esteem-jam Posted June 15, 2012 Posted June 15, 2012 Alright, so there is this mall, in the mall are several stores. There is this shop I want to visit, and others, maybe. But she works in one of them. They are aligned so that I can avoid a bit of her seeing me, but not entirely, and chance of passing by in the hall or smth is big. Like 18 months+ have passed. Tomorrow is saturday, her shift is off, and if Id go Id go when her shop hours are over. Theoretically she shouldnt be there. But, huge but. I was in the mall 2 weeks ago, saturday, ending hours, as I was walking out I saw she was busy in her store, no eye contact, but she may have seen me from the distance... I just slided away as I was leaving. I think **** it, I really want to check other stores. But then it may look like I am seeking meeting. To be truthfully honest I am not over it, still thinking way too much of her, daily. And seeing her social networks page, I only see profile picture. Just what do I do? I was planning it, and now maybe I have a setback and questioning. And one other thing. This mall has lots of shops, and sometimes I see that some stores are hiring personell. As I am jobless, I could send the CV, not guaranteed I would pass, but anyway. But then I think this would be just TOO close to her, and again it may look like I am seeking her. Im pissed she occupied that place first.
Tiera D Posted June 16, 2012 Posted June 16, 2012 Get the job who cares,what she thinks you need the job!no girl will ever want a guy with no promising future TD
tryingtodiscoveranew Posted June 16, 2012 Posted June 16, 2012 I've worried about this scenario a bunch of times. And it was with more than just going to a place where my ex would be. I even feared doing certain things because I knew she was doing them (yes I took it to that level). A year later I ended up going to a bar (she frequents) with a group of friends. And low and behold...she was there. I ran right up to her and said, hello with a big smile. Introduced my friends quickly (she could barely catch the names;)) and then I walked away, only to hear her yell..."call me". I can't lie to you, she looked more beautiful than ever (who wouldn't when you're only taking a quick glance, though!?). I was uncomfortable for the rest of the evening and a few days later I was haunted by the thoughts of the encounter. It was the first time in 6 mths., that I had seen her and I was hoping I handled it wonderfully. I wanted to know what she was thinking! But, the great thing about it is, that once I got past all of the initial shock, I was so proud of myself. In her eyes, I was out having a good time with friends and I was also very pleasant by saying hello. After that I have never feared doing something, or going somewhere, based on "what will she think". At the end of the day, what matters is, what you think. And I felt courageous, bold and just really good that I was able to maintain composure in what could have turned into a sticky situation. Oh, and on a side note: I once heard that when you constantly worry about what others are thinking, that's your ego! You're making it all about you and that's a entirely different bag of worms you may need to deal with.
Author esteem-jam Posted June 16, 2012 Author Posted June 16, 2012 Well I went and got what I wanted, luckily her store was closed. I understand it might be easier if you have good friends/buddies securing your back and then you keep doing your things. For me it is somewhat difficult cause I dont have anybody to make company to some events, or just plain chilling in the park... The few persons I can imagine who could make me company- Im afraid I would just be on reception side of jokes, not much support at all... therefore I was thinking I need a renewal of friends and whom I define as "friend" (but that is another story). Few things I know- I wont come to Her and say- look, I improved, how do you like me now? Nah, not now at least. And I wont chase her with compliments and gifts. And as said in NC guides- I am not eager to reveal any information what Ive been doing (or not)... if we were to talk. You are very right about worrying what others think- if I base my worth on how others like me or not, or how others want me to be- that is very shaky foundation... Thanks to LS I have learned this. About the mall thing- I am sure I will go more times... on saturdays, and thinking to go on working day some time, cause there is one tech store Im interested in and I havent been there in ages... 2~ ages byt now I think
Recommended Posts