fallinghard Posted June 16, 2012 Posted June 16, 2012 Hi, i'll try to keep this brief - i recently met up with an old boyfriend (we dated for about a month when i was 15), and we have been spending loads of time together, just talking etc. the complication is that he has a partner of 10 years and 3 children, yet 2 weeks ago he kissed me. i know what we are doing is wrong, but it just feels so right and natural. we can just spend hours sitting holding hands and talking, so it doesn't seem that this is just about sex, but i just don't know. we have both said we should stop, but we can't and don't want to. please help, is there any chance his affection is a sign of him caring for me, or am i wishful thinking?
KathyM Posted June 16, 2012 Posted June 16, 2012 Maybe he does care for you in some way, but why would you want to waste your life and your time with someone who is committed to someone else and has three children? Why would you want someone who is willing to cheat on his partner and his family? The guy is not worth it. Don't get enamoured with the outside shell and ignore the slimey snake underneath. Go find yourself someone who is worthy of your love and attention, and who is able to give of himself completely to you. This guy is not worth your time, and this path will lead you to disappointment and heartbreak.
mercy Posted June 16, 2012 Posted June 16, 2012 Hi, i'll try to keep this brief - i recently met up with an old boyfriend (we dated for about a month when i was 15), and we have been spending loads of time together, just talking etc. the complication is that he has a partner of 10 years and 3 children, yet 2 weeks ago he kissed me. i know what we are doing is wrong, but it just feels so right and natural. we can just spend hours sitting holding hands and talking, so it doesn't seem that this is just about sex, but i just don't know. we have both said we should stop, but we can't and don't want to. please help, is there any chance his affection is a sign of him caring for me, or am i wishful thinking? You said 'but' three times. I'm afraid you'll say 'but' to whatever is replied. But () I wish you would listen to what your instincts are telling you rather than your desire to be wanted. 'Tis a lovely feeling but....
Radu Posted June 16, 2012 Posted June 16, 2012 Hi, i'll try to keep this brief - i recently met up with an old boyfriend (we dated for about a month when i was 15), and we have been spending loads of time together, just talking etc. the complication is that he has a partner of 10 years and 3 children, yet 2 weeks ago he kissed me. i know what we are doing is wrong, but it just feels so right and natural. we can just spend hours sitting holding hands and talking, so it doesn't seem that this is just about sex, but i just don't know. we have both said we should stop, but we can't and don't want to. please help, is there any chance his affection is a sign of him caring for me, or am i wishful thinking? You know, you wrote that you both should stop but it felt so right. I remembered something i did once with my gf. We were having sex in her room in the apartment she shared. She was on top and she couldn't see the door from the locatio, but i could. I started saying about how we shouldn't do this, and how we will get caught by her roommate [cousin of hers who was a bit of a tattle tale], about what dangers we were facing. Needless to say she became very wild, it simply got better for her and me. You both said you should stop, but that was not to really stop yourself, it was to enhance the experience, you won't stop. This sack of sh.it has 3 small kids and he is willing to endanger their childhood for a romp in the sack. The question is, why is this so appealing to you ? Are you really worth this little ?
Capris Posted June 16, 2012 Posted June 16, 2012 Hi, i'll try to keep this brief - i recently met up with an old boyfriend (we dated for about a month when i was 15), and we have been spending loads of time together, just talking etc. the complication is that he has a partner of 10 years and 3 children, yet 2 weeks ago he kissed me. i know what we are doing is wrong, but it just feels so right and natural. we can just spend hours sitting holding hands and talking, so it doesn't seem that this is just about sex, but i just don't know. we have both said we should stop, but we can't and don't want to. please help, is there any chance his affection is a sign of him caring for me, or am i wishful thinking? Hi Fallinghard. I know that whatever i say, i can not convience you to stop feeling, noone in here can. Our intensions are good, most of us have already been through where you are standing and most of us have been hurt. That said, the only good advice i can give you is to take one step back for a second and see this through. You are already posting on a forum asking for help, this means you know something isnt right and i am not talking morally. I really really know the "it feels so right" feeling. Thats the feeling that will possibly take you slowly and without you realising it, onto a dark road. It is in your hands to either not take this road or make it a light road. Take some time to read some other posters stories. Feel free to check out a thread i made to "newcomers" like you: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/other-man-woman/328831-all-newcomers-just-dont-do If you decide to proceed in an A, it doesnt mean it will end up bad, as long as you stand up for your needs too. Also, do not wait for him too long, even if he sounds sincere. If he wants you, he will go after you. If not, he isnt really "the one". Just keep in mind that an A drains the H out of you. Take care and take one step back!
Capris Posted June 16, 2012 Posted June 16, 2012 Oh and if you go to that thread, read *Got it*'s posts, she gives some really good advise.
frozensprouts Posted June 17, 2012 Posted June 17, 2012 if you know that being with this guy is wrong for you, and you want to get off the runaway train before it crashes, try this... picture his children's faces when they find out that mommy and daddy are splitting up, or the look on their faces knowing daddy hurt mommy ( kids usually know when a parent is hurting, even if no one tells them or says why)... now this guy may very well have it in him to cheat...that is not your fault. But do you really want to now that you were a part of something like that, or would you rather walk away and know that if and when his children pay the price for their dad's cheating, it won't fall, in any way , shape or form, on you? ( I'm not trying to put a guilt trip on you...i'm giving you the reality of what can happen due to an affair...how would you feel about being part of that?)
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