Hot girls who think they aren't hot

[Ninjainpajamas]

Uh, unfortunately that isn't always true in the modern world. A lot of guys "settle" for girls, because they can't get the ones they really desire. Not saying that is the case with you or Mesmerized, but pretty much all of my exes weren't attracted to me physically, but were still sleeping with me.

 

It usually came out of desperation, and maybe even a little wanting to prove that they weren't "shallow." (One of my exes would get really angry when I'd call him shallow, and then go on and on about girls' looks.)

 

A guy having sex with you is NOT always an indication he is attracted to you, sadly.

 

This is pretty much the reality, you're not going to know whether you're attractive to a man or not based on whether he's having "relations" with you...even the "hot" guys that you think have every option in the world out there are with women that would rate around average...so it's a little silly from a mans perspective to assume he is into you or attracted to you just by sleeping with you...because too many guys would sleep with a tree if the bark wouldn't chaff.

 

Also the issue with trying to prove you're not shallow was a good point, a lot of guys try to be more "balanced", some people try and do what they feel is right and fair rather than how they feel because they don't want to be labeled as "one of those people" which is typically, they want to be "better" than that. Beacuse maybe they were judged harshly and cut/rejected by someone, but it can be for other reasons as well.

 

As far as attractiveness or compliments. I'm always since in that regard but I realize most people might say that to flatter but I wouldn't say it works that way for all, or even necessarily most...It really depends on the mans agenda. However it's safe to take it with a grain of salt.

 

However I feel this is really not about men or what men say, a woman who is insecure in how she looks will always feel that way, no matter what or who tells them differently. I realized not to take it personal, that this isa womans own issue. Of course as a woman as soon as you say something insensitive or negative...for example years ago in my early 20's I commented on a couple who was skinny before marriage but not after, the woman had gained weight...and I was half-jokingly half-thinking when I said "god I hate when that happens, they balloon up after you settle down with them" well she took that to heart and she still is offended by that to this day...I would never have said that or even meant that if i knew she was going to take it that far even though I felt there was some truth to it..of course the womans rebuttle is that men doing the same thing...can't say I necessarily agree with that based off what I've seen...not 50/50 anyway.

[nessaaa]

The problem with this question, OP, is that hot girls who think they aren't hot, aren't going to think they are hot, so they aren't going to answer this.

 

lmaaaooooooo!!!!!!

I kno right

 

smh. this guy.

[WhiteChocolate]

I don't know if my response is appropriate, but here's my perspective:

 

I'm not beautiful or hot so it's understandable that I don't get approached too often based on my looks.

 

I do think I can be considered cute though. Pictures in my profile. I'm also fairly social and smile/laugh/joke a lot. Thus, I do meet lots of guys who I think would be willing to date me/give me a chance.

 

I date a little bit, but I think I'm bad at moving the relationship forward. And end up with guy friends. even with the guys I DO like.

 

So, I'm very much single. Mainly because of my own insecurities, as well as my pathetic flirting skills. I also come off as very "goody-two-shoes" and am afraid to express my sexuality.

 

My roommate is very very pretty, but she is also insecure about herself and tends to clam up around men. She has beautiful hair and eyes, clear skin, and the sweetest smile ever, but is just very very shy.

 

We both have our own issues to work through that prevent us from finding our soul mates.

[denise_xo]

Quick one before I go to this wedding party......

 

I keep on encountering a lot of girls who think they aren't as attractive as other girls - when in fact they are actually incredible looking women. This is something I have seen ever since I was 13 years old. I met quite a few really BEAUTIFUL girls and women who were always single and never had boyfriends or much concrete interest as some other girls. I always wondered why this was. I was still always insecure myself back when I was younger and never asked them out, but as I got older I realized this phenomenon is still happening.

 

Conversely, even the ones who know they are attractive tend to have little concrete interest shown to them. I'm not talking typically hot girls, I mean like REALLY BEAUTIFUL girls .

 

So why is this? Are guys intimidated by you, like I was when I was a little younger? Or do you think it's that you don't believe yourself to be attractive enough?

 

I haven't read the whole thread and am just responding to the OP.

 

I'm not particularly beautiful at all - I think I'd rate as quite average on a physical scale - but I've found that the bold makes a huge difference for me. I never received much male attention until I was past twenty, and when I did a bit more after that it was strongly correlated to feeling more confident, feeling more comfortable in my own skin, and being less dependent on outside validation. As a more general observation, I strongly believe that what you project really matters.