DonVee Posted June 15, 2012 Posted June 15, 2012 I've been seeing this guy on and off for a while and unfortunately we ended up pregnant... I never wanted for this to happen and he was shocked as well but it's here now and we can't take it back. So for the last few weeks we have been discussing the future of our child and possibly a future for us and began to work on it. I find him to be very selfish and inconsiderate he never has time for us and leaves me hanging almost every chance he gets, I get so frustrated and mad that I eventually get sick, can't sleep and vomit all night then I have to wake up tired and drag myself to work. This morning I decided to completely remove myself from the situation and I text him the longest text message ever (I know it was chicken **** but talking to him never solves anything it only makes things worst). I pretty much told him that I needed to go through this alone so that I can focus on our health and that I will be able to deal with him after the baby is born. Reason being: His actions stress me till I get so sick that I already ended up in ER from dehydration and exhaustion. I'm so hurt that I have to deal with this situation alone but I can't allow myself to stress and worry about him when he could care less about me. I was in tears this morning and I know it's the hormones but I know that eventually I will be able to have peace without him. I'm so sad right now!
stillafool Posted June 15, 2012 Posted June 15, 2012 I'm so sorry for what you are going through. You were right to remove him from your life if he is causing you and the baby this much stress ALREADY. He will probably get worse as time goes on so you definitely did the right thing. I hope you have family to help you out if only just for someone to talk to.
geegirl Posted June 15, 2012 Posted June 15, 2012 You did the right thing. Your well-being and the health of your child comes first. He does not add any postive to your life and most likely won't when you have the baby.
Author DonVee Posted June 15, 2012 Author Posted June 15, 2012 I'm so sorry for what you are going through. You were right to remove him from your life if he is causing you and the baby this much stress ALREADY. He will probably get worse as time goes on so you definitely did the right thing. I hope you have family to help you out if only just for someone to talk to. Thank you... I'm so grateful for my family without them I don't know what I will do. You did the right thing. Your well-being and the health of your child comes first. He does not add any postive to your life and most likely won't when you have the baby. You are so right this situations has been nothing but negative hell when dealing with him... I was hoping that we could work it out for the sake of our child but I just don't see that happening and I hope he can be there for his child when it's born that would just hurt my heart if he treats my baby the way he treated me...
TaraMaiden Posted June 15, 2012 Posted June 15, 2012 I've been seeing this guy on and off for a while and unfortunately we ended up pregnant... I never wanted for this to happen and he was shocked as well but it's here now and we can't take it back. I'm so sorry - I cringe every time I see this comment.... "We" are pregnant. well, as you have discovered, 'we' are nothing of the sort. YOU are pregnant. He had precious little to do with it, with regard to having to cope with the consequences. Eggs and ham, darling: The chicken contributes, but the pig is irreversibly committed. ...The unfortunate fact that you've been seeing him in and off....the fact you "find him to be very selfish and inconsiderate he never has time for us" and the fact that he has demonstrably proved he's a no-hoper, means that you yourself are pregnant. He is not at all, and is probably distancing himself with utter relief. I predict an enforced support order, and a child with two parents, but only a mother, and no father. How in hell did this even happen? 2
Author DonVee Posted June 15, 2012 Author Posted June 15, 2012 I'm so sorry - I cringe every time I see this comment.... "We" are pregnant. well, as you have discovered, 'we' are nothing of the sort. YOU are pregnant. He had precious little to do with it, with regard to having to cope with the consequences. "sigh"... I'm very much aware that I"M pregnant!!! However he had all to do with it when WE laid down and conceived this child. ...The unfortunate fact that you've been seeing him in and off....the fact you "find him to be very selfish and inconsiderate he never has time for us" and the fact that he has demonstrably proved he's a no-hoper, means that you yourself are pregnant. He is not at all, and is probably distancing himself with utter relief. I predict an enforced support order, and a child with two parents, but only a mother, and no father. ahhhh... I don't see things being that difficult he's not new to fatherhood at all he has a pre-teen from a previous relationship that he loves and takes care of so I really don't question his future involvement with his child I just don't like how he treats me. I can handle a ass hole and so what if I'm pregnant from a man that I'm not involved with s*it happens and it's unfortunate that WE will be co parenting but I'm a big girl I can handle it. How in hell did this even happen? Do I have to start from the beginning? I mean we all know the story about the birds and the bees!!!
TaraMaiden Posted June 15, 2012 Posted June 15, 2012 You know what I mean.... how on earth did you guys allow this to even be a possibility? That's three lives, bound together inexorably, for good. this guy will never be out of your life, ever, no matter how much you hate the way he treats you. He is the father of your child, and simply because he's a great dad to one kid, guarantees nothing. I truly honestly hope for your sake and the child's, that this - a pre-teen from a previous relationship that he loves and takes care of so I really don't question his future involvement with his child wins over this - I hope he can be there for his child when it's born that would just hurt my heart if he treats my baby the way he treated me....
