fucpcg Posted June 16, 2012 Posted June 16, 2012 That is my advice... unless the person has a REAL program in place on dealing with it. I've responded in a few threads here about understanding the person you are dating if choosing to date bipolar, and being patient, and caring, etc. I take it back today. Yes I know I am a "fixer", I know that I try with women that probably most wouldn't touch, it's the nature of a fixer to care and want to help. Well, I've spent 10 months back and forth with a very bipolar girl, and can tell you she is the foulest woman I have ever dated in my life. Her behaviour when in one of her moods swings is soo callous, and over the months it steadily gets worse, not better. Her nastiness yesterday is just beyond grasp. I really care about this girl, but dating her was a mistake. 10 more months of my dating life down the drain. Bipolar is some serious $hit.
Zed Posted June 16, 2012 Posted June 16, 2012 Do you believe that is her true diagnosis or are you hypothesizing? From you description, it doesn't sound like she is medicated. Bipolars especially are prone to be non-compliant with medications if they are in a manic stage. She could be a combination of things but I would agree, that Bipolar, Schizophrenics,severe depressives, whom are not properly medicated and engaged in strong supportive networks, and therapy groups, can wrought destruction on themselves and cause collateral damage on others. And you are right, you cannot fix them. They need experienced health care providers for that. Your best bet is to call adult services, if you suspect dangerous behaviors that can harm to herself or others.
Author fucpcg Posted June 16, 2012 Author Posted June 16, 2012 are you bipolar and gay? Are you hitting on me?
Author fucpcg Posted June 16, 2012 Author Posted June 16, 2012 She is diagnosed, under care, therapists, etc, but no she would not stick with a medication plan. She wasn't dedicated to making sure she was bettering herself. We would have a lot of talks about finding the right doctor, the right prescription, the right dosing, but she would talk about it then not go thru with her appointments and treatments. That's why I didn't say don't date period, I said don't date the ones who are not taking their condition seriously.
KathyM Posted June 16, 2012 Posted June 16, 2012 I think bipolar is overdiagnosed and it's a term thrown around too loosely for anyone who is moody or irrational. What you're describing could be a personality disorder or some other type of mental disorder, or it could be just a very moody person with no actual disorder at all. Actual bipolar disorder can be managed quite well with medication, and those that are on medication appear quite normal in their interactions. I know a man who is bipolar on medication, and he's very easy-going and happily married. It all depends on how it is managed. Perhaps you could suggest to your girlfriend that she go to get checked out by a counselor because you are concerned about her mood swings.
KathyM Posted June 16, 2012 Posted June 16, 2012 She is diagnosed, under care, therapists, etc, but no she would not stick with a medication plan. She wasn't dedicated to making sure she was bettering herself. We would have a lot of talks about finding the right doctor, the right prescription, the right dosing, but she would talk about it then not go thru with her appointments and treatments. That's why I didn't say don't date period, I said don't date the ones who are not taking their condition seriously. Oh, well this clarifies. If she isn't managing her illness, then she is out of control, and you'd be wise to let this one go. It's not worth trying to deal with the mood swings.
Author fucpcg Posted June 16, 2012 Author Posted June 16, 2012 Kathy I totally agree we are a overdiagnosed, over drugged country, so when we were getting to know each other and she told me about her conditions, I took it with a grain of salt. Not disrespectfully, but like hey I'm a good guy, she seems to be a good hearted girl, we just work thru the rest. I had no idea what I was getting into. That's why I felt the need to come in here and correct myself, vs previous posts I have made about working thru a relationship with a bipolar person. I'll save the story, but her behavior yesterday, wow, like I've never experienced in life.
dasein Posted June 16, 2012 Posted June 16, 2012 Are you sure you are talking about bipolar and not borderline? One is easy to treat and medicate, and I have several friends who are perfectly fine to date while keeping up their meds. True borderline? Run away and don't look back. 1
KathyM Posted June 16, 2012 Posted June 16, 2012 As I said, and I agree with Dasein, Bipolar is manageable if a person is diligent about taking the medication, but it sounds like your gf is not managing it, and I would suggest you not continue with the relationship. Unmanaged Bipolar Disorder is way too difficult for you to deal with. Not worth trying to salvage a relationship with someone who is so out of control.
