babydoll Posted June 30, 2004 Posted June 30, 2004 Do you ever feel so strong that you know you will be just fine single, only a half hour later you feel lonely and lost? My bF and I are on our last legs here. I have given up almost all hope. We are not happy together anymore yet we are still hanging on, to what, I dont know. I do love him and beleive that he loves me. I dont want anyone else, maybe never will. I feel like Ive been in prison almost, cant wear certain clothes, get the third degree and threaten for even the mention of going to friends. Yesturday I was in shock literally when he said that he doesnt want any friends, I shouldnt either because we have each other. We are both pretty jealous, but Ive put my jealousy aside and have mentioned a few times that he go visit some friends, which he interprets that im just trying to get rid of him. He says if he goes out anywhere I will ask questions. Well I do, but is that wrong? Anyways, he left me a note when he left saying he wants the fighting to stop, and ask me to stop calling him a drug addict otherwise put his bags by the door and he will leave as soon as he gets back. Well I have no idea where he is or when he is coming back, but the truth is he is a drug addict, he may have been single for 38 years of his life but he is with me now, and my children. If he was just a weekend toker, I would be cool with that, but 10 joint or more a day is over doing it. Not to mention its expensive. And he says to me that I dont always give him the money for it but when I do he brings it back in milk or bread, ohhh. But guess what, 39 year old man has his drug habit supported by his mother(yes she knows what she is giving him money for, even at my request that she not give him anymore, she still does) And her, she doesnt have nothing in her cupboards, nothing in her fridge, but him he dont even feel the least bit guilty for taking her money, saying she wants to give it to him. Hellllooo, she has 8 other kids half of which are having a hard time financially. So here I am writing, half to get it off my chest and half to get some advice somehow, someway, there got to be a light at the end of the tunnel. I dont really want our relationship over, but Im not even really sure we can get a friendship back so that we cant at least talk civil, and maybe have a few laughs. Please help
Stargazer25 Posted June 30, 2004 Posted June 30, 2004 Trust me when I tell you I know where you are coming from on the jealous controlling aspects of your relationship~ I am in the middle now of getting out of a bad abusive relationship, where it my boyfriend who doesn't want me to have friends, be close to my family, wear certain things, nothing. He however had always felt free to do what he wished, but I had to do what he said or it was on. It sounds to me that is mother is an enabler, has never made him responsible for what he does, or says, and he has never had any consequence to his actions, which is probably why he chooses you as well, because it sounds that you also enable him, by putting up with his bull**** and not leaving him, again he has no consequence to how he treats you, because he knows you'll stay with him. My guy was/is the same way, without the drug use. You've got kids, so that adds a new spin~ Do you want them to grow up and think this is "normal" or a healthy loving way to live? Please get out for yourself, and for your kids. Have his bags waiting with the door locked.
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