carhill Posted June 18, 2012 Posted June 18, 2012 The nether exists, for myself, for two main reasons: 1. Horrendously negative experiences with giving women 'the benefit of the doubt' in this area. 2. The often-repeated generalization, mainly by female LS'ers, that a woman decides very quickly upon meeting a man whether he is relationship material/boyfriend material/husband material/casual sex material, etc, or not. If she has made a clear enough decision in her mind to say a verbal 'no' to him, that's definitive and final in my book.
Algermas Posted June 18, 2012 Posted June 18, 2012 I couldn't. If I wasn't good enough before you can keep on walking.
RedRobin Posted June 18, 2012 Posted June 18, 2012 Define 'good enough'. These days, alot of men expect sex before you even know their last name... much less get to know them as a person. From what I've read on Kaylan's other posts, he comes across as a guy who is on the fence about what he wants. He has NSA sex and then some of them (I guess) evolve into 'relationships'. To me he seems a bit immature and unstable. He might seem that way to his 'friend' too. Maybe she is just waiting for him to get that shyte out of his system. Seems like a perfectly reasonable explanation why she didn't go for him earlier. Same reason why I wouldn't date a guy who recently broke up with someone or was separated or recently divorced. They are a poor risk. I think Kaylan is a poor risk for a LTR. Sorry. Just how I see it. He wants to play it like women have to 'give it up' on his timetable... but no respectable woman with an ounce of self-esteem is going to do that.
gaius Posted June 18, 2012 Posted June 18, 2012 I think you hit it on the head RedRobin. It's nice to have your ego stroked by having the girl submit to you totally from the beginning, but you're missing a lot of great opportunities if you get all spiteful because one invitation wasn't accepted.
mortensorchid Posted June 18, 2012 Posted June 18, 2012 I wouldn't if I were you. Remember that this person treated you badly and you had to suffer from it once, it will not stop them from doing it again if not in another way. About five years ago, I met this man on Match. I was feeling neutral about him, until he told me that he had some kind of psych disorder that had caused him to be hospitalized. Not sure how I felt about this, I backed off until I got a treatening phone call from him saying he did not like being ignored and he wanted his answer. I said "Oh that's how it is? Well in that case, how can I get rid of this guy?" So I called him saying I was very busy the last few days and did he want to come over for Sunday dinner? I invited all of my guy friends over. He was so intimidated by them that he called and broke it off the next day. We were friends on MySpace and he unfriended me. I figured that was that and moved on. Six months later, I got a friend request from him on MySpace. Out of curiousity I accepted it, he wrote me an email through the site. He said he felt really guilty about how he just ended things and he wanted us to be friends. I figured that was that, until I bumped into him at a concert a few weeks later. He said he was engaged to be married, I said I was happy for him. The day after he wrote an email asking if I wanted to do something with him in the coming weeks. I did not respond to it right away, within 24-48 hours after he had written that, he unfriended me a SECOND time because I did not acknowledge him. A few days later, he sent another friend request. That time I said "Forget you!" and blocked him. Two years later he wrote me another email through MySpace again saying that he made an error in judgement and he wanted us to be friends and things have changed. Think I gave him the time of day? Of course not. I told him to go back to his wife and get over it.
snug.bunny Posted June 19, 2012 Posted June 19, 2012 Could you give someone a shot after theyve shot you down in the past? Yes, and I have. Keep in mind, it depended entirely on the intensity of feelings I had for someone. It was someone I had a "boy crush" on, it was only surface (superficial), thus the initial rejection wasn't a big deal for me. On the opposite spectrum, if it was someone I had deeper feelings for, then that changes things a bit for me. It would also depend on how he treated me, good versus bad, and how things were left. If it wasn't in a favorable light, well that changes things a bit. As for your predicament, you do seem on the fence, so maybe mull it over a bit more.
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