Author fucpcg Posted June 16, 2012 Author Posted June 16, 2012 Are you sure you are talking about bipolar and not borderline? One is easy to treat and medicate, and I have several friends who are perfectly fine to date while keeping up their meds. True borderline? Run away and don't look back. No, the girlfriend before this one is I suspect borderline, I know the difference. Like I said, fixer, but I'm about ready to just sit and wait for a nice girl to come along. Slow learner I guess....
dasein Posted June 16, 2012 Posted June 16, 2012 The problem I have with bipolars I've tried to date is that they are totally normal people on the meds, then it seems they make up "excuses" to go off the meds, maybe due to getting addicted to the high part. Then they just disappear and go off on some manic adventure for a few months. Next time you see them, they act like nothing happened and want to pick right up at the point of disappearance. This is obviously unacceptable for reasonable people seeking same. I don't have any problem with the ones who stick to their meds in a strict way.
Author fucpcg Posted June 16, 2012 Author Posted June 16, 2012 Yea she was having me research med options online with her. Said she had been thru a few doctors, and a few therapists, but not happy overall with the results she was getting. So I thought okay no problem, we will work thru this together. Turns out she had turnover of doctors, cause she personally wouldn't stick with treatment plans, though she never said that in the start of course. She flipped out on me a few times, a big one was last March when she just broke up with me one day totally out of the blue, later to find though another guy was involved. We patched things up in May, things went well May and June, but then she kept acting like we were a couple during the days, ans hanging out with other guy at night. When I found out, I broke it off with her, saying I'm not going to be a boyfriend of convenience, or part of love triangle. I did it very politely, saying hey if you want him that's fine, but I have my own life to pursue. Her response was epic! All because I refused to play a role in her drama called life. She's acting like one of her crazy moods she has, only worse than ever, and just totally unfounded. Any girl who can blast you for not being one of her two boyfriends she wants to keep around, yea that's a delusional one. Bye Bye baby, don't call me when you remedicate, or come down off this mental swing, I've had/heard enough.
mortensorchid Posted June 16, 2012 Posted June 16, 2012 My Lord, you weren't going out with a former friend of mine, were you? Ha ha ha ... I had a former friend of mine who was/is bipolar. She was like sunshine when you first met her - happy, cheerful, easy going, no reason you wouldn't like her on the surface. Then after she won you over she started to show you the other side, and you just didn't realize what an unstable person she was. There was Happy, then there was Angry (screaming, lashing out at you and others, destructive, etc.), Obnoxious (which meant drunk/high, out of control, screaming not talking - pretty much a graduate from the Courtney Love Charm School), and Holier Than Thou. That was the worst of them, like when she started going to AA and looked down on others saying "Oh look at all these people who have to drink to have a good time". And a few weeks later she would be drunk out of her mind and Obnoxious. At some point she asked me about going to see a psychiatrist, because I was going through some issues myself. But she absolutely refused to take any prescriptions (Prozac and the like), but she seemed to have no problem whatsoever about drinking alcohol, using illegal drugs, and screwing hundreds of guys who she admitted she didn't even like. Why? She said she could not say no. She wanted people to like her. Sad. But, we all have our problems, don't we?
Author fucpcg Posted June 16, 2012 Author Posted June 16, 2012 (edited) Holy crap! Minus the illegal drug use, that's her. Even the AA bit, she's been in and out of that. And she would bitch how other people in the group were just wasting eveyones time, they didn't need to be there. She was a sweetie when we met, part of how I bought into this whole "we'll work thru the bipolar thing together" approach. In our two months apart where there was another guy, turns out there were like 10 guys, when she was fighting with the new guy she was dating. And that is what she wanted from me basically, to F me when she wanted, then go hang out with other guy and F him at night. When I told her no way i'm not going to be an FWB she told me to grow up, amongst many other foul things. Grow up seriously? Being grown up is sleeping with numerous men at the same time? Sad part is, her other boyfriend does the same to her, and he's a successful business man in town. We aren't talking "white trash" here, we are talking people who should be adults, who aren't. So she wants me to F her since he F's around on her, to even the score I guess? All I know is when I told her I am done with this whole ridiculous situation after learning what was going on, she went mental. On the bipolar note, when we first got back to talking after she hooked up with this other guy, she dropped him, dropped all other guys, dropped drinking, hung out with only me, etc. Another 2 months later, right off the rails! Edited June 16, 2012 by fucpcg
Author fucpcg Posted June 16, 2012 Author Posted June 16, 2012 girls are bipolars Wow your IQ must be in orbit mate, thanks for that. This was such an unenlightened thread till you showed up. What took so long to get here?
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