of response I do not recommend contacting her at all. This will throw you deeper in the hole of despair. So, remember...think twice before you spray!!
Phanpooh Posted June 17, 2012 Posted June 17, 2012 Last time i break NC to wish her happy with new BF, they think me were crazy and jealous.... And then 1 message, i lost ton of friends ( however i dun need them who dun respect me) And now, i'm really happy while i stayed in NC. I still miss her, dream about her but that okay maybe, it's called "Nostalgic"
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