KS11 Posted June 16, 2012 Posted June 16, 2012 So i havent been on here in a while, and i wish i was coming back with rare success story, but im afraid not. Im not going to bore you all with my story again, but im just curious to hear some peoples thoughts on something.. I've read lots of contracting stories about whether you should let the person you love go, or you should stay and fight for that person. I was just wondering what peoples thoughts are. Just to give you some small context, ive been in love with this girl for nearly two years now and to its destroyed me. We've never been together, but she has always 'strung me along'..i guess. But, what is the right thing to do? Despite how she has treated me, i seem to love her more each day, but is it right to keep trying? or should you let them go? Would really appreciate any thoughts.
Balzac Posted June 16, 2012 Posted June 16, 2012 What payoff are you getting from hanging onto an illusion? Your description isn't that of a relationship.
Author KS11 Posted June 16, 2012 Author Posted June 16, 2012 No i know, but i wanted to keep my description relatively short. The good bits i have left out...but in any case it still doesnt stop me being in love with her. Every relationship has its periods that are hard? I know it may well remain a illusion, but it also might not, and thats where im having trouble.. stillafool: i appreciate your comment, but is there no part of you that thinks love is worth the fight? I dont mean that in an aggressive way, i just want some opinions.
96nole Posted June 17, 2012 Posted June 17, 2012 A relationship take two to make it work. Period. You cannot love enough for the two of you to make it work. But at the same time, it doesn't sound like you have anything anyway. This has "destroyed" you. Why would you let someone destroy you? You've never been together. Then what do you actually have? She's stringing you along. Why would you let someone string you along? It's time you stop loving her and start to love yourself. What are you really getting out of this other than pain? You've invested enough time in someone who isn't worth the investment. If she really wanted to be with you, she would not be stringing you along, you would have been together, and you wouldn't be destroyed. It's time to find someone who actually wants to be with you. You can't make someone want to be with you.
Author KS11 Posted June 17, 2012 Author Posted June 17, 2012 You're right and i know it myself. I guess when i said about stringing me along, i meant that theres always been something in the way, and ive kind of always used that as an excuse, except now there isnt anything stopping her anymore. I think like so many, im just holding on to the memories of how it used to, the things shes told, and having that connection with someone. And as much as i want to be able to let it go, i just know, i know im not going to find someone i share so much with, there are too many niche things we have common that i wont find with anybody else. i just cant tear myself away and face what little remains.
stillafool Posted June 18, 2012 Posted June 18, 2012 I was just wondering what peoples thoughts are. Just to give you some small context, ive been in love with this girl for nearly two years now and to its destroyed me. We've never been together, but she has always 'strung me along'..i guess. When you say the above, what other sensible advice is there to give, but to move on. After two years and no response from her? My gawd, of course move on you are wasting precious time. You can't make someone love you.
jquest1280 Posted June 18, 2012 Posted June 18, 2012 those many niche things you had in common will fade from your memory and/or cease to be important when you fall in love with someone else. the sooner you let her go, the more time you'll have to find someone else and build a new set of niche things in common. I don't believe in fighting for the person you love (it's not as if her evil stepmother has chained her to the basement to stop her from seeing you). She should WANT to be with you. If she feels so-so about you now, how will she feel 10 years from now when the passion has waned (assuming there's even passion to begin with now). So listen to the advise of all these sensible people here and Let Her Go.
esteem-jam Posted June 19, 2012 Posted June 19, 2012 So what do you plan to do? Tell her, once again, that you are really really great guy? Open up your wallet and show her folded paper money? Tell her some compliment? Maybe some gift? A song- its very romantic. I KNOW. A rose. One red rose. Or maybe 10 red roses, cause one is too little, and she will think you dont love her so much and that you are poor. Or 12 red roses, bouqet. But 1 red rose is very romantic. 1 or 12? **** what to do. Maybe 1 at start and then 12? But 1+12 is 13, it is very unlucky, ****. And if you give a rose, make sure it does not have thorns, or else she will think you are trying to spike her eye or something. Ok this was some mockup text, but you got to imprint and sink the idea in your brain- that you can not make other love you, it is out of your control. The more you try make them love you, the more you get the opposite result. They have to want it themselves, on their own. Read the upper posts.
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