Author DonVee Posted June 15, 2012 Author Posted June 15, 2012 (edited) You know what I mean.... how on earth did you guys allow this to even be a possibility? That's three lives, bound together inexorably, for good. this guy will never be out of your life, ever, no matter how much you hate the way he treats you. He is the father of your child, and simply because he's a great dad to one kid, guarantees nothing. I truly honestly hope for your sake and the child's, that this - wins over this - . I'm completely aware of my situation and as I mentioned before what's done is done and we can't take it back because abortion is NOT an option so with that being said... I KNOW that he can be a far better father than a boyfriend, fiance, significant other, husband etc... One Vs The other: My feeling for how he treats me are just that (my feelings) it hurts that we can't work it out and stay together to raise our child but as I mentioned before I'm a big girl I can deal with it. However I won't doubt him as a father and I should have never stated that in the first place because I knew better despite my feelings for him I will never come between them, I'm woman enough to put my child first and get alone with him for the sake of my child. Sh*t happens we just gotta deal with it but for the mean time I'd rather do it alone Edited June 15, 2012 by DonVee
TaraMaiden Posted June 15, 2012 Posted June 15, 2012 I wish you well, and congratulate you on dealing with something that might floor and utterly disable some women, with fortitude, strength of character and such determined tenacity. You're a credit to yourself, your family and your unborn child. Keep us posted on progress, and how things go with you.
Author DonVee Posted June 15, 2012 Author Posted June 15, 2012 I wish you well, and congratulate you on dealing with something that might floor and utterly disable some women, with fortitude, strength of character and such determined tenacity. You're a credit to yourself, your family and your unborn child. Keep us posted on progress, and how things go with you. I'm trying but it's hard but I guess my moody attitude can take the blame for that lol... Thanks a bunch I will!
wilsonx Posted June 16, 2012 Posted June 16, 2012 Paint black, pregnant, stress, breakup, and sadness. Hmmmm I wonder what this could be. I want to be independent syndrome Yup 100% his fault, you have no responsibility in this. I like how people just make assumptions about the other person's character and join in on validating her actions. People need to stop jumping on the good for you for leaving that loser bandwagon. While I agree that the breakup is a good thing, its not his fault nor is it your fault, the relationship needed to end
Radu Posted June 16, 2012 Posted June 16, 2012 I don't know if it's the hormones, but your attitude comes off as quite selfish. Something that even TaraMaiden picked up on. I can handle a ass hole and so what if I'm pregnant from a man that I'm not involved with s*it happens and it's unfortunate that WE will be co parenting but I'm a big girl I can handle it. Do I have to start from the beginning? I mean we all know the story about the birds and the bees!!! These 2 worry the hell out of me. There is no guarantee there will be coparenting. Your cavalier attitude makes me question if deep down you wanted this baby more than him. How old are you, what is your job, and do you have any other kids ? Also, what is your parent's marital status.
wilsonx Posted June 16, 2012 Posted June 16, 2012 I don't know if it's the hormones, but your attitude comes off as quite selfish. Something that even TaraMaiden picked up on. These 2 worry the hell out of me. There is no guarantee there will be coparenting. Your cavalier attitude makes me question if deep down you wanted this baby more than him. How old are you, what is your job, and do you have any other kids ? Also, what is your parent's marital status. Those questions at the end are none of anyone's business, I already labeled what it is. There's a reason why the pregnancy happened, she was trying to kick herself out of the "spell" shes in now. Never works.
Author DonVee Posted June 19, 2012 Author Posted June 19, 2012 I don't know if it's the hormones, but your attitude comes off as quite selfish. Something that even TaraMaiden picked up on. These 2 worry the hell out of me. There is no guarantee there will be coparenting. Your cavalier attitude makes me question if deep down you wanted this baby more than him. How old are you, what is your job, and do you have any other kids ? Also, what is your parent's marital status. I will admit I do have an attitude but a "Cavalier Attitude" that is just mean! And your right I might want my baby more than him because based on his actions at this moment he seems to really careless. Don't judge me because I don't allow small things get the best of me, my pregnancy was unplanned and a shock to us both and now we have to face it and I'm dealing with it. Like I stated previously "ABORTION IS NOT AN OPTION" I'm gonna do what I need to do a be a responsible parent with or without him.
Author DonVee Posted June 19, 2012 Author Posted June 19, 2012 Those questions at the end are none of anyone's business, Thank you.... I already labeled what it is. There's a reason why the pregnancy happened, she was trying to kick herself out of the "spell" shes in now. Never works. smh... Really, Are you insinuating that I got pregnant to trap him into a relationship???
blotter Posted June 19, 2012 Posted June 19, 2012 Have to throw this out there, but abortion and adoption are perfectly acceptable options. Better those than bringing someone into a chaotic, toxic, and suffering life.
TaraMaiden Posted June 19, 2012 Posted June 19, 2012 there's absolutely no evidence whatsoever, of course, that this is what she is bringing this child into. every life for a newborn is potentially chaotic, toxic suffering, and I personally know some pretty privileged, well-fed and extremely affluent people who have everything you could possibly dream of - and whose two children are such an example. 1
Author DonVee Posted June 19, 2012 Author Posted June 19, 2012 Have to throw this out there, but abortion and adoption are perfectly acceptable options. Better those than bringing someone into a chaotic, toxic, and suffering life. This does not apply to me...
CopingGal Posted June 20, 2012 Posted June 20, 2012 You did the right thing. This man is a fool. My ex did those things to me. They can both go to hell. I got out like you did.
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